How do I tell my family I want to move out?

Former Member

I've been staying with my boyfriend and his family's house for quite a while now, I'm also staying here for the covid19 situation. 

I live with my grandparents in kinship care however I'll be 20 this year (so kinship technically ended when I was 18 but I couldn't live with my mum). 

My mum has a lot of regrets and loves seeing me every day, or most days at least. I'm my grandparents only grandchild so I know they miss me. My grandad literally bought a phone, downloaded Skype with the aim to video chat and now texts me every day because he misses me. 

My relationship with my grandparents isn't bad, but it's just awkward and I always felt like I was forced on them. Social work told my mum it was my grandparents or foster care. I was there when they said it, so without consulting my grandparents I was just moved there. They were on holiday at the time too abroad so my mum had to stay with me at my grandparents house until they returned. It was very awkward, that's for sure. 

I feel I've had a better relationship with them since I've not stayed there. I also struggle to see my mum, she makes me so angry. I struggle with regulating emotions so it's hard. 

I know I'm gonna have to stay here for at least 4 months or until this coronavirus is over but how do I say afterwards that I don't want to return to them? 

Any help would be great

Azziman

I think first make sure that you're absolutely sure you want to do this. If so, make sure everything is prepared and ready for when you want to go (savings, all accounts as you'll need to change your home address etc). I'd sit them down and just be honest - that you'd like to move out and be a little more independent. They can't really stop you to be honest, but talk to them openly and hopefully they can come to terms with it. Be brave, confident and kind!x

Former Member

Agree with what @Azziman says. Moving out is a big, but natural step, for anyone to take. Make sure you have everything prepared that you need to move out. You'll want to make sure you can afford living alone, and how much you are expected to contribute. If you plan on living with your boyfriend, it might be useful to figure out how much rent/utilities are and see if there is anyway you can contribute. 

In terms of speaking to your grandparents, I'd also agree with what @Azziman says. Its up to you how you approach how you speak to them, but you don't need to tell them that you think you have a better relationship now you don't stay there. You can if you want, but you can also keep it simple. You could just explain how you want to be more independent, and how it's normal for someone your age to take that step. If you want to explain anything more you obviously can, but moving out is a natural step for anyone to take

Former Member

I guess I forgot to update this. Back in February I moved into a place of my own with my bf. It's going well although adulting is difficult. Sometimes things build up (like housework or making meals). My mum is a hoarder so I'm worried I'll be like her. Working hard though, sometimes things are tough. I'm glad to have my own space though

Former Member

Well done I’m glad it’s working out for u

Former Member

Anch0r33 wrote: »

I guess I forgot to update this. Back in February I moved into a place of my own with my bf. It's going well although adulting is difficult. Sometimes things build up (like housework or making meals). My mum is a hoarder so I'm worried I'll be like her. Working hard though, sometimes things are tough. I'm glad to have my own space though

glad its working @Anch0r33