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Heey @Past User The 'Hi little goose' just made my day!
That's interesting to read! Why would they mix and match them?
Two months it's been since I've started this!
I'm aware that this thread is an open discussion about anti-depressants but I also thought it would be cool to update my progress from here.
As @AislingDM suggested, I've been keeping a journal for the last two months.
July has been slightly easier to get through but there are some side effects persisting:
Trigger warning: mention of self-harm
In July...
A lot of my dreams have been vivid and it relates a lot of my anxieties, fears and traumas. Having to experience this in an abstract manner has left me feeling overwhelmed and agitated. My sleeping schedule is slightly improving but given the nature of my dreams, it's also been hectic. I'm experiencing certain hallucinations for a short period of time.
I've also noticed a pattern with my mood swings, noteworthy enough to call my GP about this and see if I can get reassessed. When I'm in my depressive state, I have this dull headache that lasts for a few days. It's a pain but it's manageable. I find myself slowly able to manage my negative emotions, in a way I would have struggled to do before and I'm kinda happy about that. There are still a few bumps along the way but it's all good. I feel like I'm dragging my body around through most days and sometimes, I feel as light as a feather. Even in those days, I still have enough energy to move around and do things adequately; something I've struggled to do a lot. My appetite's kinda messy and it's affecting my bowel movements, badly.
My focus is slowly improving but I'm having issues with my memory; I struggle to remember what I previously did (it takes a while before it comes back to me).
I believe there are more to this but it's the ones that have been common this month.
So long story short: July's been rough but it's tolerable.
I'm so glad I found this thread, because I can definitely contribute to this discussion 😂
I was put on antidepressants when I was 15 (which was a fight to get hold of them!) because I was so mentally unwell and my parents didn't know where to turn. I'd just been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, came out of a very abusive relationship, had isolated myself; it was a terrible time.
It took a while for the doctors to find a medication that worked positively for me- some made me jittery and anxious, but we finally found one that seemed to do good. I found that antidepressants really levelled me out- the highs were less high, but the lows were far less low. I was far more tired (needed at least 10 hours sleep a night) and I put on weight, but it was so worth it for just calming and slowing my brain down a bit.
But medication alone was pointless; it was the therapy with it that was the perfect combination.
7 years down the line now and I'm in a much happier place! I've been off my medication for about 3 months now, though coming off it was a very delicate process because I'd been on it for such a long time!😂 I've noticed that my sense of smell and taste and hearing all feel sharper than when I was on the medication, too!
So long story short, they are definitely helpful with helping your brain calm down a bit, but I think therapy is equally as important along side it to build those new cognitive paths
I hope this was helpful!
With hugs,
Meila
I'll keep everyone here updated when I call the GP.
To say it's frustrating is an understatement.
But I've been writing down my thoughts as well, just seeing what's been buzzing on my mind for the past few years, and the results are surprising. They seem random at first glance but there's pattern to it.
I just had my appointment with the GP.
I explained that the patterns I've recorded are something I've gone through for a very long time but it was hard for me to notice as it was drastic and abrupt. Relayed the information people have told me about my behaviour in the "happy" stage and the "sad" stage, and he asked about my experiences during the stages.
Afterwards, he told me that "happy" stage is something called hypomania or mania, and sometimes the side effects can worsen the episode. He asked if I wanted to change medication, and I refused. Whilst it seems like the side effects has elevated the manic episode(?), it's actually more manageable. As I mentioned before, my emotions have been muted/stifled. It's a pain but it's a blessing.
The doctor suggested to bring this up in the review with the psychiatrist and see where I can take it from there.
Thank you so much for sharing with us!
You've been through a lot and I'm so glad you're in a better place now!
Sending lots of hugs and support!
That is true! A combination of medication and talk therapy goes a long way!
You've been off your medication for three months now! What's it like living without antidepressants, compared to being on it?
Yes Ii have been through quite a lot!
I think my emotions have a lot more of a reign now- a freedom- kind of like a dog on a lead scenario!
It's so ironic that you speak about episodes of hypomania, that's exactly what I had!
Looking forward to following you on your journey!
I'm glad to hear that you've thought about the pros and cons of changing meds, sometimes whatever makes certain symptoms easier to manage is the way forward.
Thank you!
It has clarified my experiences, and gave me a new way to approach it.
It's just so stressful, all of this. It's like there's always one thing coming up after another and nothing seems to slow down these days.
I think so, but in an unfortunate way.
It's when I go emotionally numb or I guess, disassociate? I'm not exactly sure what terms to use here so correct me if I'm wrong.
I haven't found a healthy method to keep me at bay.
Since I've started fluoxetine.
Things have been...difficult? Overwhelming?
A lot has been happening since then and I've been going through a cycle of emotional crashes.
Needed to take some time off to figure out what the hell was going on at this point.
My sleep pattern's slowly improving but I'm still experiencing vivid usual dreams.
My appetite's going through an 'on and off' cycle, and it's slowly taking a toll on my health again.
I caught the flu (great timing) and there are various factors playing into this.
My social life's slowly getting back on track but I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with a lot of things. I'm still keeping track of the medical journey, and I have a separate journal for my emotions.
Some side effects are lingering:
Trigger warning: mention of self-harm
I didn't take fluoxetine and it was hell.