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Stammering
Past User
Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
Hey guys!
A few weeks ago my English teacher asked me how best she could support me with my stammer. We ended up having a really long conversation about it, and I found out that she didn't know much about stammering at all. She's awesome and was really open to finding out more but the whole conversation got me thinking about stammering and the fact that it's not really spoken about much. So I just wanted to write this wee somethin' somethin' about stammering and how to support someone who stammers.
What is a stammer?
A stammer is a speech impediment which sometimes makes speaking incredibly difficult. Someone who stammers might repeat sounds (li li li liam), they might make sounds longer (llllllllliam) or their words might get blocked and no sound comes out at all. The severity of a stammer can differ from person to person, day to day, or sentence to sentence. Sometimes I can speak fluently for hours upon hours and then suddenly I'm stammering again or totally unable to speak.
People might stammer more when they're excited, tired, stressed out, feeling under pressure, self-conscious, or rushed. Talking on the phone can also be very difficult and therefore can cause a person to stammer more. Stammering isn't caused by stress or anxiety however stress and anxiety can make a stammer worse.
Can it be cured?
Sometimes stammers go away by themselves or with the help of speech therapy however, if stammering carries on into adulthood it's likely here to stay forever, although this is not always the case. There is no cure for stammering however there is therapy/counseling which can help people to accept their stammers and the acceptance will then hopefully help make talking a little easier.
How does stammering affect someone?
I can't speak for everyone however I can share from my own experience. For me, my stammer makes every day feel like an obstacle course. Is my stammer going to be bad today? Am I going to be able to hang around with and talk to my friends at lunch? Is my teacher going to make us read out loud? Am I going to embarrass myself? ... My stammer is my biggest insecurity and although it's not something I try to hide (i talk... like.. ALOT) it is something that I feel embarrassed about. I struggle at school, during registration, or whenever I'm asked to answer a question out loud. I struggle to tell people what I want and sometimes I find it difficult just to have normal conversations. It's sometimes hard to order meals or coffee, to talk on the phone, or even just using Siri/Alexa
What might be difficult for people who stammer?
How to talk to and support someone who stammers
Talking to someone who is stammering might feel uncomfortable but know that it's more uncomfortable for the stammering person. Try to be patient and listen as if you would to anyone else.
Hope this is a wee bit helpful for yous
"Those with a stammer have the unique opportunity to teach the world to listen"
A few weeks ago my English teacher asked me how best she could support me with my stammer. We ended up having a really long conversation about it, and I found out that she didn't know much about stammering at all. She's awesome and was really open to finding out more but the whole conversation got me thinking about stammering and the fact that it's not really spoken about much. So I just wanted to write this wee somethin' somethin' about stammering and how to support someone who stammers.
What is a stammer?
A stammer is a speech impediment which sometimes makes speaking incredibly difficult. Someone who stammers might repeat sounds (li li li liam), they might make sounds longer (llllllllliam) or their words might get blocked and no sound comes out at all. The severity of a stammer can differ from person to person, day to day, or sentence to sentence. Sometimes I can speak fluently for hours upon hours and then suddenly I'm stammering again or totally unable to speak.
People might stammer more when they're excited, tired, stressed out, feeling under pressure, self-conscious, or rushed. Talking on the phone can also be very difficult and therefore can cause a person to stammer more. Stammering isn't caused by stress or anxiety however stress and anxiety can make a stammer worse.
Can it be cured?
Sometimes stammers go away by themselves or with the help of speech therapy however, if stammering carries on into adulthood it's likely here to stay forever, although this is not always the case. There is no cure for stammering however there is therapy/counseling which can help people to accept their stammers and the acceptance will then hopefully help make talking a little easier.
How does stammering affect someone?
I can't speak for everyone however I can share from my own experience. For me, my stammer makes every day feel like an obstacle course. Is my stammer going to be bad today? Am I going to be able to hang around with and talk to my friends at lunch? Is my teacher going to make us read out loud? Am I going to embarrass myself? ... My stammer is my biggest insecurity and although it's not something I try to hide (i talk... like.. ALOT) it is something that I feel embarrassed about. I struggle at school, during registration, or whenever I'm asked to answer a question out loud. I struggle to tell people what I want and sometimes I find it difficult just to have normal conversations. It's sometimes hard to order meals or coffee, to talk on the phone, or even just using Siri/Alexa
What might be difficult for people who stammer?
- Meeting new people
- Introducing themselves
- Job interviews
- New environments
- Talking on the phone
- Talking when there's a queue behind them
- Making orders, restaurant, take away, coffee shop, bar, etc.
- Talking above background noise,
- Talking when others can overhear
- Going to parties or social events
- Zoom calls/meetings/facetime
- School registration
How to talk to and support someone who stammers
Talking to someone who is stammering might feel uncomfortable but know that it's more uncomfortable for the stammering person. Try to be patient and listen as if you would to anyone else.
- Try not to interrupt or talk over them
- Please don't guess or try to finish their sentences
- Try to avoid making jokes such as "Spit it out" or "Did you forget your name?"
- Focus on what the person is saying and not how they're saying it
- Try to keep eye contact
- Be patient
- Avoid advice, don't tell them to "slow down", "calm down", " don't be nervous", etc.
- Realize that talking over the phone might be difficult, sometimes texting is better
- If you phone someone who stammers and hear nothing straight away, give them time
- Ask them how/if you can make it easier for them
- Know that someone who stammers still know exactly what they want to say, they're just figuring out how best to say it.
- If you're in a group conversation with someone who you know stammers, ask if they'd like to speak and invite them into the conversation
Hope this is a wee bit helpful for yous
"Those with a stammer have the unique opportunity to teach the world to listen"
11
Comments
One lecturer would always finish my friends sentences for her, she made her words longer.
We could all do with being more patient and understanding in this world
Just wanted to say this thread is so lovely to start and I reckon it's going to help a lot of people.
I get this a lot @Past User .. my mam is always doing it and she usually gets what I want to say wrong lol
I didn't know much about this myself so it's been a really good read and taught me a lot!
@Maisy @independent_
❤️
when I speak I find that I get so caught up on fact of trying not to stammer that I completely forgot what I was going to say !
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous