Might be a TW⚠️

Former Member

Hi Guys 
Before I start I just want to let you all know if you don’t want to be triggered this probably isn’t going to be nice to read also feel free to ignore if you don’t want to feel overwhelmed 🥺

So as some of you know what happened about last night I felt really rubbish and to be honest I still feel the same it just feels like I’m worthless pathetic what I’m trying to say is I don’t think I deserve the people I have now I don’t deserve anyone and I deserved the pain on my arm last night.
last night I kept thinking I wasn’t worth living anymore everything just goes wrong I mess things up with people a lot. I just had enough and I’m fed up of everything I annoy everyone every time I lose friends I ruin things so much and I’m so selfish to people 🥺
The only reason why I didn’t kill myself is because I thought if I did that I wouldn’t be able to see the people I care about or speak to.
Just to let you guys know I am definitely not looking for sympathy I genuinely  feel rubbish then I have been before
Every morning now I actually feel so tired of everything 😓.
I’m really sorry if any of you got triggered yesterday from my posts ❤️🥺

Siena

@Emoji246

You have nothing to be sorry for we are here to support each other. You’re lovely and are very supportive to people. You do not deserve to be in pain. 

I am very glad you’re still here Emoji246 and many others will be too cause we like having you here and those other people care about you too. 

I know you don’t want sympathy. I hate sympathy too sounds likes it pity.  But I’ll give you some empathy which is different. Sometimes I fee so awful and no one understands how awful I feel and sometimes I just want someone to believe how bad this feeling is as it feels Unbelievably bad sometimes. So basically I just want to say I empathise with you and here you it’s horrible

Past User

Hey Alina you’re an amazing person and we all care about you. You’ve helped so many people here, we’re always here if you ever need anything 

You certainly don’t deserve pain and I wish I could take away all the hurt. I wish you could see that you deserve nothing but kindness and support. 

When I get overwhelmed with negative thoughts talking here always helps, it helps me see clearer and learn to be kinder to myself. So keep reaching out and talking to us, we’ll always be here for you. Big hugs Alina. 

Former Member

@Shaunie @SpaceOtter Thankyou guys for your nice words I’m here for you both if you need anything 🥺❤️

Former Member

@Emoji246 Hey Alina, you don't need to apologize to us, I promise. I'm really sorry you feel this way and we worry about you alot.

You've been amazing to this community and you're very kind and caring and we really care about you. I hope your arm is ok now and that you are ok. Always remember that you're never alone. ❤️❤️

Former Member

😔

Past User

We're here and we care about you so much Emoji. Would you like to share what's on your mind tonight?

Sending huge hugs your way!

independent_

Hey Emoji I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been feeling so low, here if you want to chat

Former Member

@Liam I hate night time 😭

Past User

I'm hearing you pal. Is there a reason that you hate night time? @Emoji246

Former Member

@Liam I can’t sleep I think I’m going to die in my sleep 

Past User

That sounds awfully terrifying.  I think I'd hate night time if I had that fear too! What's making you fear dying in your sleep?

Siena

Do you know what brought on that fear @Emoji246 ?

Past User

Hey Alina big hugs, here if you need anything.

 I hate night time it often leaves me trapped with my thoughts. It might not help but here’s some things I’ve tried in the past to help settle my mind
- listening to podcasts (a wonderful recommendation from some of the lovely users here)
-making bracelets (the ones you plait out of wool or string, there’s some good YouTube videos on how to make different styles)
-watching films I used to love when I was younger (Disney films are especially comforting)
-talking to a friend, or simply sending each other gifs or memes 
-writing stories (they’re the cheesiest  things you’ll ever read but they’ve helped me a lot)
-reading books 
-watching uplifting videos on YouTube (the channel random acts of kindness is really good)
-or talking to childline or Shout
-writing things out here.

Here if you ever need anything, big hugs. We all care about you Alina you’re a beautiful soul and we’re incredibly lucky to have you here. 

Former Member

@Liam  @Shaunie I don’t really know why I started thinking it it’s really annoying 🥺

Former Member

@SpaceOtter Thankyou for that❤️

Past User

@Emoji246 It sounds intense, perhaps you'd benefit from sharing it with someone like mam or your gp perhaps so they can help figure out what caused such a scary thought?

Alternatively, When i'm feeling stressed at night i like to listen to some sleep meditations on youtube. Sends me right off to sleep with a clear mind  

Former Member

@Liam I don’t tell my mom these things because she never understands but I’ve told my gp 

Siena

I know the doctor said they would refer you to somewhere else - have you heard anything about that or know where referred you to? 

Former Member

@Shaunie I still haven’t had the phone call yet and I think I’m still on the waiting list he said he will refer me to the mental health team.

Siena

Emoji246 said:

@Shaunie I still haven’t had the phone call yet and I think I’m still on the waiting list he said he will refer me to the mental health team.

Oh that’s good! How do you feel about that?

independent_

I’m really glad you’re being referred to the mental health team Alina, it sounds like you’re having a really hard time right now. 

In my experience, the mental health team phoned me around 2 or 3 weeks after I was referred, to assess me. So if yours is anything like mine, you should hear from them in some way relatively soon  

Former Member

@Shaunie I feel ok about but I feel so fed up when it gets to night time now I dread it 
@independent_Yes I hope it’s going to be anytime soon because I can’t keep not sleeping properly also ages ago I phoned pause for help before but the lady wasn’t very helpful 😔

Siena

I hope it’s soon too! Did the docto give any advice on what you can do to help in the meantime? 

Former Member

@Shaunie No not really he just asked me are you eating well like all of them questions and then he said ok I’m going to refer you to the mental health team.

Siena

Ah I see. Have you tried mindfulness ?

Former Member

 @Shaunie Yes the only thing that really helps at the moment is music ❤️

Siena

Aw that’s a good distraction!  How was your day in general today? I hope was better than yesterday 

Former Member

Well I felt a little bit better when it was during the day  it’s just mainly at night when it’s really late and I can’t get to sleep properly then I get fed up ❤️.How’s your headache @Shaunie

Siena

Aw yeah. So frustrating:( and still bad but a bit better thanks

Former Member

I’m really fed up 😔