wat shape to b

ellie2000

is it better to b a triangle, rectangle or circle

AislingDM

Interesting question, when you say 'which shape to be?' do you mean in terms of body shape, or like a video game or something else? xx

ellie2000

ellie2000

Former Member

Heyyy @ellie2000 , just read your pen + paper writing and it speaks to me a lot. I haven't read anything before that talks about identity, self-image, fitting in and belonging in such an abstract way. I can relate to that in terms of body image, in terms of society's expectations of "healthy" and "beauty", but I can also relate to that in terms of race, ethnicity and finding our tribe.

I've been reading a book recently called The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown and she talks about the difference between fitting in and belonging. I found a blog online that also talks about. If you want to read the whole thing then click here but otherwise here's the bit that speaks to me the most and might also resonate with you:

"And this difference between fitting in and belonging strikes at the heart of the Authenticity Principle: the Performing Self is about fitting in because you feel that you have to change your behavior or mask who you are in order to be accepted by others, while the Authentic Self and the Adapted Self are about belonging because you’ve chosen to behave in such a way that reflects your authenticity and needs, and others have accepted you on the basis of this truth."

Your writing begins sounding kind of troubled, but then it goes on to end kind of hopefully and optimistically, like you've resolved to embrace your edges. How are you feeling about your new sense of self and your sense of belonging?

AislingDM

completely agree with what @JamJar has said, your ability to convey such a warm message about the pressures of being a certain way in order to fit in is simply wonderful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this with us, Ellie