What advice would you give to your younger self or a friend struggling with addiction?

Aoife

Hi everyone,

We're posting a second discussion as part of our drugs project and this discussion will focus on sharing where to get support if you're struggling with addiction.

What advice would you give to your younger self or a friend struggling with addiction?

If you'd like to get involved in our other topic about managing peer pressure, you can read the discussion and comment by following this link.

independent_

I think I’d advise that addiction is an illness, just like other mental illnesses, and addicts aren’t always “bad” people. Whether it’s drugs or alcohol or something else, an addiction is very hard to control and recovery isn’t easy. I’ve known people who struggle with addiction and it’s not always as easy as saying “just stop drinking” or such things. And it’s ok to need support for it.

Azziman

I'd say to tell a friend who'll support you. One can feel very ashamed and embarrassed to have an addiction, and it can force you to isolate yourself and hide the struggle from those around you. Having someone to talk to can be a really important emotional support, and stop one from feeling lonely going through what is a really difficult experience x

Former Member

The most important thing is to be available for this person and give them all the support they need.
Addictions are a very intensive topic, but definitely giving support is the best thing you can do, in my opinion

Laura_tigger82

What amazing responses have already been provided! Such great words of wisdom. Also so uplifting to know we are in a community with such supportive and friendly people. Keep being you I think if I was in this situation, I would mainly provide a listening ear and one of my favourite quotes that "it will all be okay in the end, if it is not okay it is not the end" . I find the quote really comforting and reassuring in times of difficulty!

Former Member

Such lovely replies to this!

I'd love to echo indepndent's note, that addiction is an illness. It does not make you a bad person, it does not define you, and it is separate from who *you* are.

To support a friend, I'd really emphasise that I am a safe person with no judgement. I'd let them know I am somebody they can talk to openly without feeling ashamed. I'd be nothing but proud of them for opening up and admitting they needed support. Such a huge and wonderful step towards their recovery

AislingDM

Love everyone's thoughts on this And I think it really reflects how much society would benefit from changing horrible ideas of drug-dependent people to understand them to need support, not vilification! I also think a friend would benefit from a support network that actively acknowledges that addiction recovery is rarely a linear path, we usually do not 'stop doing' the addictive thing 'forever' there is usually a lot of wobbly time in the middle, and that is okay. I don't think it's fair to hold unrealistic and harsh expectations that addictive things can be 'quit' easily and quickly, so our support attempts need to reflect this too

Skive

Don't smoke.

That. Above everything else. I've done pretty much everydrug I could get my hands on and for the most part enjoyed every expreience, and never had problems with addiction. The one and only regret I have is smoking tobacco.

AislingDM

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences on this @Skive ! I'm really grateful to learn others' points of view I'm wondering if you'd feel okay sharing some more about how we might be able to convince friends/family not to smoke if we ourselves have done it/a common curiosity that a lot of people have about smoking, how can we try to prevent it before it begins? xxx

Skive

AislingDM wrote: »

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences on this @Skive ! I'm really grateful to learn others' points of view I'm wondering if you'd feel okay sharing some more about how we might be able to convince friends/family not to smoke if we ourselves have done it/a common curiosity that a lot of people have about smoking, how can we try to prevent it before it begins? xxx

I’m not particularly motivated to convince people to not to take any drug.
I’m am interested in making sure that accurate information is available to people so that they can make an informed decision on whether they want to try something.

With regards to tobacco, there’s a shed load of information out there already. Short if criminalising it, I’m not sure what else you could do

If I could go back and tell my younger self not to smoke, my younger self would tell me to fuck off. And quite right too.

Young people are risk takers by nature and they like to rebel. And good for them.
Better to be hedonistic when your young than at any other age.

AislingDM

Haha I really love the way you've put this!!! I get what you mean, like, it'd be the same for me, to go back and say 'just don't do it' would certainly not be effective for young me! I suppose, we just have to be prepared to be understanding towards our children, or any younger people we know/work with

AislingDM

I also forgot to mention something that others have talked about in terms of support. I think it's important to remember that the first time you broach the topic of addiction with a friend, they could feel like you're attacking them, regardless of how you word your worries and concerns, because confronting the emotions behind dependency can sometimes feel impossible. Given this, we have got to try to steel ourselves to be prepared to stick with our friends even if they become angry with us (within reason) initially

Former Member

Honestly what I'd say to my younger self is dont be afraid of going to the aa/na, noone walks into that place unless they are totally desperate what you quickly realise is the people there are just like you. From my experience as an addict the people who understand the pain the most are other addicts, and if you want to be in recovery the best people to learn from are those who already have done it, it's not for everyone though but it's free and theres not a waiting list so theres nothing to lose by at least giving it a shot

Former Member

It is very easy to normalise certain behaviours if people you know are doing it too but I used to go out every day, always with a different crowd and so although I came across drink and drugs on a daily basis, the people I know may have only done it once on a weekend for instance. I found removing myself from the party crowd and focusing on other hobbies has helped and I now I've met a healthy group of people and we bond over healthier interests.

Skive

Friendlyneighbour wrote: »

It is very easy to normalise certain behaviours if people you know are doing it too but I used to go out every day, always with a different crowd and so although I came across drink and drugs on a daily basis, the people I know may have only done it once on a weekend for instance. I found removing myself from the party crowd and focusing on other hobbies has helped and I now I've met a healthy group of people and we bond over healthier interests.

I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say I met almost all of my best mates through recreational use of drugs. Everybody I knew took drugs through my teens and twenties - as you say it was normalised.

It would have been extremely difficult for me to have removed myself from that scene without seriously compromising my social life - not that I ever wanted to - I had a bloody good time and regret very little.

I’m not sure of the value of the question ‘what would you tell your younger self’. The whole point in being young is to learn much of this stuff by yourself, and that includes taking certain risks.

AislingDM

I completely agree with everyone's sentiments about social circles being a huge influence on our behaviours. Just the other day I was at a small gathering and because no one else went to smoke I didn't even think of touching any cigarettes. This is not to suggest that this is how everyone's experiences will be, but it reinforces how the impact of drugs and alcohol reach far beyond the biological effect on our bodies, as we can actually begin to associate people and places with the good parts of using substances. It's always better to have as much information as possible