If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Post of the Month Voting!
Emma_
Community Manager Posts: 601 Incredible Poster
Thanks so much for your nominations for March and April POTM, some stellar posts in this mix!
Winner will be announced Friday 14th May , so get voting quick!
p.s. yes this is a repost, a post was forgotten before! If you voted before, please vote again
Here are the nominations! You can either click the links to the post or open the spoilers to read.
1. @Maisy reply to "Struggling to Maintain Meaningful Relationships"
2. @Anch0r33 thread "To those who hurt you - unsent letters"
3. @Skye thread "A lil positivity for those feeling down"
4. @AislingDM thread " Your go-to self care thingy?"
5. @independent_ reply to "My Mind"
6. @Zen reply on "Living Alone"
7. @Past User activity update
Secret Agents: you a good job 🕵️♀️
Winner will be announced Friday 14th May , so get voting quick!
p.s. yes this is a repost, a post was forgotten before! If you voted before, please vote again
Here are the nominations! You can either click the links to the post or open the spoilers to read.
1. @Maisy reply to "Struggling to Maintain Meaningful Relationships"
Hey @lovemimoon
From what you have said, it seems that you have strong and long-lasting emotions, which you find difficult to deal with, but also that you struggle with feelings of vulnerability when it comes to friends because you worry about the strength of your emotions.
That is a lot to be dealing with! But it’s good to know that you have 6 long time friends and a therapist that you talk to. I’m wondering what your therapist would make of the situation you are referring to with two of your friends?
Emotions are tricky because we can’t really control them as such, though we can take steps to help us deal with emotions in healthy ways. But otherwise it may be that we have to let our emotions run their course. However, while we might not necessarily be able to fully control how we feel or let alone how others behave towards us, we can learn to control how we react.
You mention that your moods can be persisting for weeks until you either blow up or break down. It’s clear that there are triggers that cause you to feel this way and a particular breaking point. But I’m wondering if you can think of how to prevent the situation from escalating into blowing up? It might be that opening up about how you feel to friends might prevent you from reaching breaking point. It can be difficult trying to communicate our inner most thoughts and feelings, so you might want to consider writing things down (you might also find writing things down helpful when you are trying to figure out how to talk about your feelings). Think about what you really want to say and what action you would like to happen to help prevent things from escalating emotionally. Then think about how your friends might react and prepare for how to deal with negative reactions. Ideally, your friends should listen to you and take your thoughts and feelings on board. Though this does depend on having friends who are understanding and accepting of you as a person.
Pushing people away may have the opposite affect. While you may feel that it is protective in the moment when you are experiencing strong emotions, it may have the unintended consequence of actually pushing friends away as they may not understand why you are withdrawing from them. You’ve explained yourself well here and I’m wondering if your friends know and understand about why you are scared to open up and why you push them away? It might help them to understand you more if they understand how you react to strong emotions.
You’re not a shitty person. I know that’s easy for me to say and hard for you to believe, but it’s the truth. People may surprise you by sticking around and getting to know the real you if you let them. Of course, some people might leave or hurt you, but not everyone will be like that.
It is okay to have some distance with friends at times though. Friendships can be difficult but we all need time to ourselves, especially if things are getting difficult and we feel we need to be alone while we try to figure out how to deal with the situation. The situation aside, I’m wondering how you feel about these 2 friends in particular? Would you say your friendship with them is generally good or not really? You’d stated that you created a situation and that you admit you were in the wrong, so if you do want to talk to these friends about how you feel, I’d say you were off to a good start. Taking responsibility can really help. But it’s also important to express how you feel as well- which is less about the situation and more about the comments. If you do want to talk to them about it, you can say what you have said here- that you understand where they are coming from, but the comments they have made have upset/angered (whatever you feel) about it. It might also be an idea to talk to your therapist about it and get her input.
And remember, whatever happens, The Mix is always here for you!
From what you have said, it seems that you have strong and long-lasting emotions, which you find difficult to deal with, but also that you struggle with feelings of vulnerability when it comes to friends because you worry about the strength of your emotions.
That is a lot to be dealing with! But it’s good to know that you have 6 long time friends and a therapist that you talk to. I’m wondering what your therapist would make of the situation you are referring to with two of your friends?
Emotions are tricky because we can’t really control them as such, though we can take steps to help us deal with emotions in healthy ways. But otherwise it may be that we have to let our emotions run their course. However, while we might not necessarily be able to fully control how we feel or let alone how others behave towards us, we can learn to control how we react.
You mention that your moods can be persisting for weeks until you either blow up or break down. It’s clear that there are triggers that cause you to feel this way and a particular breaking point. But I’m wondering if you can think of how to prevent the situation from escalating into blowing up? It might be that opening up about how you feel to friends might prevent you from reaching breaking point. It can be difficult trying to communicate our inner most thoughts and feelings, so you might want to consider writing things down (you might also find writing things down helpful when you are trying to figure out how to talk about your feelings). Think about what you really want to say and what action you would like to happen to help prevent things from escalating emotionally. Then think about how your friends might react and prepare for how to deal with negative reactions. Ideally, your friends should listen to you and take your thoughts and feelings on board. Though this does depend on having friends who are understanding and accepting of you as a person.
Pushing people away may have the opposite affect. While you may feel that it is protective in the moment when you are experiencing strong emotions, it may have the unintended consequence of actually pushing friends away as they may not understand why you are withdrawing from them. You’ve explained yourself well here and I’m wondering if your friends know and understand about why you are scared to open up and why you push them away? It might help them to understand you more if they understand how you react to strong emotions.
You’re not a shitty person. I know that’s easy for me to say and hard for you to believe, but it’s the truth. People may surprise you by sticking around and getting to know the real you if you let them. Of course, some people might leave or hurt you, but not everyone will be like that.
It is okay to have some distance with friends at times though. Friendships can be difficult but we all need time to ourselves, especially if things are getting difficult and we feel we need to be alone while we try to figure out how to deal with the situation. The situation aside, I’m wondering how you feel about these 2 friends in particular? Would you say your friendship with them is generally good or not really? You’d stated that you created a situation and that you admit you were in the wrong, so if you do want to talk to these friends about how you feel, I’d say you were off to a good start. Taking responsibility can really help. But it’s also important to express how you feel as well- which is less about the situation and more about the comments. If you do want to talk to them about it, you can say what you have said here- that you understand where they are coming from, but the comments they have made have upset/angered (whatever you feel) about it. It might also be an idea to talk to your therapist about it and get her input.
And remember, whatever happens, The Mix is always here for you!
2. @Anch0r33 thread "To those who hurt you - unsent letters"
Here's a space to write to the people who have hurt you. Feel free to anonymise your letters. Express yourself in any way you want, do it in multiple comments. Honestly let it all out. Once it's out there for others to see, hopefully you'll feel a weight off your chest.
You can write it in proper letter form or any other way you can think of doing it. Hopefully we can all encourage each other by using this space positively and supporting each other.
You can write it in proper letter form or any other way you can think of doing it. Hopefully we can all encourage each other by using this space positively and supporting each other.
3. @Skye thread "A lil positivity for those feeling down"
" gods envy us. They envy us because we are mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again."
To everyone out there, everyone who's reading this you are beautiful and strong and smart and lovable and kind and sweet and pretty. I'm happy that you exist and proud of you that you made it till here.
The past is gone and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as gentle present. Don't fret about past, don't worry about future. It'll work out when it supposed to.
We think we are made of number, percentage on tests, pounds on scale, likes on photo, price tags on cloths. But we are not. We are made of love and happiness and the way we laugh. We are made of good memories and late night and past curfews. We have more substances than numbers. Tbh life is too short to be embarrassed of little things. Wear the outfit your mom said was ugly and laugh your natural too loud laugh and talk to intimidating people you find interesting!!! Join cringy clubs and read books everyone hates !! If shit doesn't work out then who cares. People who are worth being around will stick by anyways.
If you think you are taking then here's a general rule if you ask yourself "am I faking this?" Then u are not. You are real.
If you think you are disappointing people remember to lead a happy life you have to disappoint some people a bit.
You owe the universe nothing. You exist on your own terms. The galaxy doesn't care that you messed up that one time.
Remember there are people who care about you even if you don't know them. I care about you. I'll grab your little face and scream, "on purpose, on purpose I'm gonna care about you". Be still. Breath. The world will continue to spin even if you are not pushing it.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that much happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.
So collapse.
Crumble.
This is not your destruction.
This is your birth.
To everyone out there, everyone who's reading this you are beautiful and strong and smart and lovable and kind and sweet and pretty. I'm happy that you exist and proud of you that you made it till here.
The past is gone and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as gentle present. Don't fret about past, don't worry about future. It'll work out when it supposed to.
We think we are made of number, percentage on tests, pounds on scale, likes on photo, price tags on cloths. But we are not. We are made of love and happiness and the way we laugh. We are made of good memories and late night and past curfews. We have more substances than numbers. Tbh life is too short to be embarrassed of little things. Wear the outfit your mom said was ugly and laugh your natural too loud laugh and talk to intimidating people you find interesting!!! Join cringy clubs and read books everyone hates !! If shit doesn't work out then who cares. People who are worth being around will stick by anyways.
If you think you are taking then here's a general rule if you ask yourself "am I faking this?" Then u are not. You are real.
If you think you are disappointing people remember to lead a happy life you have to disappoint some people a bit.
You owe the universe nothing. You exist on your own terms. The galaxy doesn't care that you messed up that one time.
Remember there are people who care about you even if you don't know them. I care about you. I'll grab your little face and scream, "on purpose, on purpose I'm gonna care about you". Be still. Breath. The world will continue to spin even if you are not pushing it.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that much happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.
So collapse.
Crumble.
This is not your destruction.
This is your birth.
4. @AislingDM thread " Your go-to self care thingy?"
I know 'self-care' as a phrase has become quite heavily co-opted by companies and other people trying to sell 'remedies' or 'quick fixes' for mental health needs, so I do hope this post does not come across as patronising or invalidating. However, I am wondering what everyone's favourite/most relaxing self-care activity is? It can be anything from classic things like having a bath or talking to a friend or less common things like writing yourself a permission slip.
5. @independent_ reply to "My Mind"
Hey Emoji,
I'm sorry to hear you've got a lot on your mind right now, I think it's understandable to feel worse when your bored because you've got more time to think about things and your mind isn't busy.
I don't have much advice for you but just wanted to say it's great you're opening up here and we're always here.
In terms of relationships you'll find the right person one day, it might take some time and there might be a few who aren't right for you, but eventually you'll find someone who is if you keep on looking!
I'm sorry to hear you've got a lot on your mind right now, I think it's understandable to feel worse when your bored because you've got more time to think about things and your mind isn't busy.
I don't have much advice for you but just wanted to say it's great you're opening up here and we're always here.
In terms of relationships you'll find the right person one day, it might take some time and there might be a few who aren't right for you, but eventually you'll find someone who is if you keep on looking!
6. @Zen reply on "Living Alone"
Hey @Willow!
It can be sooo frightening when you first move out! I'm living on my own at the moment and when I first moved out I was a bit like "well what now"
I agree with @Emma_ that there are so many good point about living alone; no one tells you what to do, you can have 'you' time whenever you want to, no one can judge you for have late night raves by yourself (I know I do it
)
A few tip I would have areee:
Get a calander that has EVERYTHING on it! Mines got a budget, bills, shopping list etc. They all seem like little things but I don't know what I'd do without it!
Meal plan! The hardest thing I found was deciding what to eat 3x a day everday, so I meal plan before I go shopping to make sure I get enough and it saves a lot of time!
Keep in contact with your friends! I moved to another county so I call my mam all the time and I video call my siblings, when I go home I make sure to see my family/friends in person too!
If you're going to a new city, go exploring! It helps make it feel more like home when you know the area!
Moving out can be tough at first but you'll settle in soon enough, keep us updated and we'll always be here with you!
It can be sooo frightening when you first move out! I'm living on my own at the moment and when I first moved out I was a bit like "well what now"
I agree with @Emma_ that there are so many good point about living alone; no one tells you what to do, you can have 'you' time whenever you want to, no one can judge you for have late night raves by yourself (I know I do it
)A few tip I would have areee:
Get a calander that has EVERYTHING on it! Mines got a budget, bills, shopping list etc. They all seem like little things but I don't know what I'd do without it!
Meal plan! The hardest thing I found was deciding what to eat 3x a day everday, so I meal plan before I go shopping to make sure I get enough and it saves a lot of time!
Keep in contact with your friends! I moved to another county so I call my mam all the time and I video call my siblings, when I go home I make sure to see my family/friends in person too!
If you're going to a new city, go exploring! It helps make it feel more like home when you know the area!
Moving out can be tough at first but you'll settle in soon enough, keep us updated and we'll always be here with you!
7. @Past User activity update
I'm a fruit loop
Post of the Month Voting! 12 votes
Maisy - Struggling to Maintain Meaningful Relationships
8%
1 vote
Anch0r33 - To those who hurt you - unsent letters
16%
2 votes
Skye - A lil positivity for those feeling down
41%
5 votes
AislingDM - Your go-to self care thingy?
0%
Independent_ - My mind
8%
1 vote
Zen - Living Alone
8%
1 vote
Laine - Activity Update
16%
2 votes
Post edited by TheMix on
0
Comments
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous