Has anyone ever been through this sort of thing before?

Former Member

I am about to call it quits because I just don't know how to handle this. My name is Mackenzie but everyone calls me Kenzie. I am 15 years old and am from the United States . Yeah I know this site is based in the UK but I couldn't find a site that wasn't for shit in the United States that dealt with issues for teens. So here I am. Before this school year I have never dealt with a mental health issue and I am in the 10th grade now. This year at the start of the year I started dating a boy on the Football team. He is a Senior and a very popular boy at school. He would take me out to eat and for drives and everything was cool for weeks and then he started feeling becoming pushy for more and I became really uncomfortable. Until one day it got out of hand and he got mad and took me home. We didn't talk for days and then when we did he blame me for leading him on. I told him I couldn't take it anymore and broke up with him. So the next week at school I started to get all these looks and smiles and others were whispering things when I was around. Then a girl in my class ask me if I had slept with him because it was all over the school. Well all I could do is run into the bathroom and almost puke. The slut shaming continued and just got worse as the days passed. People were laughing at me,.. Boys would ask me out constantly and then start laughing. I would get awful disgusting notes put in my locker. All this time only 3 of my close friends stood by me. I felt betrayed and pretty alone. Each night I would cry myself to sleep and then I even started to self-harm which I never thought I would be able to do. I am falling apart. I was a really good student and quickly my grades are dropping because I am making excuses to my mom and dad that I am sick and not going to school. I don't even want to wake up. My Social Media account has also been attacked and I have had to delete it.

I guess I am here to vent and maybe ask for some sort of support or just to listen. Or if anyone has ever been through this sort of thing before. Thanks for listening, Kenzie

Former Member

Hello Kenzie,

Welcome to the boards. I'm proud of you for reaching out

Thank you for sharing this with us open & honestly - you are doing really well. How did it feel to vent to us here?

First of all, I'm proud of you for breaking up with him when things didn't feel right. It's not easy to end a relationship, so that shows what a strong and courageous person you are. It's not right, at all, what has happened since then. With people sharing stories, shaming you, leaving notes, your social media - this sounds like bullying. Which is not okay and is never acceptable. You do not deserve this treatment at all.

The fact you have noticed the impact this is having on you, with you avoiding school and grades dropping, is positive. Noticing the impact is a key step towards getting the help and positive change that you deserve. You say that you make excuses to your mom and dad. How do you think it would be to tell them honestly about what is happening for you?

I'm also wondering whether you have spoken to anybody about this - perhaps a teacher at school? They don't necessarily need to know the details; just the fact you are being bullied is more than enough. It is your teachers' duties to care for you and your well-being in school. You deserve to feel safe and supported, always :heart

You say sometimes you don't even want to wake up. May I ask - do you feel safe Kenzie?

We are right here for you. Take good care x

Former Member

Hey there @Depresso_Espresso I'm glad you felt able to reach out for support here on The Mix, although it is based in the UK there's no reason why you can't use the boards to express yourself and be a part of the community.

@coc0mac shared a lot of really wonderful advice and I don't have much else I can add to what they've said but I just wanted you to know that you are seen, that we here on the boards are here to support you any way we can.

lovemimoon

Hey @Depresso_Espresso
Welcome to the boards!

Echoing what @Riley has said there, though this is UK based, everyone is welcome. Our cultures may differ but the experiences are relatable. Thank you so much for posting here.

In terms of the football player you mentioned:
- You got yourself out of an uncomfortable situation, where this dude (mods, can I call him a douche? D-Bag?) clearly lacked respect for your boundaries. You have a strong sense of self, and don't let anyone shame you otherwise.
- The fact that this dude went around spreading false and harmful rumours about you, purely before he didn't get what he wanted, shows that you did not just get out of an uncomfortable situation. You dodged a bullet, a nuclear missile, etc.

I'm sorry you're going through a really tough time at school.
You don't deserve to go through this mess, as a result of this boy's foolishness. Have you spoken to the teachers? A school counsellor?
If you feel comfortable, confide in your friends and reach out to us too!

I've been through a similar experience when I was in secondary school, from Year 7 to Year 9.
Though it slowed down from Year 10 onwards, I'm still trying to cope with the aftermath.
Let me post this picture here:


Frankly, I have my days where it gets to me.

How are you doing?

Past User

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Ed_

Just dropping in to echo what everyone else has said, you have shown a huge amount of courage and strength in all of this, it really is not okay for your ex to have done what he has. No one has the right to do anything that makes us feel uncomfortable. How have things felt since you posted? Sometimes writing it all down can be a bit overwhelming but as Gman said, it can be a really important first step in working through all this. If you are struggling to tell your parents or someone you trust, have you thought about writing them a letter or an email? You have explained it all so eloquently in your thread here, it can be an easier way of starting a tricky conversation as the person you send it to has a bit of time to work out what they want to say in response.

You are more than welcome to keep reaching out to the community at The Mix, there can sometimes be some limitations to the services we provide such as our helpline can't be accessed from outside the UK. I did just want to drop in a US based resource in case it is helpful, particularly at times when the feelings are getting quite intense. Not sure if you have heard of Crisis Text Line? They offer free and confidential text based support that can help someone calm distressing thoughts and feelings. You can reach them by texting HOME to 741741. They are free and open 24 hours a day.

That said, we are all here to listen and provide a safe space where you can vent about what is going on for you right now. None of this is your fault, and you deserve to feel safe and supported at school.