If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Post of the Month - September!
Azziman
Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,065 Boards Champion
Hey everyone! 
Lots of you are back at school or university now, whether that's in person or online - these are extraordinary times we live in! But even as we all are told to social distance, it's important to keep our loved ones emotionally close - they can really be our rock through these tough times. The community here has been so supportive during these times, so thanks to everyone for making this such a welcoming place for new and existing members. Do make sure to nominate great threads and replies so we can keep celebrating the wonderful people that make this possible. With that being said, let's get into POTM!
What is Post of the Month?
For those of you who aren't familiar with Post of the Month, each month you can nominate threads and replies you've seen on the boards. We then put up a poll and the reply with the most votes wins Post of the Month.
You can nominate a post by flagging it, selecting Report, and then choosing 'Post of the Month nomination' as the reason. It can really make someone's day to know that their comment was so appreciated that they're considered for this, so if you see a post that was particularly helpful, inspiring, moving etc., be sure to nominate it and spread that love around!
Before we share the nominations for this vote, we again want to acknowledge how brave each and every one of you is for reaching out for support. This takes so much courage and we're so proud of you all - this place wouldn't be the same with you
The Nominees!
Congratulations @Eleanor and @Anch0r33 for winning nominations this month - great work both!
1. Eleanor - Supporting a Friend in Need!
Hey @Maisy!
First and foremost, I would like to say a big thank you on behalf of the community for all the volunteering you do here on the boards. We really do appreciate the time you spend making sure this community is a safe and well-running space for everyone
Secondly, I feel like I want to reply to your post with out any 'label's (e.g. autism) and I want to connect with you as what you are at your core... a person! I think sometimes whilst these labels can be useful in finding the right help should someone need it, it is also important to address people and people!
You mention about your friend's life continuing whilst yours has come to a hault and my advice on this would be not to compare your life with others! You said yourself at the start of your post that you had a tough childhood and it is important to consider that that is part of your journey! I myself had some struggles in my childhood - I grew up with an abusive parent and that really damaged me mentally. I had to take the time to build my emotional strength up and to show my anxiety disorder who is boss and whilst I was doing this, all my friends got to continue whatever they were doing. But, I had not done this, I would never had gotten any better and I would still be in the place I was back then! So sometimes taking a break and slowing down is actually really beneficial, especially if you're fighting a battle others cannot see.
It sounds as though you have lost a lot of people in your life which would be incredibly hard for anyone, just opening up about it here is a huge step which takes an immense amount of bravery! People often underestimate the effect that loss can gave on a person - it really makes you think about how you interact with the people you have around you. But I don't think this is always a bad thing to think about interactions! I always think that loosing someone makes me reconsider my relationships; am I taking someone for granted? Am I showing my appreciation for this person? And I think that, as long as you think you are doing what is best, then that is all you can do! If this is a concern of yours then perhaps it's worth talking it through with your friends - a conversation can go a long way! They may also be able to highlight whether these believes your having are true or if maybe you're being a bit tough on yourself?
When it seems that you are loosing the people around you, whether that be through loss of friendships for through death, it is easy to fee like you are loose loose loosing everything but it is important to find something that you can hold on to. In a world full of uncertainties, be that rock you can hold on to! Take care of yourself so that when the world around you seems as though is crumbling, you still stand tall! Don't be defined by your experiences, instead make the journey count!
I really hope this helps you The whole community is behind you here and we are all rooting for you
Eleanor
First and foremost, I would like to say a big thank you on behalf of the community for all the volunteering you do here on the boards. We really do appreciate the time you spend making sure this community is a safe and well-running space for everyone
Secondly, I feel like I want to reply to your post with out any 'label's (e.g. autism) and I want to connect with you as what you are at your core... a person! I think sometimes whilst these labels can be useful in finding the right help should someone need it, it is also important to address people and people!
You mention about your friend's life continuing whilst yours has come to a hault and my advice on this would be not to compare your life with others! You said yourself at the start of your post that you had a tough childhood and it is important to consider that that is part of your journey! I myself had some struggles in my childhood - I grew up with an abusive parent and that really damaged me mentally. I had to take the time to build my emotional strength up and to show my anxiety disorder who is boss and whilst I was doing this, all my friends got to continue whatever they were doing. But, I had not done this, I would never had gotten any better and I would still be in the place I was back then! So sometimes taking a break and slowing down is actually really beneficial, especially if you're fighting a battle others cannot see.
It sounds as though you have lost a lot of people in your life which would be incredibly hard for anyone, just opening up about it here is a huge step which takes an immense amount of bravery! People often underestimate the effect that loss can gave on a person - it really makes you think about how you interact with the people you have around you. But I don't think this is always a bad thing to think about interactions! I always think that loosing someone makes me reconsider my relationships; am I taking someone for granted? Am I showing my appreciation for this person? And I think that, as long as you think you are doing what is best, then that is all you can do! If this is a concern of yours then perhaps it's worth talking it through with your friends - a conversation can go a long way! They may also be able to highlight whether these believes your having are true or if maybe you're being a bit tough on yourself?
When it seems that you are loosing the people around you, whether that be through loss of friendships for through death, it is easy to fee like you are loose loose loosing everything but it is important to find something that you can hold on to. In a world full of uncertainties, be that rock you can hold on to! Take care of yourself so that when the world around you seems as though is crumbling, you still stand tall! Don't be defined by your experiences, instead make the journey count!
I really hope this helps you
The whole community is behind you here and we are all rooting for you Eleanor
2. Anch0r33 - Experience with Anxiety
My mental health has been the best it's been in years since this lockdown.
I have alopecia and trichotillomania due to stress, I haven't had hair in 6/7 years and over this lockdown period it's grown back in the space of a few weeks.
I'm looking forward to getting back to uni but I've definitely enjoyed this break.
I do have social anxiety and struggle to talk in front of my class and being in crowded spaces.
I've also moved out from my kinship care with my grandparents to living with my bf so that's possibly helped, but it meant I couldn't get emotionally roped into visiting my family when I didn't want to. Overall it's just been so much better for me.
I have alopecia and trichotillomania due to stress, I haven't had hair in 6/7 years and over this lockdown period it's grown back in the space of a few weeks.
I'm looking forward to getting back to uni but I've definitely enjoyed this break.
I do have social anxiety and struggle to talk in front of my class and being in crowded spaces.
I've also moved out from my kinship care with my grandparents to living with my bf so that's possibly helped, but it meant I couldn't get emotionally roped into visiting my family when I didn't want to. Overall it's just been so much better for me.
3. Anch0r33 (again!) - Dealing with Parents
Hey there @"Past User" I hear you. This is a tough situation for you. I also understand you. I went through a similar situation. I'm still kind of going through it.
I got taken off my mum as a young teenager and lived with my grandparents. My mum is toxic and it took me a while to realise that. It's fantastic you can recognise that your parents are toxic, because that really is an important factor to getting the help you need.
I'm not sure if you're a student but if so it's worth looking for the support they give to estranged students. If you're unfamiliar with estrangement it's essentially when you have no emotional support or no financial support from your parents, or both. I was able to get a discretionary fund that directly covered accommodation costs at my uni so I had my own space. It's definitely worth looking into that. If you classify yourself as estranged (which you can do while living with them! Emotional estrangement is a thing!) You can get far more support from any educational institutions and even the government I believe.
It is an emotionally hard thing to do, I've been unable to cut my mum out of my life (something I've wanted to do for a while) but I now live with my boyfriend and his family and I heavily control any contact I have with my mum. I'm not interested in losing my grandparents so I keep contact with my mum.
I hope this somewhat helps and if you need anymore help I'm always here for a chat
I got taken off my mum as a young teenager and lived with my grandparents. My mum is toxic and it took me a while to realise that. It's fantastic you can recognise that your parents are toxic, because that really is an important factor to getting the help you need.
I'm not sure if you're a student but if so it's worth looking for the support they give to estranged students. If you're unfamiliar with estrangement it's essentially when you have no emotional support or no financial support from your parents, or both. I was able to get a discretionary fund that directly covered accommodation costs at my uni so I had my own space. It's definitely worth looking into that. If you classify yourself as estranged (which you can do while living with them! Emotional estrangement is a thing!) You can get far more support from any educational institutions and even the government I believe.
It is an emotionally hard thing to do, I've been unable to cut my mum out of my life (something I've wanted to do for a while) but I now live with my boyfriend and his family and I heavily control any contact I have with my mum. I'm not interested in losing my grandparents so I keep contact with my mum.
I hope this somewhat helps and if you need anymore help I'm always here for a chat
Get voting!
~ Azziman
FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
Post of the Month - September! 10 votes
Eleanor - Supporting a Friend in Need!
30%
3 votes
Anch0r33 - Experience with Anxiety
30%
3 votes
Anch0r33 - Dealing with Parents
40%
4 votes
Post edited by TheMix on
1
Comments
No worries @Durhamjaide! Good to have as many votes as possible.