I have no friends

Former Member

I don’t really have any friends and I never go outside I don’t make any, people I class as a friend are off doing their own thing & I've become distant from them. I’m doing online courses and trying to focus on doing stuff for myself but I can’t help thinking that I have no one whilst everyone is living their life. I’m only 19 so I think I have time for new friends and new experiences but everyone around me has a social life, has friends, whereas I don’t & I find it difficult as I have anxiety. I don’t really know what to do 

Former Member

@mol I can really empathise with you on this one. I have just moved to a new city by myself for uni and almost all my work is online which makes it hard to meet people. I have anxiety too and going out isn't really my thing. 

I think it's important to consider your options, if you're comfortable going out with people, then perhaps you could consider connecting with people online (safely of course). Perhaps mention to people you know that you have anxiety and you would rather connect online - I'm sure they will be fine with it!

I have friends back home so I connect with them through messaging and Facetime etc. whilst I am in the process of making friends here  

Former Member

I know how you feel Mol, my current team that I play for is a uni team so they're big on going out drinking, as is every other uni society. Drinking isn't my thing so I often feel left out. I also feel like I'm making my bf miss out because he doesn't go if I don't go (we play on the same uni team). 

It's important to remember that just because people have their groups doesn't mean you can't become a part of that! 

If you feel able to, message some people that you know and try to connect with them, ask them how they're doing and get to know them a bit. 

By reaching out on here you're already doing a great job of working towards what you want. 

Also if you're feeling like you're lonely, you're always welcome in the group chats on here - I've been going just under a month now and I feel like I really know the people and I do classify them as friends. There are some that I'll tell absolutely everything too. 

I'm more than happy to give you my social media and what nots over pm and we can connect too. 

In general it is very hard to make new friends, especially with the pandemic going on, I think everyone's feeling a bit isolated and lonely with it all. I've got a few friends from uni that I talk to as I was lucky enough to have a year before the pandemic. 

Try and join a club or a sports team - they can be great for making new friends and can help with loneliness

Always remember you're not alone and you've got us

Former Member

@mol I really feel like I have no friends now too trust me your not alone 🥺❤️

Azziman

Hey I get where you're coming from - seeing everyone else living their life, while you're watching them from afar, and wondering how you can have that. Anxiety can make us feel separated from others like that, overwhelming us with worries and concerns no matter how ridiculous. Truth is, there are friends who wish you would join them, but might not know how to say it.

People living their lives out there are making friends with other people out there, but they won't ever get a chance to meet you while you're not outside in the world. It sounds really obvious, but to make friends with people outside, you have to go outside. I don't know how much you feel anxiety affects you or stops you from doing this, but once you're feeling up to it, I'd really recommend you go out and talk to someone you know to begin with. It might seem scary, and the first couple of times will feel unfamiliar, but in time you'll meet people and get to be a part of that world that seems so far away at the moment.

Really hope that you're able to settle your anxiety and go outside soon

Former Member

@Anch0r33 I don’t really know if there are any sports I enjoy, plus I have so much anxiety that trying to go would be difficult in itself. I had friends at school but I lost contact with them & a lot of them weren’t very nice people. I had friends at college but there was only one person I’d really hang out with because she understood, everyone else was horrible. I’m trying to focus on studying but my mind always drifts 

Former Member

Hey @mol sounds like a rlly difficult situation you're going through.

I can understand how with the pressure (or fomo) from other people being so intense, and then throwing a load of anxiety on top of that, that you can lose motivation/inspiration for going outside to meet people. 

Would you say youre an extrovert or an introvert? In other words, do you get your energy from being by yourself or by being with other people. 

Often there can be a pressure from our culture that we are meant to be outgoing and extroverted but actually a lot of people live very happy lives keeping themselves to themselves. I suppose what I'm getting at is, is the pressure you're feeling to make new friends coming from what you want for yourself or what you feel like you should be wanting for yourself?