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Support Chat thread 16/06/20

2

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hugs @Raven

    That doesn't seem like a very supportive response. Were always here for you :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 30 Boards Initiate
    I've just been buying vinyl records for my turntable since I was feeling down ha ha
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I feel so overwhelmed
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    Thanks @Stephanie the worst part is the not knowing, not knowing when I'll get a job, not knowing if I'll ever get a chance to make friends. Not knowing when I'll feel happy again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Raven said:
    Thanks @Stephanie the worst part is the not knowing, not knowing when I'll get a job, not knowing if I'll ever get a chance to make friends. Not knowing when I'll feel happy again.

    you'll feel happy agan. it just takes time, sorry i havent read all the comments, did see about your job lose though and im very sorry to hear that! keep pushing through, you'll make it to the otherside! we are here for you, this community is a very caring and supporitve place, we are here for you whenever you need us
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Ah i understand! thats really tricky @Raven I don't know a huge deal about the rules and guidelines but its defo a tough situation! 

    I can understand your savings is what will get you out of there so i know its upsetting to have to use them. Maybe if you had to use them when you got a job you could get a cheap deposit on a place? 

    Keep your eye out on work as i'm sure theres some places that may be cropping up now things are beginning to reopen x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    Thanks @GreenTea I am determined to make it out of this and improve my situation. I feel so lost here, like even when things start to open up again, I have no one I could just meet up with or go have a coffee with. I am so jealous of people who have that
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    @TiredSquirrel sounds like a great idea i love vinyls! lol

    Whats on your mind this evening @Shaunie

    sending hugs everyone x
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Ive had a stressful day taking teddy to the vets. Walked there and back three times and had 9 phones call with them. He's feeling sorry for himself
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    And im scared it will change his personality
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Raven said:
    Thanks @GreenTea I am determined to make it out of this and improve my situation. I feel so lost here, like even when things start to open up again, I have no one I could just meet up with or go have a coffee with. I am so jealous of people who have that
    you arent alone with this. i have very few people i can meet us with too, its ok! 
    you'll get through this!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    @Liaine I am hoping to get something but my degree is hospitality and up here in Scotland we have no date for reopening hotels/restaurants. I was on track to gain management training in the US and I am just worried that I won't get on in my career without graduate opportunities. I'm stuck between maybe taking an entry level job and moving out but not moving up in my career. or staying miserable bring here with my parents waiting and depleting my savings until I can get a graduate job or internship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    They usually do feel very sorry for themselves after @Shaunie he will be right as rain tomorrow i'm sure its good to hear he's okay!

    In terms of personality it likely won't change him all that much it just makes them more calm when we got our dog done you could tell he was still buster! 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Aw that's good!  When i picked him up he wasn't that happy to see me. Made me abit sad but maybe because of General anesfic. I hope he doesn't hate me for being the one who left him there
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    my anixety is sky high tonight. sat shaking and tight chested
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Ah i understand @Raven ! I always say its never too late so many people have changed complete career paths halfway through one job isn't the end.

    I'm really sorry about the loss of management training but whatever you choose its not over.
    if you choose an entry level job there's no reason you can't get yourself moved out and comfortable before moving onto finding a job or internship in your chosen career path? 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    He won't @Shaunie it makes them quite miserable but he won't blame you he will probably just be distant for the night :)

    Sounds really rough @GreenTea remember to breathe, slow breaths we're here to help you through it <3 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Don't suppose you know when their cone can come off
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited September 18
    thank you @Past User
    just another challenge to push through! i think because im so tired its worse and because of the strom earlier!
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    edited September 18
    @Past User I have another challenge with moving out as my parents won't let me rent. They will only let me get a mortgage but I don't have enough for a deposit and the lenders need you to have a job for at least 6 months. I feel so stuck here, I am an adult yet I sometimes feel like I am restricted in the way that I was when I was a child. I am not even allowed to get a job where I would have to work late at night because my mum is scared something will happen to me on the way back. I just need to get out of here so being in America was a proper escape for me.
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    @Shaunie cones are to stay on till the stitches have healed thats 10-14 days but you can take it off at times if you supervise him and make sure he doesn't lick his wound :)

    @GreenTea Its tougher when we're not on our A game but its okay to have rough times you're doing really amazing <3

    Thats really tough @Raven i understand your mum is worried about you but you are a grown adult she should let you have freedom in your own choices. Its nice to hear america was a good escape hopefully after all this you can soon get that escape back again.

    Are you able to put down a deposit for someone to rent without them knowing? or something? <3 
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie

    Did you get him neutered ? My dog isn’t neutered at the moment because he’s a show dog but his son is neutered. He was miserable in his cone so bought him a post op vest from the vets... or you could just get a baby grow depending on the size of Teddy 

    He was miserable and sore for about a week and then he was back to his normal self. It helped him a lot, before he was neutered he used to pee in people’s houses when we’d visit and he’d be dominant over other dogs but now he’s great 😃
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Side bar (typical chat time is over but i am on a courswork spree tonight so will still check in if anyone wants support :) if anyone wants their comments taken away tonight afterwards i will happily do so and can look into getting the thread deleted tomorrow) 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    edited September 18
    @Past User I have thought about "running away" as such but as much as we argue my parents are all I have and I really don't want to leave them and be completely alone. If I did something behind their back like that they would be extremely upset with me. I know that my mum is against it as whenever she hears about anyone renting she always makes comments like "if you don't need to rent its such a waste of money, thats why you'll get a mortgage''. The rest of my family have fallen out with my parents and we haven't spoken to them in years. I haven't seen my grandparents on my dads side for over 10 years and the thought of my family cutting me off like that is so horrible so I couldn't go behind their back like that. It doesn't help my wanting to move out so bad.
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    I hear you @Raven thats really tricky i can understand you wouldn't want to upset them, sending all the hugs <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    edited September 18
    Thank you @Past User any tips on how to sleep at night? Ive been struggling to fall asleep before 4am and get severe chest pains and anxiety/can't stop crying. 
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,015 Supreme Poster
    @Raven I've actually been struggling a lot with sleep too lately, do you have anything you could do before you sleep which would distract you and calm you down?
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Sorry only seen this @Raven 💖

    Is there anything you find relaxes you?  Nice sounds, crosswords etc I use ASMR and word searches 

    Anything that makes you feel comfortable I fall asleep to sound I have Netflix on and leave a show playing for background noise.

    Make sure the rooms dark/bright enough for you, the right temp, 

    Sometimes a nice bath can help me go to sleep 

    If anxiety is a problem Definitely try something to distract yourself or get busy 

    We often hold onto our problems till the end of the day and because we're trying to relax it's when our mind takes the to fixate on things.

    Keeping busy doing something we enjoy can help. I like to also tell my brain that now is not the time I need sleep.

    You can try and write down all your thoughts and anxieties when this happens again that really helped me as I got them out and I would be able to remember tomorrow if there was anything I needed to fix.
    It reminds us that we won't forget about it and that we can truly relax :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    edited September 18
    @Past User thanks for the ideas, I feel like I am constantly crying I don't know how to get myself to stop. 
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    @Raven

    you could also try some sleep meditation / breathing exercises. They help clear my mind before bed and usually send me right to sleep. There’s loads to pick from on google/YouTube & Spotify :) 
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