i feel like no one listens

Former Member

This is about my mum in particular. As much as I appreciate everything she does for me and my family, i feel like she only hears me, but never listens.
I feel like I often get very overwhelmed and anxious about little things, like going into a shop by myself etc. and I feel like I dont have much support in that aspect of my life. I also suffer with quite bad emetophobia, or a fear of sickness, which is now starting to affect the way I eat and live my life. I have tried so many times to explain my feelings to my mum but i'm only met with "well nobody likes being sick" or "everybody feels this way".
I'm not sure if I have something going on mentally that I just need to address or if it really is just hormones but I've recently had quite a bad episode where I didnt feel like getting out of bed or doing anything, I wouldnt even go on my phone and I isolated myself from my friends for a while. Because its going to be a year since I had this episode in February/March, I am worried that those feelings will come back and I will be stuck in the same place I was.
Unfortunately, I feel like I cant reach out to my friends either. I feel like I am seen as quite a happy person when I am around them so when I feel down or not like myself, they dont really know how to speak to me.
I also have quite a difficult sister, as she is quite aggressive and always seems to be in a bad mood. This understandably makes her upset, but I feel like she also doesnt pick up on when I feel like im struggling because she is always trying to deal with my sister.
I know that im not always the best person to be around as I can be quite snappy and cheeky but I truly dont mean any harm by it and I just want someone to understand that.
I really just want someone to listen to me, whether that is someone reading this simply scrolling past, or someone at school or something else. I just want to feel heard and understood.

Former Member

Hey @strawberry26! I'm sorry you are going through this, sounds like you are having a difficult time at the minute. I completely understand what you mean especially with talking to someone about your feelings and it being as if they have not really listened or answering "well everyone feels like that" makes you feel even more upset about how you're feeling. Have you tried speaking to a professional or anyone else to see what your options are? They may be able to offer advice on how they can help just remember people do care about you and feel free to @me if you ever need someone to listen!

Former Member

Hiya @strawberry26

I just want you to know that I have listened

I completely understand where you are coming from. I think it's natural to want to be truly listened to and I agree it can be so disheartening when you don't feel like this is happening. A lot of time people can seem dismissive when it's just the case that they don't know how to properly react to the situation. So please know it is nothing that you are doing wrong, trying to talk about things is actually such a brave and positive thing to do.

I agree with @tyty21 that it is a good idea to speak to a professional or maybe somebody at school. Maybe a teacher you can confide in or a wellbeing person if your school has one, about your fear of sickness and your fear of isolating yourself as these are things you should not have to deal with alone. You can get help and you do deserve help.

Remember there are always plenty of people on the mix who are here to listen to you. You are important and you are listened to. Sending hugs your way

Former Member

@strawberry26 Hello, I am really sorry to hear about that. I can totally relate in a way- my parent and grandparent are very similar, in which they hear what I say but don't try to emphasize with my viewpoint at all. It can be very difficult to communicate your feelings to ones who respond that way.

Honestly, I vent most of my feelings into a journal XD Except that approach can be lonely so I definitely understand what you mean when you say you'd like to be listened to.

I just want to say that your feelings are valid. It's okay to have negative feelings and have anxiety, and like the other comments here, I too would recommend talking to a professional. That way, you can carve a space for yourself where you can freely express yourself in the way you would like. The NHS has good links to various services, as well as Mind UK.
I wish you all the best, and hope my advice is of use. Have a good day.

Former Member

Hi @strawberry26,

I hear you, loud and clear. I'm listening

It can feel isolating, frustrating, and confusing to be dealing with things without having somebody to listen. Comments like "everybody feels this way" can feel invalidating too. I want you to know that this is a place where your feelings are so valid and where there is always somebody who will listen. We are right here with you

Like LaLa says, journalling is a helpful way to get your thoughts out of your mind/off your shoulders a little. Perhaps this will help in the meantime before you feel you have somebody who truly listens to you. How would you feel about this?

I'm wondering if there is a well-being person at your school or a trusted teacher you feel you could confide in?

Alternatively, you have explained your feelings very well here. I'm wondering how you think it would be to share this post with your mum? So that she can see exactly how you feel from your perspective, and perhaps work together to see how she can support you better. This can feel daunting so this is only a suggestion - whatever works for you

AislingDM

I'd just echo exactly what has already been said @strawberry26 , you deserve to feel heard and understood, not simply responded to, but actually validated in your emotions. I know it's been a few days since you posted, and so, I just wanted to check to see how you're doing? xxx

Former Member

@AislingDM Hiya! I'm so sorry for the late reply, thank you so much for asking. I'm doing alright, a lot better. Thank you for checking in!

Former Member

@Kat and @tyty21, thank you so much. I have spoken to one of my support teachers at school in the past but I stopped seeing her as often due to exams etc. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for your kind words

Former Member

@coc0mac I have spoken to one of my teachers in the past but not as much recently. I think the journal would be a good idea, although I would be a bit worried in case someone read it lol!

I have tried talking to my mum about my feelings and I'm sure she tries her best to understand but nothing seems to change much. I have been feeling a lot better recently though, which is good. A lot happier:)

AislingDM

Thank you so very much for getting back to us all, I know when you're in a better state of mind, sometimes coming back to previous posts can be hard, but I really appreciate you keeping us in the loop! I know you said you're a lot happier so feel free to disregard this idea, but I know physical journals can be a worry in case someone tries to read it, but I wonder if you've given any thought to online password protected journals for the time being? xx