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My parents were so angry with me for not replying to their messages on time

Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
My parents were so angry with me for not replying to their messages on time. They do not know about my MH issues. If I tell them about it, they will not understand. I am now overwhelmed again and I know they will be angry with me if I miss something again. I did not manage to make breakfast. I don't know how I can start the day. I want to die.
Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 81 Budding Regular
    Hiya @Kate_20

    I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so low, so I'm sending hugs your way because you deserve it <3

    It sounds like you are in a tricky situation. I know how hard it can be to keep up contact with people when you are struggling. But although it's hard, having contact with other people can be a really positive thing which can help us to not feel so alone. So it might be a good idea to keep trying to respond to your parents as much as you can even if this is hard, because it might help you feel a bit better.

    The fact that your parents don't know about your MH issues must be so difficult. What makes you think they won't understand? Sometimes people can surprise us, so it might be good to give it a go and reach out to them. But if you don't feel comfortable doing this, I totally understand.

    Starting the day can be tough. Try to plan into your day something nice everyday that you can look forward to, even if that's just a walk in the park or watching your favourite TV show. It's important to be kind to yourself.

    I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with suicidal thoughts. The Mix has a great article on this topic and it has links to some important helplines like the Samaritans. I would really encourage you to use these because you are important and deserve to be listened to. https://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/suicide/how-do-i-cope-with-suicidal-thoughts-37568.html

    Sending hugs at this difficult time x
  • MaisyMaisy Deactivated Posts: 701 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey there,

    Really sorry to hear about your parents anger that you didn't respond to their messages. It's hard when dealing with mental health difficulties by yourself and easy to feel misunderstood. Like @Kat has mentioned above, I'm wondering why you feel they won't understand? Sometimes we think the worst of others when they might actually understand. Or even if they don't, you can try to help them understand, or at least get to a point where they won't be angry at you for not replying.

    It might help a bit to let your parents know how you have been feeling and struggling recently. Since they are unaware of this, then they may not know and may mistake you not replying as deliberately ignoring them or something. But it can help to clear the air and they might be understanding about it. Even if, worst case scenario, your parents are unwilling to understand, then you can be a bit gentler on yourself if they do get angry at you for something relating to your mental health. You know you struggle and you would've made your parents aware of this so if they are unwilling to understand, you also know that their anger is misplaced and that they shouldn't be getting angry at you.

    Sorry to hear that you weren't able to make breakfast. That can definitely impact the start of your day. I hope you've managed to eat something today though and despite the rocky start, that today gets a bit better for you <3
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  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    Kat wrote: »
    Hiya @Kate_20

    I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so low, so I'm sending hugs your way because you deserve it <3

    It sounds like you are in a tricky situation. I know how hard it can be to keep up contact with people when you are struggling. But although it's hard, having contact with other people can be a really positive thing which can help us to not feel so alone. So it might be a good idea to keep trying to respond to your parents as much as you can even if this is hard, because it might help you feel a bit better.

    The fact that your parents don't know about your MH issues must be so difficult. What makes you think they won't understand? Sometimes people can surprise us, so it might be good to give it a go and reach out to them. But if you don't feel comfortable doing this, I totally understand.

    Starting the day can be tough. Try to plan into your day something nice everyday that you can look forward to, even if that's just a walk in the park or watching your favourite TV show. It's important to be kind to yourself.

    I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with suicidal thoughts. The Mix has a great article on this topic and it has links to some important helplines like the Samaritans. I would really encourage you to use these because you are important and deserve to be listened to. https://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/suicide/how-do-i-cope-with-suicidal-thoughts-37568.html

    Sending hugs at this difficult time x

    @Kat Thanks. I am replying to their messages as much as I can. They discovered my self-harm when I was a teenager and were really angry with me. That is what is preventing me from telling them anything about my MH. I am trying to do new things every day. I really hope I can figure things out. I am sorry if my message is unclear. I cannot think clearly. My brain is not working now.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    Maisy wrote: »
    Hey there,

    Really sorry to hear about your parents anger that you didn't respond to their messages. It's hard when dealing with mental health difficulties by yourself and easy to feel misunderstood. Like @Kat has mentioned above, I'm wondering why you feel they won't understand? Sometimes we think the worst of others when they might actually understand. Or even if they don't, you can try to help them understand, or at least get to a point where they won't be angry at you for not replying.

    It might help a bit to let your parents know how you have been feeling and struggling recently. Since they are unaware of this, then they may not know and may mistake you not replying as deliberately ignoring them or something. But it can help to clear the air and they might be understanding about it. Even if, worst case scenario, your parents are unwilling to understand, then you can be a bit gentler on yourself if they do get angry at you for something relating to your mental health. You know you struggle and you would've made your parents aware of this so if they are unwilling to understand, you also know that their anger is misplaced and that they shouldn't be getting angry at you.

    Sorry to hear that you weren't able to make breakfast. That can definitely impact the start of your day. I hope you've managed to eat something today though and despite the rocky start, that today gets a bit better for you <3

    @Maisy Thanks. I am trying to get better. I did manage to get some work done today although very slowly. My brain is not working atm. Sorry if I appear unclear.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 81 Budding Regular
    Hiya @Kate_20
    It's great to hear that you are trying new things each day and trying your best to reply to their messages, that's really positive!
    You said that your parents were angry with you when they found out about your self-harm. I just wanted to say that there are probably many reasons for this reaction so please don't take it personally. Many people react in this way because they care very deeply about somebody. Most likely your parents want the best for you and when they found out about your self-harm they probably didn't know what to do to help you.
    Understandably their reaction has made you wary about talking to them about your mental health, but I believe it's always best to be open. After all your parents can't understand the situation or help you if they know nothing about what's going on for you.
    If you do feel like talking to your parents about your mental health it might be a good idea to give them some ideas about what they can do when you are having a tough time like just checking in with you through a phone call or giving you a hug. This might make your parents calmer because they feel like they can do something to help you but most importantly it would give you another layer of support for when you are feeling down.
    But I know it would be a massive step to open up to them, so don't feel pressured to do so. I just wanted you to know that your parent's anger, both because of the self-harm and the replying to messages, might just have been the case because they care about you.
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    Kat wrote: »
    Hiya @Kate_20
    It's great to hear that you are trying new things each day and trying your best to reply to their messages, that's really positive!
    You said that your parents were angry with you when they found out about your self-harm. I just wanted to say that there are probably many reasons for this reaction so please don't take it personally. Many people react in this way because they care very deeply about somebody. Most likely your parents want the best for you and when they found out about your self-harm they probably didn't know what to do to help you.
    Understandably their reaction has made you wary about talking to them about your mental health, but I believe it's always best to be open. After all your parents can't understand the situation or help you if they know nothing about what's going on for you.
    If you do feel like talking to your parents about your mental health it might be a good idea to give them some ideas about what they can do when you are having a tough time like just checking in with you through a phone call or giving you a hug. This might make your parents calmer because they feel like they can do something to help you but most importantly it would give you another layer of support for when you are feeling down.
    But I know it would be a massive step to open up to them, so don't feel pressured to do so. I just wanted you to know that your parent's anger, both because of the self-harm and the replying to messages, might just have been the case because they care about you.

    @Kat Thanks. I know they care deeply about me. It is likely that they just do not know how to express it properly/ I will try to talk to them when I am ready. Sometimes their reactions have not been helpful.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,060 Boards Champion
    Hey :) sorry to hear how you're feeling, I know it can be difficult to be responsive in your situation. Best thing to do is let them know that you're dealing with something so you need some space, but that you'll respond to them soon and that you'll be ok. Keep it short and to the point, so that the message is clear, and hopefully they respect that. Keep doing your best x
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    Azziman wrote: »
    Hey :) sorry to hear how you're feeling, I know it can be difficult to be responsive in your situation. Best thing to do is let them know that you're dealing with something so you need some space, but that you'll respond to them soon and that you'll be ok. Keep it short and to the point, so that the message is clear, and hopefully they respect that. Keep doing your best x

    @Azziman Thanks. It is great advice. I would always try to send them short messages.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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