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Am I in the wrong?

GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
This evening I addressed an issue with my housemate. As per the contract, guests can only stay up to 3 nights a week. This housemate has had her boyfriend here for over a week and this is a regular occurrence. He makes no contribution to the bills, but is using all the facilities within the house. The house is a small 3 bedroom house, however a room downstairs is a bedroom, so the house is small. I addressed the contract with the housemate and she got really upset. There's been no communication about her boyfriend being here etc and it's become really awkward. Tonight she Informed me her boyfriend comes over from Germany to stay, so I get that..but it's breaking the contract and it becoming uncomfortable and unfair on the rest of us. I've made it clear that I was going to speak to the landlady because in theory she can get into trouble as this is a HMO property.
This has been going on for months, while he is here there is no financial contribution and there is no contribution to the cleanliness of the house, this is a huge issue that is regularly addressed, as they make mess and do not clean up after themselves.

Have I done the right thing to address this with her and Inform here that I will be speaking to the landlady?


  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
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  • MaisyMaisy Moderator Posts: 531 Incredible Poster
    I think you've done the right thing.

    If it's written in the contract that guests can only stay up to 3 nights a week, then those are the rules. That was written into the contract for a reason, so if the landlady found out that someone had been staying on a more regular basis, then not only could she could get into trouble, but you all could as well.

    It's understandable that your housemates boyfriend would need somewhere to stay a while, when he is visiting from Germany. But it's not acceptable for him to stay there when he doesn't contribute and shouldn't be staying for as long as he is anyway.

    It's definitely worth speaking to your landlady about this. It maybe that the contract can be amended, but if not, your housemate's boyfriend will need to stick to the rules. And preferably help out by cleaning up etc., as well.
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  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    The landlady basically didn't care and told us to sort it between ourselves.
    I'm tired of her approach so looking to move
  • SirArchibaldSirArchibald Posts: 75 Budding Regular
    edited November 2021
    @GreenTea I am sorry your landlady didn't care, its not nice being made to feel awkward in your own home. Have things between your housemare gotten any better?
    I think you did the right thing by talking to oyur housemates about this, if its a small house one extra person can have a big impact, have you noticed that your bills go up, or house is less tidy when the boyfriend stays over? It could be worth noting if these things do happen, as if he stays alot he should contribute to the house
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  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Things haven't gotten better. I need to move house now. I feel on edge all the time. She's constantly slamming doors and just coming up behind me and standing there. It's really threatening behaviour but the landlady isn't bothered
  • FriendlyneighbourFriendlyneighbour Posts: 34 Boards Initiate
    That really does sound very tense and it is completely unfair how they are treating you. You signed the contract too and you want to feel secure in your house and know who is staying. It sounds like you are very houseproud too and so if they are constantly leaving mess, that in itself is a stressful situation. You and your housemates all contribute to the bills and all signed the same contract and so this should be respected, if they are not happy as their circumstances have changed, then they should be the one's looking to move and find a place where this is ok and they can live like that. I'm sorry to hear that things have got so bad that you are now living on edge. It's not right that you're now the one who is made to feel uncomfortable living there but your happiness and health is important and I feel you've made a good decision to put that first and are now looking at moving house.
  • maryam852maryam852 Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    @GreenTea You absolutely did the right thing! I do understand how hard it is to be assertive in situations like this but good job. I'm so sorry you are in this situation, I think it's good you are looking for a new place to live but remember to not compromise purely because you want to get away from your flatmate. I know it is easier said than done but perhaps sit down and talk with her, explaining how you feel. I am sorry about your landlady-that must be frustrating!
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