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Running away from home to go uni

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 3 Newbie
edited March 27 in Work & Study
Idk which category exactly so I'll put it here. I am currently in year 12 going to year 13 and when we are discussing about university my parents dont want me to go because I am biologically a girl but I want to go. I am also a trans boy but I am forced to wear dresses and stuff and it causes dysphoria and makes me hate myself alot and also one of the reasons why I have slef harmed in the past. I want to go to university so my only option will be running away from home to do that but I dont know what to do about financial stuff and accomadations etc. Can someone help me and give advice?
Post edited by JustV on
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 3 Newbie
    Anch0r33 wrote: »
    I would personally apply to unis regardless and apply as an estranged student. Estranged just means going it alone without your parents support. It can also mean things like emotional breakdowns etc but that sounds like you fit that profile.

    Some unis may try and say that estranged only counts if you don't live with them. That's simply not true - make sure you research the unis and see what support they can offer for estranged students.

    The uni will be able to provide you with further support including year-round accomodation and discretionary funding.

    You may also be able to get part of your fees paid.

    Should I email the unis directly right now to ask or after I get a placement?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 69 Boards Initiate
    Hi Taz

    Thank you for sending this post in today - it sounds like you've been going through a really difficult time recently and I just want to reassure you that I and everyone else here at The Mix are here to help support you and offer the best options/advice to you :)

    I definitely agree with @Anch0r33 about applying to university as an estranged student. I personally believe that it would be a good idea emailing the universities about applying as an estranged student before they offer you a placement as they will be able to offer you advice on accommodation and housing etc, applying as an estranged student and will be able to signpost you to relevant articles and resources to help support you as well. It may also be something that you would like to discuss with the admissions officers when you attend a open day event for your chosen university? as they should be able to help support you and offer you the best advice for applying as an estranged student.

    Also, if you're thinking about moving home then my best advice for that would be too get a job so you can afford rent and can buy food and medicine, and so you can keep track of finances and money - a budgeting app which you can download on your phone would probably be a good idea too.

    Hope this helps you too.

    Am here for you and wishing you the best.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Obnoxiously Large Anchor Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    Should I email the unis directly right now to ask or after I get a placement?

    You may as well email now and get yourself known. Worst that happens is you get declined by the uni, but they won't be upset at you for contacting them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 7 Confirmed not a robot
    edited September 18
    Past User wrote: »
    Idk which category exactly so I'll put it here. I am currently in year 12 going to year 13 and when we are discussing about university my parents dont want me to go because I am biologically a girl but I want to go. I am also a trans boy but I am forced to wear dresses and stuff and it causes dysphoria and makes me hate myself alot and also one of the reasons why I have slef harmed in the past. I want to go to university so my only option will be running away from home to do that but I dont know what to do about financial stuff and accomadations etc. Can someone help me and give advice?

    i am in your EXACT same position. i tried to apply for the estranged student thing and apparently you need to have been away from your parents for at least 12 months. i would reccomend applying for the estranged students programme next year once you've done a year at uni so you can get some extra money to help you with your finances. meanwhile, im not sure if you've applied for accommodation yet but if you find out if you can still move out by the beginning of uni this year, please let me know as i need to figure out how to do this too.

    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 7 Confirmed not a robot
    edited September 18
    Past User wrote: »
    Idk which category exactly so I'll put it here. I am currently in year 12 going to year 13 and when we are discussing about university my parents dont want me to go because I am biologically a girl but I want to go. I am also a trans boy but I am forced to wear dresses and stuff and it causes dysphoria and makes me hate myself alot and also one of the reasons why I have slef harmed in the past. I want to go to university so my only option will be running away from home to do that but I dont know what to do about financial stuff and accomadations etc. Can someone help me and give advice?

    my instagram is [deleted] if you want to get in touch or figure out a plan :)
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    This is such a kind and compassionate response @ashhussain and it's especially beautiful to see you share such important pieces of advice to help support Taz <3 It must be immensely frustrating to be in such an awful predicament, especially when financial support systems do not take into consideration people who become estranged from their parents shortly after school / who will become estranged due to parents not accepting them. It's wonderful to see this kind of support to one another and I do hope things can start looking up for you soon! =)

    Just wanted to quickly mention that we tend not to reply to threads that are a bit older just because the original poster might not want to be reminded of a painful time in their life, or may not be active on here anymore :) Just thought I'd let you know, but once again your insightful advice is always appreciated <3 xxxx
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 7 Confirmed not a robot
    AislingDM wrote: »
    This is such a kind and compassionate response @ashhussain and it's especially beautiful to see you share such important pieces of advice to help support Taz <3 It must be immensely frustrating to be in such an awful predicament, especially when financial support systems do not take into consideration people who become estranged from their parents shortly after school / who will become estranged due to parents not accepting them. It's wonderful to see this kind of support to one another and I do hope things can start looking up for you soon! =)

    Just wanted to quickly mention that we tend not to reply to threads that are a bit older just because the original poster might not want to be reminded of a painful time in their life, or may not be active on here anymore :) Just thought I'd let you know, but once again your insightful advice is always appreciated <3 xxxx

    I'm so sorry, i wasnt aware as i had just found out about the mix, and this person is in the same year as me so i thought they might be in the same position as me at the moment. if i had found them last year it wouldve made more sense.
    But i am sorry for replying so late and possibly reminding them, that wasn't my intention.
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,303 Part of The Furniture
    We hear you @ashhussain. Welcome to The Mix's community. It is great to see you have joined us. @AislingDM's point is just something to keep in mind in the future if you can :)
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I don’t have much finical advice but please do what makes you happy. Be a boy & go to uni if that’s what you want. Don’t let them control your life or future
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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