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Hot and cold with people

lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 251 The Mix Regular
Where to start?

It's hot and cold with everyone I meet.
I meet someone new, we get along.
You get too close and I'm gone.
I want friends but the closer they are,
the riskier it gets.

They start to see you.
Recognize you.
Familiarize themselves with you.
They see the flaws you carry.
They know you too well.
I don't trust you.

Then comes the conflicts,
the heartbreaks, the arguments.
The all-too-familiar fear kicks in
the intrusive thoughts, the uneasiness.
Back to Square 1 again:
I don't trust you.

I love you, my friend, but
I can't settle, knowing that one day
the flaws I carry will blind you.

I'm trying to cope with the loss of two friends (Probably a whole group tbh) and I guess this is one way?


  • MaisyMaisy The Mix convert CymruPosts: 346 Moderator
    I can really relate to this, especially the first two stanzas. I think writing your thoughts down, in whatever way you want, can help you process your feelings when it comes to many things, including losing friends.

    I hope that one day you'll be able to look back and re-write this so that you have friends who stay with you when they see the real you and aware that you are hurting and not able to trust!
  • lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 251 The Mix Regular
    Thank you, @Maisy <3<3

    There's a lot I need to work on personally and I know that friends are there to support you but it's always a gamble. And I believe coming into new relationships with a mindset can be hurtful but it's what I'm used to.
  • SpaceOtterSpaceOtter Posts: 13 Settling in
    Hi loveminmoon, just wanted to say this is really beautiful written. It really struck a chord with me. I’m sorry you’re hurting right now, sending lots of hugs <3
    Always happy to listen if you ever need anything.
  • lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 251 The Mix Regular
    Hi @SpaceOtter

    Thank you so much <3<3<3
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