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Hi Everyone! I'm Toby :)

TobyToby Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
Hi everyone!
I'm Toby, a 2nd year bachelor of science psychology student, and I've been asked to introduce myself a little!
I'm firstly a big advocate for open and Frank discussions about mental health, and emotions, and I hope to at least once a week post a "positivity" message that should hopefully help people see themselves in a new light, or not beat themselves up over small mistakes! I have been a number of helpful things in the past, such as prefect, and mental health ambassador in secondary, and I feel these are things that can help you all! I like to help people, and hate when people are upset. I look forward to getting to know everyone :) and feel free to message and chat!
An example of my most recent positivity message I have written is this:
We are not one singular aspect of our personality, we are a person made up of a larger and more complex matrix of aspects of ourselves. We are not and never will be one singular aspect of our personality, labels are good for identifying paint, but are absolutely awful for identifying a person. We are a sum of our experience and past and present. However we are not and should not be determined by our past, some things are inexcusable, and I will not be naming these incase it triggers anyone's past experiences, but to those of us with trauma, and that is literally everyone. You are more than that bad thing that happened to you.

You are absolutely more of a person than that one awful awful thing that may have occurred, and I hope you know that even though it may have happened and it likely has, is and will cause you physical or emotional pain, that it's okay to talk about it if you want. You are not annoying, petty, or any of those words, for being (rightfully so) upset by something, even if it's "minor" , if it hurt you, your feelings are valid . You are allowed to feel things. So don't you dare be like "Oh no I don't wanna annoy people" People would rather listen to you complain about something for the one millionth time than let you suffer in silence.
So all of you, be kinder to yourselves, because some of you are so critical of yourself "I'm a bad person or student" "I've done bad stuff" "i really don't deserve love"
Ignore these thoughts

You're not a bad person for feeling stuff, or for doing a thing you regret, if you are actively making amends and isn't something totally inexcusable. We have all messed up in the past, and we all will mess up in the future. There is no person on earth who is free of blame, or of sin. "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone"

Every single person has made a mistake they regret, that doesn't mean I am endorsing deplorable behaviour, but a mistake that isn't something completely inexcusable (and again I will not be naming these to not trigger anyone or in case I miss anything) should not define you. You shouldn't feel any less deserving of love, or happiness or anything because you've made a mistake. Literally every singular person on this earth bar non have messed up. Certain aspects of religion are concerned with forgiveness, so if you're religious forgive yourself, and if you are atheist or another denomination of this, you are also allowed to forgive yourselves.

You are a sum of all your parts and your past experiences, yes you have a traumatic past, but I can promise you, you are not based solely upon that one aspect of your life, you are a much larger person than that one thing that happened to you.
You aren't just a "survivor" or a "victim" you are a person. You should not be labelled as something based on one thing, the only label you should ever have, and the only label I will ever give you, is your name and your pronoun. That is it. You're more than one thing, you're a larger person than that singular thing.

So for your own sake this weekend take a break, do something for yourselves, be kind to yourself, because hey we all mess up, so make amends, better yourself, go to therapy, do something to help yourself, and those around you, but you are not a singular label, you're not your race, religion, sexual orientation, or your trauma. They are aspects of you yes, but you are not that one thing, you are not a singular thing, you are a person who has a past, and that's OK.
lovemimoon_Tech_Addict_GirlSalix_alba_2019isobelPast User


  • lovemimoonlovemimoon Community Champion Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    Hey @TobyS

    Welcome to the Mix!
    Thank you so much for the aspiring message! <3

    It's good to have you here. :3<3<3
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,715 Extreme Poster
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email [email protected] with questions or concerns.
  • Past UserPast User Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 0 Just got here
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    Welcome ❤️
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Lovely intro, welcome to The Mix @TobyS !
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,301 Skive's The Limit
    Welcome Toby! Love the positivity!
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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