Needing some support

Former Member

So as some of you may know from previous posts I have been on a journey to get over my ex.

Just kinda needing some support at the minute. It's weird because I don't really miss her anymore, but whenever she's brought up in a conversation in any context I still get upset. It's like I'd rather her not exist. Not in a bad way but where I just don't want anything to do with her at all.

Anyone else relate to this?

Former Member

Hey @TiredSquirrel

It's great that you're reaching out for support with this! Getting over someone isn't always a linear process - some days you might think about them all the time, sometimes you could go days not thinking about them at all. It's totally natural to get a little upset when an ex is mentioned (even if it's been a while since you last thought of them) especially if the break up was painful or unwanted. 

It sounds like you're reflecting on this really well and figuring out your boundaries when it comes to how much contact you want with your ex. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to move on completely and cleanly by not interacting with them. I, and I'm sure a lot of people on the boards, can definitely relate to that! 

What do you think has helped you stay positive during this time? 

Maisy

Hey there,

I agree with @Past User . Even though we'd like to think that getting over someone is straight-forward, more often or not it isn't. I know from my own experience that I've felt over someone for a while, only to find a reminder of them and feeling emotional as if I'm back to square one (even though, you never fully go back to square one!) In this case, it makes sense that you'd want to forget about your ex to the point of her not existing. 

It seems like the mentioning of your ex brought up strong feelings for you, so it seems like it's still a sensitive subject for you. That's okay, it takes time for these feelings to ease where reminders don't upset you. I'm wondering if maybe you could talk to whoever brought up your ex and mention that maybe you'd prefer it for now not to talk about her? It won't always be this way, but if it's upsetting you, then you definitely deserve to talk about it so that you can prevent future upsets. In time, you will learn that hearing about your ex won't bring up strong feelings. 

I'd also like to suggest these two articles, if you haven't already checked them out, on mending a broken heart: https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/single-life-and-dating/mending-a-broken-heart-3184.html and how to get over a break up https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/relationships/how-do-i-get-over-a-break-up-4176.html

Your feelings are normal and I'm sure many others have felt the same way too. Take care! 

Former Member

I saw that you have had some support and advice from the moderators. I really do hope that things get better for you - I'll be here for you if you need me.

Former Member

Thank you guys. Feeling ok at the minute. Been seeing another girl lately so that's helped but I can't help but feel guilty that I still think about my ex.