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Freezing up and panicking
Dancer
Community Champion Posts: 8,105 Legendary Poster
Yesterday (4th December) it was a really hard day for me especially during my English lesson.
I kept on worrying about my mum as something happened to her on Thursday and I was worried that she was in a lot of pain or might end up in hospital. As a young carer, there is that extra worry about the person that you care for as you just want them to be safe and happy. My English teacher noticed that I was upset and struggling to focus. From the way that I was feeling, she knew that it was more than me being stuck on a task and that something was bothering me. She asked what happened and I told her about what happened to my mum and that it was worrying me. She allowed me to send a text to my mum and I got a reply later on which reassured me.
Later on in the lesson, my English teacher asked me to explain to 2 classmates who had been absent from previous lessons due to self isolation about what we had to do as they didn't understand and hadn't read the poem until that lesson. I tried to explain and then I just froze up, my chest was feeling tight and my heart was racing. I wanted to hide under the table and I couldn't find any words to say anything. It felt like I was having a panic attack but I didn't want anyone to notice because I didn't want to be a burden or concern anyone. The teacher noticed and she came over to me (socially distanced) and asked if I was okay and what happened. I told her and she understood and instead she just explained to the whole class about what to do. It was embarrassing that I just suddenly froze up and had a panic attack.
Not got any diagnosis of anxiety but my student support officer is aware that things have been going on to make me go panicky and it makes my chest go tight and affect my breathing so my student support officer has sent an email to staff to see if there are any teachers that have been through anxiety who could help me with coping mechanisms as I am showing signs of anxiety. Not sure what to think about it all.
I only feel able to trust 2 of my teachers (my English teacher and one of my dance teachers) because they understand me and don't pile a lot of pressure on to me but instead just encourage me to come out of my comfort zone. But I don't know what to do.
Sorry. It doesn't help that loads of thoughts race through my mind telling me that I am ugly, stupid, irrelevant, worthless and that I will never be as good as anyone else. I always want to be perfect but I freeze up very suddenly. My classmates think that I am rude and annoying when I don't talk to them. I want to feel able to talk to people but I can't find the words to talk about my mental health and I feel like everyone would just judge me and think of me as the weird person. Sorry if that came out in the wrong way.
I kept on worrying about my mum as something happened to her on Thursday and I was worried that she was in a lot of pain or might end up in hospital. As a young carer, there is that extra worry about the person that you care for as you just want them to be safe and happy. My English teacher noticed that I was upset and struggling to focus. From the way that I was feeling, she knew that it was more than me being stuck on a task and that something was bothering me. She asked what happened and I told her about what happened to my mum and that it was worrying me. She allowed me to send a text to my mum and I got a reply later on which reassured me.
Later on in the lesson, my English teacher asked me to explain to 2 classmates who had been absent from previous lessons due to self isolation about what we had to do as they didn't understand and hadn't read the poem until that lesson. I tried to explain and then I just froze up, my chest was feeling tight and my heart was racing. I wanted to hide under the table and I couldn't find any words to say anything. It felt like I was having a panic attack but I didn't want anyone to notice because I didn't want to be a burden or concern anyone. The teacher noticed and she came over to me (socially distanced) and asked if I was okay and what happened. I told her and she understood and instead she just explained to the whole class about what to do. It was embarrassing that I just suddenly froze up and had a panic attack.
Not got any diagnosis of anxiety but my student support officer is aware that things have been going on to make me go panicky and it makes my chest go tight and affect my breathing so my student support officer has sent an email to staff to see if there are any teachers that have been through anxiety who could help me with coping mechanisms as I am showing signs of anxiety. Not sure what to think about it all.
I only feel able to trust 2 of my teachers (my English teacher and one of my dance teachers) because they understand me and don't pile a lot of pressure on to me but instead just encourage me to come out of my comfort zone. But I don't know what to do.
Sorry. It doesn't help that loads of thoughts race through my mind telling me that I am ugly, stupid, irrelevant, worthless and that I will never be as good as anyone else. I always want to be perfect but I freeze up very suddenly. My classmates think that I am rude and annoying when I don't talk to them. I want to feel able to talk to people but I can't find the words to talk about my mental health and I feel like everyone would just judge me and think of me as the weird person. Sorry if that came out in the wrong way.
"There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
Post edited by Dancer on
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Comments
You mention about your mum and its great you care about her. I imagine as a YC that'd evenmoreso, what kind of things do you do as a young carerer?
Kasa you’re a beautiful soul and I hope one day you’ll see how amazing you are.
@Eleanor It depends on how much pain my mum is in but usually involves sorting out her medication, helping her to get dressed, changing any dressings that she might have and other stuff. Many young carers do different things and not all young carers help with physical aspects. Some are there to help younger siblings if the parent has an addiction. Some provide emotional support.
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
Sometimes when I can’t relax I find it helpful to write everything out and then listen to music as a distraction or read a good book. We’re here if you need anything Kasa.
What usually relaxes you before you go to sleep?
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
You mentioned about not being able to find the words to say how you're feeling. On here and in chat you do that pretty well so perhaps you could use something you have written down.
What kind of support do you have for being a young carer, does your father or siblings help out at all?
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous