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Pronoun?? Sexuality??

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 103 The Mix Convert
in Gender & Sexuality
So I have two questions.
(1) can a Cisgender use the pronoun they/them. I am a cis female and I go by she/her but can I not go by she/they? Is the pronoun they/them just for non-binary, trans and queer? There are famous female actress and singer that are cis but go by the she/they but someone told me that cis people using the they/them is chaotic so I should stick with she/her

(2) I've known that I am a heterosexual but I always find girls and non binary beautiful and attractive (NOT in a sexual way). I do like some girls and other gender as well romantically but sexually I just like males. So can I be heterosexual and panromantic at a same time?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Ex-Teenage Dirtbag Posts: 804 Part of The Mix Family
    You should use whatever pronouns make you feel comfortable. Whatever pronouns you look at and feel like you identify with.

    I'm not sure about simultaneous heterosexuality and panromance cause I've never experienced something like that but just remember not to question how you feel, even if something doesn't make sense to you your feelings are always valid, and they're always possible because you yourself are feeling them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Pretty much echoing what Apollo has said, you can use whatever pronouns you identify with and make you comfortable. In terms of sexuality, in my opinion we’re all on a beautiful spectrum and lots of us don’t strictly identity with one label. So yes, I think with sexuality you can be more than 1 thing, no one else can really judge /comment on how you feel, if it’s real to you then it’s possible 💜
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    Totally agree with what has been said. Labels and pronouns can be really important to each person and knowing 'how to describe' who you are can be great! People in the LGBT+ community regularly talk about how we shouldn't equate pronouns and gender anyway so defo agree that you should use whatever works for you. Plus I know that in other languages some of the words are completely gender neutral so using a 'they/them' equivalent is standard for everyone. I'm glad to hear that you're so open to talking about and exploring your identity @skye <3
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  • lovemimoonlovemimoon Posts: 2,318 Boards Champion
    Hiya @Skye

    If you are a cis-woman, and you identify with 'she/they', 'them/they' pronouns then go for it. I understand why that person said to stick with the 'she/her' pronouns but at the end of the day, that's your identity. That's your expression. There are no rules to gender identity. Just labels that help you describe who you are, like @AislingDM said!

    In terms of your sexuality, you can be more than one - take it from a bi sister. :joy::joy:
    On a serious note, sexuality is fluid! It can be a difficult journey cos you're always questioning yourself - especially when there are wider options out there (Did not know what panromantic was until this post!).
    You can identify as a heterosexual panromantic (already has a nice ring to it!) as long as you are comfortable with it! <3
    There's no definite answer to sexuality! <3

    Another thing - if you identify as a heterosexual but have romantic feelings for other genders then it doesn't make you any less straight! Pointing this out cos I recently found out about this... Super Straight movement(?) on TikTok (I don't have Tik Tok nor do I fully understand the concept of super straight) it's been causing a huge rift sooo, yeah. <3<3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Hey there also jumping in!

    1. Yes you can use they pronouns! Pronouns are for anyone no matter how they identify, if you're happy with a certain one you can absolutely :)

    2. Sexual and romantic attraction is different, yes you can be panro het, lots of people have different romantic attractions
    Like biromantic homosexual, the list goes on!

    You identify however makes you comfortable ❤️
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    edited September 18
    I think @Past User has hit the nail on the head with 'you identify however makes you comfortable' :smile:

    Whatever feels right for YOU is what matters. A close friend of mine is cis female and goes by she/they. It's totally fine! :heart:

    In terms of your sexuality, you also don't have to label anything if you don't want to. You can like who you like, and in any way that feels right for you, and that's perfectly okay. Of course, sometimes people would prefer to have a label and that's perfectly okay too. If that's the case, I think it's great that you've reached out about it here and I hope that the previous comments have given you some clarity :smile:

    You are amazing, exactly the way you are :heart:
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    love all these responses everyone <3 I also think it's simply wonderful that you're open to exploring/talking about pronouns and sexuality at all @Skye because it's defo something we should try to talk about more in this life :)
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