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Anyone awake. (Kinda struggling tonight)

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Hey @independent_ and @Shaunie

    thank you to both of you for your replies. 

    The pain is still really bad but not in work til 3pm tomorrow and just finished now. So hope I can catch up on some sleep. Just had enough of the pain now 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Really hope you manage to get a decent night's sleep tonight @*BananaMonkey* I had a long part of my life where I couldn't get any sleep, though for different reasons, so I can understand a little of what you're going through. We're all rooting for you! <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Riley said:
    Really hope you manage to get a decent night's sleep tonight @*BananaMonkey* I had a long part of my life where I couldn't get any sleep, though for different reasons, so I can understand a little of what you're going through. We're all rooting for you! <3
    Thank you Riley 

    I just feel like giving up. The pain really gets to me :( 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Sending you lots of hugs @*BananaMonkey* I wish we could do more for you but if you ever need a place to talk there's usually someone around on the boards. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I have so much guilt right now, I feel like I shouldn't be posting on the boards. I just want the pain to stop, but it wont. It wont ever get better, and I thought after almost 6 years I would be used to it, but then I wonder if anybody could get used to being in pain on a daily basis, a constant battle of pain, waking up in pain, going to bed in pain and just trying to cope on a daily basis. 

    I just don't understand why my body has to fail me, like I wish I didn't have to deal with the pain. I feel so lost, so alone, and just so fed up.

    I often think about what my life was like before pain, I remember it. Not having to take painkillers on a daily basis, not worrying if I go out for the day, that I'll really be paying the price afterwards cause of the pain. 

    I just feel so emotionally and physically drained :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I can’t do this anymore 
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,016 Supreme Poster
    Absolutely never feel guilty for posting on here <3 we care about you and what your going through is really really hard, it’s understandable that you’re feeling the way you are. Pain is tough, so having to experience that all the time must be really really draining. 

    Sending you massive hugs. It sounds like you need them <3 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I just feel really down. I’m trying to keep my mood up but it’s not working.

    Im so anxious. Today we went into lockdown again at work cause we’ve got an outbreak of covid, I’ve already had it so I’m not too worried from that side it’s mainly just the whole lockdown and I reckon we will be in local lockdown soon too. It’s all too much. I want it to be over. 

    I just wish the world would go back to how it was. 
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,016 Supreme Poster
    I actually really understand that. I too wish the world could just go back to how it was before the constant worry about lockdowns and Covid issues. Lockdown is really scary, even the prospect of another lockdown. I really understand where you’re coming from there.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
     I’ve been thinking a lot about my past today too, and it’s bought back a lot of very painful memories that I’ve never fully spoken about so I’m trying to deal with that right now. I just want to sleep. But my brain is so busy :( 
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,016 Supreme Poster
    That’s always tough thinking about the past :( I really hope you’re able to get some sleep soon <3 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I think I’m gonna try and sleep.

    Currently lay crying, trying to calm down.

    Thank you so much for talking to me @independent_ it’s helped :heart: 
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,016 Supreme Poster
    I’m glad to hear it’s been helpful, anytime <3
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    For the first day in what feels like forever the pain is manageable, I am in work at 3, but I’ve managed to shower, blitz my room, clean my hamster Echos cage out, do my washing. Most of the time I can’t do anything when I’m in work cause work drains all my energy on top of the constant pain. But today the pain isn’t as bad. Still there but not as bad as most days. 

    I’m proud of everything I’ve achieved today so far. :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    Hey there! @*BananaMonkey* it’s positive that your pain wasn’t too bad yesterday, how is it today?  <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    @Jade09 it’s bad today :( and I am in work at 3 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 660 Incredible Poster
    @*BananaMonkey* sorry to hear that your pain was bad, how did work go? and how are things going today?  <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I’ve got shingles and I’m in so much pain. Just fed up of always getting poorly. My immune system is so bad :( 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Is anyone awake ?
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    *BananaMonkey* said:
    Is anyone awake ?
    I’m awake. Are you okay?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    *BananaMonkey* said:
    Is anyone awake ?
    *BananaMonkey* said:
    Is anyone awake ?

    Morning, I've not long woken up, are you ok? I'm here if you need a chat 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Thank you @Shaunie and @GreenTea

    Bad night but I managed to get some sleep in the end. 

    Just bad night with pain :( 
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