Struggle to eat

Former Member

I'm finding it so difficult to find reasons to eat or to be able to convince myself I need to eat. I feel so tired constantly and hungry but I just can't bring myself to eat. I want to so bad but I just can't. I feel so defeated and lost on what to do. When I do eat I'm just absorbed by so much anxiety and and feel so down, the voices get worse, I feel so alone. I just lose any sense of control I have convinced myself I normally have. 

Former Member

hey @Past User I know exactly how you feel, throwback a year and it was me in this situation, im not sure what changed in me to begin to eat again, the nurses starting me off and when I was home I would do stuff while I ate to distract me from the voices, like I would snack at work while im working to distract me, I started off not eating full meals cause the thought of that was too scary, but eating little and often then building it up, something else that helped was the #fearfoodfriday challenge on ig/twitter, seeing others trying scary foods gave me motivation to do it aswell, it also helped me feel less alone
most of all what helped me was realizing all the things I was missing out on, I didn't have the energy to play with my nephew, go out with friends and well it hurt to sit down, I just go sick of it and wanted a way out, and the only way to get out of it was to eat. 
are you receiving any help with your eating? maybe seeing a dietician could help you set out a meal plan? 
remember you are never alone, we're always here for you

Food = Fuel

Former Member

Hi, thanks @Past User. I'm not seeing anyone due to my eating problems and no one knows what's going on in my real life. My dad's concerned that I look ill and I'm losing weight but I just eat a small amount around him and he forgets. I've tried talking to my parents before about stuff and the last time I tried I ended up having a breakdown in my room after my dad essentially had a go at me, and I havnt tried since.
I was able to eat a small breakfast this evening and I'm going to try to detract myself as everything is already seeming to get worst after eating. Again thank you. 

Former Member

@Past User

Hey sorry to hear you are struggling with eating, just wanted to drop by and let you know of an amazing charity that have really been helping me recently. 
https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/
They are able to provide advice and have a 1-2-1 chat line option which is really helpful.

I hope you are doing ok 💜
You matter 💜

Former Member

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Have you shared with someone how you are struggling, like a parent, teacher or even a friend. A problem shared is a problem halved

Former Member

Hey @Past User it sounds like you’re having a hard time when it comes to eating and you’ve shown a lot of strength by reaching out.

It sounds like you are feeling stressed with not being able to eat and it’s making you feel tired and hungry. Would you feel comfortable talking to someone you trust about how you are feeling? This could be a friend, a family member or your doctor. Also, Beat (I would add a link here) are a great charity that can offer support to anyone who has anxiety around eating.

Anxiety around eating and food can be really difficult, but you should be proud that you have taken the first step by reaching out. Remember you are not alone, and your feelings are valid and safe here. Please keep talking about how you are feeling

Former Member

Hi I’m struggling with eating at the moment but it’s more I’m only eating small amounts maybe 1 small meal a day but I always feel guilty after and I feel like there’s no one I can talk to but I don’t know weather I’m just overthinking everything because my parents are saying I look I’ll and under weight but I feel so much bigger than there saying I don’t feel good in my own skin but I don’t know what it is and I’m scared to say anything out of fear people will say there’s nothing wrong does anyone know of anything l could do to talk to someone

Laura_tigger82

Hi @daisy

Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.

There are certainly people you can talk to. You are never as alone as you may feel. BEAT (https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/) is a specific charity that may be particularly helpful. Other than BEAT, you can talk to us, Samaritans, and Shout to name just a few. You could also talk to your GP if this is something you would feel comfortable with.

If you want to talk to us, would you like to talk about why you feel guilty after eating? Or why you don't feel good in your own skin, to begin with? Mind also has some useful information about eating problems. If you want to explore this resource, you can find it at https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/eating-problems/about-eating-problems/.

We believe you, are here for you, listening to you, and caring about you

Former Member

Thank you for replying I feel guilty because I think I’m overweight and need to be skinnier and I don’t feel good in my skin because when I look in the mirror I don’t feel like myself I feel like There’s someone else looking back telling me I’m overweight and not good enough thank you for the links and all the advice

Former Member

Hey @daisy,

It sounds like you're going through a lot right now. Thanks so much for reaching out to us, I know it can be difficult. I understand how you're feeling, I used to also have a lot of issues with food. I think the best thing I was ever told was that food is fuel not the enemy. I know that it's easy for me to say these things, but you're not alone. We're here to listen to you always. Is there anyone you feel safe or comfortable to confide in about your struggles with food? If you feel able to, it may be really helpful to reach out to your GP about this, as it sounds like it's really impacting your mental health as well. You are more than good enough, your weight doesn't determine your worth, as much as your brain may be telling you so. You matter because you're you, and you're important because of who you are. You're so strong for reaching out, thank you so much for reaching out when you need!

Former Member

Thank you so much for the advice I will speak to my GP I have 1 person I can speak to and he’s really good with it all but hasn’t been through it so it’s good to hear someone whose been through it’ opinion it is impacting my mental health alot and I really do appreciate it thank you for ur advice ❤️

Laura_tigger82

Hi @daisy

I am glad to hear you have someone you can trust. I think it is even better that you have managed to hear from someone who has been through it as sometimes true understanding is all we really need. I can completely understand it is impacting your mental health and I am really glad to hear you are ready to reach out for support to hopefully feel better soon. If there's anything else we can do to help, please just give us a shout

Former Member

Thank you for the advice I feel a lot better and have managed to eat abit more today and everything u have said has helped

Laura_tigger82

Hi @daisy

I am really glad to hear we have helped. I am really proud of you for managing to eat more today. How are you currently feeling? We are here for you

Former Member

I’m feeling good today thank you

Laura_tigger82

Hi @daisy

Thanks for your response. Amazing. I am really glad to hear you are feeling good today!

Former Member

Hey @daisy,

It's really amazing and inspiring that you've reached out for support when you need it, I know how difficult it can be. I'm so pleased to hear you have someone close to you who makes you feel safe and listened to. You and your mental health are always a priority, and it's understandable that this is causing your mental health to decline. You're really doing amazing by reaching out, and I'm really proud of you. It's amazing to read you're feeling better today, please always know we're here for you whenever you need support

Former Member

Thank you for everything do u think I should really speak to someone about this and get it looked at reaching out finally and saying something was a scary thing to do but ur all too kind give good advice

Laura_tigger82

Hi @daisy

Aww, you don't have to thank us. Our support is the very least you deserve. I do think you should speak to someone if you feel comfortable. You deserve all the support. Hopefully, you will soon be able to eat without guilt and feel good in your own skin. Sending you hugs

Former Member

Hi @daisy

I understand what you're struggling with must be really difficult but it's great that you've reached out and I'm so glad today has been a better day.

Difficulties with eating/ feelings of guilt surrounding food are definitely not something you're alone with and if you haven't done so already, reaching out for further support and chatting to someone about it would be really helpful.

As you've mentioned, I can only imagine how scary it was to open up on this chat, but it's so amazing that you have! It might feel nerve-wracking again, but chatting to your GP is a great next step and absolutely something I would recommend. Your GP is there to listen and provide you options for further support that will hopefully help you to get on top of these difficulties.

In the meantime, BEAT (https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/) offers some great online information and support into eating difficulties, as well as helplines and chatrooms that you might find useful.

I really hope some of this helps You're doing amazingly

Former Member

@Past User I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling like this, just know that you are not alone. I know that you already know but starving yourself is never an option and there are horrible long-term physical consequences. My advice would be to start small, do you have any foods that you think are okay t have? Try to have those and work your way up. I am glad you have opened up -it must have been unbelievably hard- and I am so proud of you for that! I understand the feeling of losing control but remember that if you are hurting yourself, how in control are you? The first step is to come to terms with what you are going through and it seems like you have so that is amazing, well done, but now the next step is the hardest part -to get better. I know you can do it! Stay safe!

Former Member

there are foods I can eat without feeling guilt and I have started there but I still don’t feel good afterwards I appreciate the advice and I am really trying to get better

Former Member

@daisy that's really amazing to hear, even small steps should be celebrated, you're trying your best and that's incredible! We believe you, and we're always here for you. Please be kind to yourself, these situations can be really hard to navigate and cope with, and the fact you're actively trying to do things that benefit you and your mental health are really really great! I wonder if you've been able to speak to your GP or someone close to you that you feel safe and comfortable with about this?

Former Member

I’ve not really had anyone to speak to recently and haven’t been to a GP as I haven’t told my family how I’ve been feeling and I don’t know what to do I’m honestly just abit lost

Former Member

@daisy That's more than understandable, this is your journey, and you take as much time as you need, It can be really overwhelming, thinking about having to discuss this with other people. We're always here for you if you ever need to talk or vent or anything! How do you feel when you think about telling your family how you're feeling?

Former Member

I feel sick when thinking about talking to family about how am I’m feeling cos I’m scared of what they will say I’m worried about my school finding out and telling my family it’s all just a lot

Former Member

@daisy That sounds really distressing for you, I'm sorry to hear that. It's understandable that this is all very overwhelming, you're dealing with a lot. Do you feel safe talking to anyone in your family about what's going on? I know this isn't always an option, so please don't worry if not. I just want you to know this is a safe space for you always.

Laura_tigger82

Hi @daisy

Thanks for your response. We can see you are trying to get better and really proud of you to even want to! It is such a positive step forwards in the right direction. Could you focus on the foods you can eat without feeling guilty and try to incorporate a few other foods on a regular basis? I appreciate it may not be this simple, and we are here for you and so are the other supports we have suggested! (BEAT being a particularly good one as it can be confidential)