Death of my cat

Former Member

Hi guys,

I haven't been on here for a while but I am really struggling at the moment and people have always been so supportive and helpful here before so I am back

A couple of days ago my cat had to be put to sleep. She had lived to a good age but It was very sudden and we were not expecting it. She was fine in the morning and then suddenly deteriorated in the evening so we made an emergency vet appointment and unfortunately there was nothing that could be done and she was put to sleep. I was with her at the end and told her how much I loved her and know she wasn't in pain and was the best thing for her but I wish that I had spent more time with her over the last few days and that hugged her tighter. I keep replaying the moment she went floppy in my arms and keep crying every time I walk to the kitchen and her food bowls are not there, or her cat bed. The house feels so empty and I hate it. I don't know how to feel better. I know it will take time but it's unbearable at the moment. The night is the worse and I cry myself to sleep then wake up in the middle of the night and struggle to get back to sleep. I then feel really drained all day and cannot concentrate on anything I usually enjoy. I feel empty.

Does anyone have any advice for anything that might help me even a tiny bit?

Thanks for reading this far if you have

mod edit: moved from Anything Goes

Former Member

Hiya @Esme17

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, sending you the warmest hugs right now Grief is such a difficult emotion to experience but just know that it is entirely natural and means that your cat was loved immensely which can only be a good thing.

Firstly I am wondering if you have talked to anybody else about this. Are there family members or friends who you could talk to about how you feel and give you a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes sharing our emotions face to face with some one is really helpful, they can provide a listening ear and can give you a hug. They may have also experienced something similar.

If you don't feel like talking about it maybe you could write your feelings down in a journal. It might be hard to face up to your emotions but journaling can be really helpful for getting images and thoughts that our swirling around our heads onto paper instead and out of our heads to a certain extent.

I am thinking that when you have the image of your cat dying in your arms, it might be helpful if you could try and change that thought to a good memory instead. Think of a more positive time that you had with your cat or a time she made you laugh.

If the house feels empty, play some music or put the TV on in the background, this might add a layer of comfort by making you feel less alone. Similarly, at night when you wake up try and listen to music or a podcast instead of laying in bed just thinking about your cat.

Finally I would say that to a certain extent you should just let yourself cry and feel the grief. Your cat was obviously so important to you and losing her is a big thing. It's natural to feel grief and maybe part of healing is realising that this will hurt for some time and that is okay.

I hope some of that was at least a little helpful, I can only imagine how hard it must be at the moment but I promise that with time the grief will ease and you will be able to remember your cat in a really positive way. Sending the warmest hugs to you right now, take care

Former Member

@Esme17 I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your cat. It can be very difficult to navigate the loss of those you care for. I would like to give my condolences for what has happened.

As the previous poster suggested, talking to those you are close to can help greatly. However, if you'd prefer not to discuss it, maybe journaling about your experience can help as a method to express your feelings.
However, I do understand that these methods may not always work. Healthline, which is a very helpful advice site- has a list of tips that may be able to assist you during this time.
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/cope-with-loss-of-pet#takeaway
If you would like to refer to a professional service, the Cats Protection has a free helpline that can assist you with any concerns: https://www.cats.org.uk/what-we-do/grief
Their helpline is open from 9am-5pm Mondays-Fridays and their number is 0800 024 94 94.

I hope these resources can help a little, and wish you all the best.

Former Member

I'm so sorry to hear that your cat passed away @Esme17 I've lost my fair share of pets over the years and I know how devastating it can be especially when it happens so suddenly like you mentioned. There's been a lot of really excellent advice from others in this thread already so I don't have much to add but something that always helps me cope when losing a pet is to remember how happy their life with you was. I'm sure your cat loved you just as much as you loved her. I hope this thought helps a little and you can always feel free to talk through your feelings here on the boards.

Former Member

Thankyou @Kat @La_La @Riley so much for the replies, it means a lot 😊

@Kat, I have spoken to my family a bit about it because obviously we are all upset about her death. I just have never been comfortable openly talking about my feelings and tend to bottle them up which only makes things worse. I wrote in my diary about it and have made a photo album on my phone of her to look at when I miss her which is helping a little but.

@La_La thanks for the links. I will have a look at these later on today or tomorrow 😊

@Riley, it was just super unexpected so it was such a shock. My last cat was ill for a while so we were expecting it but this time it was within 2 hours from being fine to being put down. That thought about her loving me as much as I loved her helps me so much, thanks 💕

Azziman

Hey so sorry to hear about your loss. It's always hard to see a loved one go, but take some comfort in knowing that you did your best to give your cat the best life. There's lots of happy memories that you've shared together! If you have photos together, it could be nice to look through and recall some of those good times.

I'm glad that you've spoken to your family about it a little, but remember that any of us here are happy to chat if you need it. Give yourself time, and allow yourself to go through the motions of grief. You'll feel ok in time

Former Member

@starfish_17 I am so sorry about your loss; you should always remember how much you did for your cat and how much you loved it. It seems weird to think about but just like how if a human dies, they would want their loved ones to think about the good things in their life, so would your cat! Well done for reaching out- I know how hard it must have been when you're feeling down.