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Driving and money.

SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
edited March 2020 in Home, Law & Money
My sister is offering me £500 to spend on learning to drive and when i get a job that gives me proper money then i give it to her. And she says its not like im her friend. She will know she will get it back at one point and £500 hardly makes a dent in her account atm. 

It is a nice offer but i don’t know what to say about it. I know it sounds nice but it is actually probably mostly for selfish reasons. She said she needs motivation to do her driving and if i was doing mine then that would motivate her and would actually get some where. Which then just makes me feel bad cause i feel like im dragging her back cause she is waiting for me when i dont even really wanna do it. Cause we are twins and she seems to think we need to do these life stages at literally the same time. Driving isnt really something i care about atm but my sister seems to really want me to start learning and i dont want to hold her back. And even my older sister is saying its a good idea as would branch to more job opportunities too. And i don’t know really know what im suppose to say to it cause it would stress me out knowing i owe my sister £500 and i dont barely have a job. I do have a job but it gives me £250 a month and i barely have any money for myself and money goes very fast even on basic things and give my dad money too. So would never be able to pay her back with the money i earn atm. And with this cvirus pretty hard to get a job anytime soon. I would like to drive at some point in my life but its not my mentallity atm plus it scares the shit out of me that you could literally kill someone/people by driving 

And just kinda wanted peoples opinions on it
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    To be honest Shaunie it sounds like you aren’t too interested in learning to drive and the thought of owing that amount of money back to your sis is going to stress you out even more, so it doesn’t sound like it would be a great idea? I’d just tell her that you think it’s really nice and generous of her and you appreciate the offer but if you’re not interested in doing it then that’s enough reason not to! 
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,577 Part of The Furniture
    edited March 2020
    @Lucy307 said:
    To be honest Shaunie it sounds like you aren’t too interested in learning to drive and the thought of owing that amount of money back to your sis is going to stress you out even more, so it doesn’t sound like it would be a great idea? I’d just tell her that you think it’s really nice and generous of her and you appreciate the offer but if you’re not interested in doing it then that’s enough reason not to! 
    ^ Agreed :)
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    The truth resists simplicity.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Obnoxiously Large Anchor Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    I agree with above, but if you don't mind me adding my own opinion here I was Forced I to driving, I had no interest and was literally rebelling against the fact that I was being forced I to driving. 

    I passed my test with no minors and ended up loving driving. I've got so much more freedom now since I passed. I saved up for my own car though which is a major part of that freedom. 

    Driving is something I'd definitely recommend but not in the way your sister wants to do it, if that makes sense. Do it because you want to and when you're able to financially support yourself. 

    Running a car is expensive and I'm struggling with it. You have to pay the monthly repayments for the car, insurance and fuel as well as any other running costs/mot etc. 

    Sometimes it's more worthwhile relying on public transport. Mine is a long term investment because I travel a lot so need to get myself places but if you don't need to go too far I'd say wait until you feel ready. 

    Best of luck :) 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2020
    Hey

    thank you for your views @Lucy307 @Mike @Anch0r33 ! Super helpful. 

    I completly agree. 

    But then yesterday my siser told me to buy the theory 4 in 1 app to try it out as its something to do. So i did and it is defently is something to do aha. It is actually really suprisingly fun lol. I guess it might be fun when ive literally got nothing to do cause of lockdown and all. 

    Its like fun learning something and distraction. I dont actualy wanna learn to drive. But yeah if i live long enough i would in the future and guess sitting at home doing nothing might aswell learn well ahead
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Living the Zen life 🧘🏼‍♀️ Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie I can’t help you with the motivation side but I decided to get my full driving license when I was 17. I had a part-time job with only 8 hours a week and I got just over £250 a month. I paid £150 every six weeks for lessons which worked out fine because I wasn’t really paying for anything else so my bank account still went up. I struggled to keep up with the costs of having a car after I had passed but obviously you can just get your license and not a car. 

    My mentality was that I had a job but I was too young to have bills or anything so I used the money to drive before I would have more financial commitments.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2020
    @Shaunie I can’t help you with the motivation side but I decided to get my full driving license when I was 17. I had a part-time job with only 8 hours a week and I got just over £250 a month. I paid £150 every six weeks for lessons which worked out fine because I wasn’t really paying for anything else so my bank account still went up. I struggled to keep up with the costs of having a car after I had passed but obviously you can just get your license and not a car. 

    My mentality was that I had a job but I was too young to have bills or anything so I used the money to drive before I would have more financial commitments.
    @MountainPeak  
    yeah defo can't afford a car anytime soon. Feels like a fun way to spend my time of learning.  how long in hours of driving lessons did you roughly take you to learn to drive ? 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Living the Zen life 🧘🏼‍♀️ Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie I had literally hardly ever been in a car before and it took me around 40 hours of lessons. It would have been around 30 but I had a bit of anxiety about the test so I pushed it back a month 
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