tackling behavior

ellie2000

how do u tackle failure, how do u get voices out of ur head thts insulting u putting u down. ppls words towards me b4 lockdown make me insult myself for days after, y?

tips 4 wen i face challenging situations?

Past User

Hi Ellie 
I try to write them out and then tear up the paper. A piece of advice someone gave me was to write out three positives about myself  every  night before I go to sleep. 

Talking through the thoughts too can help, we’re always happy to listen. Is there anyone you feel like you can talk to a family member, friend or councillor?

This is super cheesy but a quote that helps me is “why do we fall? So we can pick ourselves back up again”. Our mistakes or failures don’t define who we are, life is about trying to move on from them and grow, but you’re never alone. Always happy to listen 

Former Member

Hi Ellie

I agree with the above advice, so I would love to echo that! 

Failure is tricky, but it can also lead to your biggest periods of growth. I like to focus on that positive, and try and pick out any lessons learnt, to see it in a better light

ellie2000

i just run away, wen i get insults thrown at me, its little things. wat do i do, i cant get away frm the person, wen its normal living. im happy atm i got cats, mum and 'Don Rosa' graphic novels. how do i work out wat lessons there r

ellie2000

and i learnt wen he uses the c word its scotish, eh? 

hes a scotsman haha

boa

Hi Ellie,

They say that challenging situations and failing can lead to biggest growth in a person. If you want to achieve something, failing is a necessary part of the journey as you can learn a lot from failing. Even the most successful people have been through a long string of failures before they got where they are.

In terms of getting voices out of your head, I’ve recently discovered one approach that works for me. I try to meditate, or just listen to meditations before bed and through that I am learning to focus on being in the moment. By which I mean steering the attention from the voices in my head to where I am now. And even though that my thoughts still go wondering and I am doing only small steps, I feel I have a better control now.  For me it really works. 

I'm using this one:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.meditation.elevenminute&hl=en&gl=US

Former Member

I'm pleased to hear you are happy atm because you have cats, your mum and your graphic novels I'm wondering if these things can help you when you feel like you can't get away?

Most of the time, people don't realise the positive lessons they have learnt until a little while after, when you are able to reflect. So just practicing patience and trusting that you will realise some positive lessons later down the line can be really great
 

ellie2000

Wen I'm away from home there's no-one to fall back on wen I step outside myself, no comfort

Former Member

@ellie2000 it is so difficult to step outside of your comfort zone, but could it also be an opportunity to learn and grow- I know that can be very hard. 

I would echo what others have suggested; failure is not a bad thing- it is a way to learn. I ask three questions when things don't go quite how I thought they would- what did go well? what did not go so well? what would I do differently? We all make mistakes it is what makes us human but we can think what would we do differently next time. The end of the year is a reflective time- but you can also think what has gone well. 

Please know we are here if you need someone to fall back on. 

Azziman

Ask yourself, 'what can I learn from this?'. Just posing that question helps us to grow a huge amount, as we reflect on what we could do better and what we want to work on