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How to not be affected by other people talking about exercise

itsquietuptownitsquietuptown Posts: 36 Boards Initiate
in Health & Wellbeing
I find it really hard when other people talk about the exercise they do and I really struggle to shut down the negative thoughts that come when they do. I feel like I’m inadequate if I haven’t done more than them, and there are also a couple of people in my life who do a lot of exercise and intermittent fast, and talk about it a lot. I feel like I have to do more than everyone else and eat less than them, and every time someone talks about having gone for a run or whatever I immediately think that I need to stop eating and do as much exercise as possible. Logically I know that every body is different and has different needs in terms of food and movement, but that goes out of my head as soon as it’s in conversation and I just feel like I’ll never be good enough.
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Comments

  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,103 Boards Champion
    Hey :)

    Ask yourself why you feel you need to outdo everyone on exercise and diet? It's not a competition or race - as you say, everyone has different needs, desires, emotions, so what works for someone doesn't work for another. I'd be concerned if you're focusing more on what others are doing on exercise and diet than what you're doing, since this is a part of self-improvement. People work together to achieve goals. If there's a feeling of inadequacy, it's a good idea to explore where this comes from, and why you feel this way - it could be affecting other areas of your life too x

    Much love <3
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Obnoxiously Large Anchor Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    Sending hugs your way. 

    I know I talk about it a lot because it's something I'm proud of. I'm successful within my sports and I like sharing that with others. 

    However I can see why and how it can affect you which isn't good at all. 

    I'm not sure if you could find a substitute instead of exercise - art? Reading etc! If you're able to have something which replaced that, maybe it would help you to keep going strong when you hear something which is hard to hear. You can say to yourself "you've got your exercise but I've got my _______ and that's great for me and what I need". 

    It's inevitable to have people talking about things they're proud of, and I've never thought that it could affect others negatively by sharing my achievements. I apologise if any of my stuff has been difficult for you to read. 

    It would definitely be good to start by finding something to make you proud of yourself. You might feel less like you need to do more than others because you do something better than them. What do you think? 

    Everyone's good at different things and everyone has different limits and I know it's hard not to judge and compare yourself (I do it with my teammates as well) but it's important to remember that you're no less a person just because you do less than someone else. If I did some of the runs that my teammates did I would quite literally collapse and become unwell. 

    You gotta find what's right for you, what makes you happy and what makes you feel proud of yourself :) 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Heyy. I totally understand this feeling. It really does feel draining. My dad brought me a new watch that shows my steps and it had a target that people should reach within a day and I keep not reaching it cause yeah I’m just in bed and too tired to move and it’s been making me feel awful cause way off it. But I just keep thinking everyone is different. Which is a thought but i understand it’s hard to get yourself to feel it too. Comparrasion is one of the most harmful things we do to ourselves 
    I agree with anchor you can focus on what other things you are good at. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    @itsquietuptown I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with this and just know that your are not alone. You are your own person and everyone is different, as you know, so everybody has a different relationship with exercise and that is completely fine! It may be helpful to differentiate between the thoughts you are having and the thoughts your ed has. Just know that you are so much more than an exercise achievement, I hope you know that. I completely understand how confusing it must be that you know what is logical but still feel like this and that is okay. It may be helpful to let people know to not bring up any triggering topics, even though it may feel difficult. It may even be worth trying to change the subject of the conversation or just saying 'can we talk about something else please?'. I hope you can get over this and remember that you are not your ed, you are not a number. Stay safe.
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