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Hot and cold with people

lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
in Sex & Relationships
Where to start?

It's hot and cold with everyone I meet.
I meet someone new, we get along.
You get too close and I'm gone.
I want friends but the closer they are,
the riskier it gets.

They start to see you.
Recognize you.
Familiarize themselves with you.
They see the flaws you carry.
They know you too well.
I don't trust you.

Then comes the conflicts,
the heartbreaks, the arguments.
The all-too-familiar fear kicks in
the intrusive thoughts, the uneasiness.
Back to Square 1 again:
I don't trust you.

I love you, my friend, but
I can't settle, knowing that one day
the flaws I carry will blind you.

Hello!
I'm trying to cope with the loss of two friends (Probably a whole group tbh) and I guess this is one way?
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Comments

  • MaisyMaisy Deactivated Posts: 701 Part of The Mix Family
    I can really relate to this, especially the first two stanzas. I think writing your thoughts down, in whatever way you want, can help you process your feelings when it comes to many things, including losing friends.

    I hope that one day you'll be able to look back and re-write this so that you have friends who stay with you when they see the real you and aware that you are hurting and not able to trust!
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  • lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    Thank you, @Maisy <3<3

    There's a lot I need to work on personally and I know that friends are there to support you but it's always a gamble. And I believe coming into new relationships with a mindset can be hurtful but it's what I'm used to.
  • SpaceOtterSpaceOtter Community Champion Posts: 890 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi loveminmoon, just wanted to say this is really beautiful written. It really struck a chord with me. I’m sorry you’re hurting right now, sending lots of hugs <3
    Always happy to listen if you ever need anything.
    You're awesome!
  • lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    Hi @SpaceOtter

    Thank you so much <3<3<3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 94 Budding Regular
    Hey I hope that things are better now and that you have a good solid group of friends right now and that you are no longer feeling this way. At the time you wrote this you were hurting and I know that hurt well, I have lost a number of friends but I also know that one day you find that one friend that loves you and will always stick by you. I say this because in your poem it seems that you had lost hope but I want you to know that there is still hope. There is a person for everyone and you won't walk this life alone forever. Sending you love and hugs from here
  • lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    @naomi - Hey! Welcome to the Mix <3

    Thank you so much. I hope you found a good companion! ^^
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