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unsure if school is the right path

an0nan0n ScotlandPosts: 13 Settling in
So, I am currently in 5th year in Secondary School in Scotland, and i am supposed to be working towards my Highers. I have always hated school, and the find the whole school experience extremely overwhelming, as i suspect many people do, however it has gotten to the point where i no longer care about my education, and i have absolutely no motivation to try and gain any qualifications. I haven't been in school this week due to other issues, but i don't think school is the right path for me anymore, i am currently applying for a college course that begins in January of 2021, as part of my plan, however i feel as though if i leave school my teachers will be very disappointed, and so will my parents. I have spoken to my parents about leaving, and they say they will support me either way, but i get the feeling they want me staying in school. However i really don't want to look back on my past and regret making this decision. Any advice?
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  • MaisyMaisy The Mix convert CymruPosts: 316 Moderator

    Hey @an0n

     

    Even though school is compulsory, I agree that many people may simply feel that school just isn’t for them. Whether its socially, or to do with the types of teaching and learning styles or assessments, the curriculum itself, or for any other reason, many young people may just not be motivated for school.

     

    I’m just wondering why you feel school isn’t for you anymore? Is there anything about the school experience that could be changed for you? Or even going to a different school? Sometimes it may be less about education, and more about the environment you are in. This in turn may affect any future regret- it would be a shame to leave school, if you were going to do well in your Highers and then go onto university etc, especially if it was more the environment rather than the academics that were an issue for you.

     

    It’s good that you have applied for college as its better than simply dropping out without a plan. I’m also wondering whether you have ideas for what you’d like to do after education, in terms of careers/work or if you’d like to go to university? You can still go to university after college, if it’s something you’d like to do, but it may help to think long term regarding your career and to research your options so you’ll know which route is better for your career and also yourself too.

     

    Teachers and parents want what’s best for us. They may be a bit disappointed if you left school, but it sounds like your parents are supportive of you either way. What matters most is that you are happy with your decision. I’m wondering what you feel your regrets might be if you went to college instead of carried on at school? Would these regrets be more or less than the regrets you might have if you stayed in school? Maybe you could make a pros and cons list and see which option feels better to you? You won’t always be able to avoid regrets, but you can do what you feel is best for you at this time and know that you have made the best possible decision that you could <3


    an0n
  • an0nan0n ScotlandPosts: 13 Settling in
    Thanks for responding @Maisy

    School for me is really overwhelming emotionally, and the social aspect i find really difficult. The fact there is so many teenagers and people around constantly, and the fact you have to be there for six hours, and be expected to socialise with people is really difficult. Tests, essays, and exams are so anxiety inducing, which i know everyone experiences. I hate presenting and talking in class, which makes the classroom a really stressful place to be for so long.

    My parents mentioned moving school, but i think for me that would be even worse because i am really awful at making friends and talking to people, and i think that would panic me even more. I am not certain, but i think university after college could be an option for me. 

    With regards to my future regrets, i just worry that i might be disappointed in myself for leaving when i could have left in August, potentially with Highers. The pros and cons idea sounds like something i could try, maybe that could help with my decision. Yeah, i just feel that leaving school is the right decision for me mentally right now. Thank you for responding, and for your advice.  <3
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 854 Part of The Mix Family
    edited November 20
    Hey :) Maisy has covered some great points here, so lots of overlap.

    You're not alone in feeling this way - many kids feel this way too. Though I should say that with hindsight, those who decide to drop out end up feeling a huge amount of regret, as they find that doing so creates lots of barriers, especially in work. Those that stuck it through end up being happy with their choice - as Maisy says, it can often be the environment, rather than the school itself. But finding good friends and investing your time in learning can help you to live a much happier life in the long run.

    When you look around you right now, it can feel really overwhelming. It would be useful to talk to someone older than you, perhaps who's at uni/graduated and in work - chances are that they'll empathise with your situation. Thinking about our future can really help us to make the best decisions today, and talking to others helps to provide perspective when we're in a tough spotx
    an0n
  • an0nan0n ScotlandPosts: 13 Settling in
    Yeah the regret is what I'm worried about, I'm really stressed out right now, it feels like every decision I make has its consequences, whether I stay in school or go to college, and that I might look back and be disappointed in myself. The thought of going back to school right now seems unbearable, school is such a draining place emotionally, and I find every aspect of it really overwhelming, so I feel like I'm trapped with these two decisions. Thanks for all your support though, I appreciate it.
    errrin
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Crazy Rat Lady 🐀 Posts: 565 Incredible Poster
    The schooling system in Scotland was terrible for me (I was lucky enough to move abroad for my final 2 years of school) but I tried college and it was a lot less overwhelming. That might be an option. Uni is an option but is more stressful than college. 

    Don't worry about letting others down - just do what you gotta do for yourself and believe in your decisions and yourself. 

    You also don't have to do further education. You could look into working, or even apprenticeships which pay you to learn the trades/skills. 
    👁️👄👁️
    an0n
  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 5,355 Part of The Furniture
    I could have written this exact post a couple of years ago. I hated school, really hated it - it didn’t suit me at all from the age of about 14 and I just had no motivation for it either. I did manage to get 4 highers but I wanted to leave as soon as I could. So that’s what I did, I was 16 by the end of S5 and I left. But I felt exactly how you did, I was scared I was letting people down, and I still think I did let some people down. 

    I speak from experience when I say college is a much better environment. Further education is tough, but I really liked how they treated us all like adults and spoke to us like adults, rather than little children when we were in fact a lot more mature than that.

    I say don’t worry about what others think (I know it’s hard) and do what is best for you and what makes you happy. I absolutely do not regret my decision to leave school early and can’t imagine I ever will. School was a shitty place and I was glad to be out of there.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
    errrinAzzimanan0n
  • errrinerrrin Posts: 104 The Mix Convert
    Hey an0n everybody has given you some really amazing advice so far. I haven’t really got anything to add but I really relate to what you’re saying I felt like I needed to reply. I just wanted to say you’re not alone and we’re always happy to listen. 

    I strongly relate to what you’re going through right now. I know how difficult it is to decide on what to do because we never really know what the consequences of our actions are going to be. One thing that helps me is knowing that life changes all the time. The path we take when we’re younger isn’t the one have to stay on.
    We can change our path at anytime.

    I know people who dropped out of school and pursued a path they loved. And I know people who decided to go back to school later on and have enjoyed it. There’s no right way to do life, it’s about finding what is right for you and sometimes it can take trial and error. 

    I couldn’t agree with @independent_  more it’s definitely about doing what makes you happy. I know it’s hard but try not to think about the broad future and instead think what will help you feel better in the present. Find the route  you think will be best for your mental health and emotional.  :)

    I wish you luck and we’re always here if you ever need someone to talk to.  <3

    an0n
  • EleanorEleanor Living the Zen life 🧘🏼‍♀️ Posts: 1,563 Extreme Poster
    @an0n You're an amazing person! If you saw the comment that was posted above before it was removed please ignore it and know that you you're a wonderful person! <3 
    Alis propriis volat 
    Laine
  • an0nan0n ScotlandPosts: 13 Settling in
    Thanks so much guys for all your comments, like lots of you said, I think I need to try and make the decision based on how I feel now, and not how I might feel in the future. It won't be an easy decision, but most decisions aren't simple ones. Thanks guys! 
  • an0nan0n ScotlandPosts: 13 Settling in
    Hey @Eleanor

    Oh no, what did the comment say?
  • EleanorEleanor Living the Zen life 🧘🏼‍♀️ Posts: 1,563 Extreme Poster
    @an0n I can't remember what it said but there was a troll last night commenting on loads of posts so I just left a wee comment in case anyone read them, yours wasn't the only post they got! :) 
    Alis propriis volat 
    an0n
  • an0nan0n ScotlandPosts: 13 Settling in
    @Eleanor Okay, thanks for letting me know!
    Eleanor
  • JordanJordan Posts: 251 Super Moderator
    Sounds like you have received some superb advice @an0n so I don't think there is much I can add. Sorry if I missed it in your previous comments but do you have any idea what you want to do in the future? For example, after college/school would you like to go to uni? Or would you prefer to start to work? If so, do you know what industry?

    No pressure to reply if you don't know/aren't sure, I was just curious!

    Let us know if you need anymore advice about making your decision.
  • an0nan0n ScotlandPosts: 13 Settling in
    Hey @Jordan thanks for the response!

    After school or college I think I would go to uni, probably to study psychology, this could change though, so I'm not definitely sure. Thanks for the message.
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