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How can I change my eating patterns

Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
in Health & Wellbeing
My eating is really unhealthy as I always procrastinate and won't bother to cook my first meal until midnight. I also feel unmotivated to eat. I only eat out of the guilt of not eating enough for my body to function. I never have a set time of eating because it is never an important thing to me. I hate food since I was a child and wouldn't eat it unless it looks perfect (I always spend loads of time decorating my food because my life is boring). Now I feel like a failure again forcing myself to eat at an inappropriate time. I want to stop blaming myself for not taking care of myself at the age of 23 but really can't. I am really struggling :'( . How can I change my eating patterns?
Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    I can tell how much frustration and anxiety your relationship with meals and food is causing you. This is surely a really difficult and complex experience for you, especially because food is so present in our everyday lives. One positive thing here is that you are keen for things to change, despite how immensely tough this is for you. You deserve to have a healthy relationship with food and not feel strong guilt from eating/not eating. Given how much distress this is causing you, I think it's so cool that you've still chosen to come here for some advice :) I'm wondering, if there is ever a time where you feel neutral/happier about food? I think working from any point of neutrality or positivity could be useful for us today <3

    Also, if you feel up to it, I'll link the website Beat, which aims to support people to develop positive experiences with food and eating. I do hope this is okay:

    https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/

    Big hugs xx
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    StellalunaStellaluna Posts: 62 Boards Initiate
    Sorry to hear you are experiencing difficulties around food that have gone on for a long time (since childhood). It is great that you are reaching out for help.
    It is really positive that you are trying and have identified your feelings of guilt, blame and a lack of motivation around food.
    Have you chatted to anyone else, such as family or friends, about your feelings around food?
    As mentioned above, Beat have a telephone line if you wish to speak to someone or they have a web chat service if you prefer that.

    You are doing great. I wish you well. XX
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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @AislingDM Thanks for the info. I am not sure if I have an eating disorder though. I am underweight but I don't care about how I look like.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @Stellaluna Thank you for your kind words. No, I haven't talked about it with anyone yet.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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    StellalunaStellaluna Posts: 62 Boards Initiate
    @Kate_20 The charity Mind has a helpline and lots of information on their website about mental health in general. They have a section titled ‘Eating problems’ and explain how this differs to eating disorders. There may be many reasons behind the challenges faced around food.

    It appears there is a negative cycle of boredom and lack of motivation which leads to procrastination in the form of avoiding meals, which leads to guilt and a sense of failure. I wonder if this pattern then repeats daily, which makes it become more reinforced especially with self-blame? If this has gone on since childhood, then this negative cycle may have become deeply engrained and difficult to break out of.

    This feeling of it dating back to childhood possibly suggests something or multiple events happened during or after childhood. This may be affecting how you are feeling long-term. It may be helpful to explore the origin of these difficulties around food and why it must look perfect before being eaten.

    You mention you are underweight. Would it be possible to check this out with a GP to make sure there is not a physical reason for this?

    It’s very brave to share this with us.
    Warmly XX
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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    Stellaluna wrote: »
    @Kate_20 The charity Mind has a helpline and lots of information on their website about mental health in general. They have a section titled ‘Eating problems’ and explain how this differs to eating disorders. There may be many reasons behind the challenges faced around food.

    It appears there is a negative cycle of boredom and lack of motivation which leads to procrastination in the form of avoiding meals, which leads to guilt and a sense of failure. I wonder if this pattern then repeats daily, which makes it become more reinforced especially with self-blame? If this has gone on since childhood, then this negative cycle may have become deeply engrained and difficult to break out of.

    This feeling of it dating back to childhood possibly suggests something or multiple events happened during or after childhood. This may be affecting how you are feeling long-term. It may be helpful to explore the origin of these difficulties around food and why it must look perfect before being eaten.

    You mention you are underweight. Would it be possible to check this out with a GP to make sure there is not a physical reason for this?

    It’s very brave to share this with us.
    Warmly XX

    @Stellaluna I will have a look at the Mind website, it seems like the website changed and it is a bit confusing so I am not going on it as frequently. Thanks for analysing what might be going wrong with me. With regard to me being underweight, I was once sent to A&E to get physically checked when I hurt myself and I thought they discovered nothing otherwise they wouldn't be sending me home.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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    StellalunaStellaluna Posts: 62 Boards Initiate
    @Kate_20 Gosh A&E! How did that happen? Pleased everything was ok. It sounds like you've been through a lot. Big Hugs X
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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    Stellaluna wrote: »
    @Kate_20 Gosh A&E! How did that happen? Pleased everything was ok. It sounds like you've been through a lot. Big Hugs X

    @Stella It was because I was trying to off myself but yeah don't worry.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    Thanks so much for replying @Kate_20 ! I completely get what you're saying and I do apologise for implying that you have an eating disorder, @Stellaluna 's point about the difference between 'disorders' and 'challenges' is fab and I'm grateful for you posting about this <3

    How are you feeling at the minute, Kate? x
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    AislingDM wrote: »
    Thanks so much for replying @Kate_20 ! I completely get what you're saying and I do apologise for implying that you have an eating disorder, @Stellaluna 's point about the difference between 'disorders' and 'challenges' is fab and I'm grateful for you posting about this <3

    How are you feeling at the minute, Kate? x

    @Aisling I am not feeling okay and I do not know why. I still feel like there is no point in cooking
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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