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I quit but now I wish I hadn’t.

millzmillz Posts: 2 Newbie
I have worked my whole life, I worked in my parents shop after schools whilst growing up, I had paper rounds when I was old enough to and I have been working in a little store, just me and my manager for 4 years.

My pay was not great but it got me by, it paid my rent, car insurance and other bills and left me with some money to go out with friends or treat myself every now and again. 

I live with my boyfriend who is the laziest person ever. He has been fired from every job he’s ever had. He brings no money into our home and all he ever does it take take take. He sits at home all day on his xbox and should I ask him to please find a job, it ends in a massive argument and I find myself sleeping on the sofa. 

I quit my job today. I turned up this morning 1 hour before opening time so that I could unlock, sweep up and prepare for the day. A customer was stood at the door waiting for me to get there, I opened up and she stormed in despite me saying we aren’t open yet. She’s yelling at me because an item which we had sold to her was broken, I offered to swap it but she wanted a refund. I do not make the rules, but my boss doesn’t allow this. She was shouting and screaming and I was trying to calm her down whilst holding back tears 

I told her id call my boss, he said he’d be right down (he lives above the shop) and he came in and the lady was still angry, shouting, yelling, getting ready to throw fists and my boss starts joining in with her! He says that he can’t believe I’d sell a broken item, I should’ve checked it first, he called me a “dumb, useless blonde”. I was humiliated, this was not my fault. The lady received her refund and left.

I broke down in tears purely out of embarrassment. I’m not a weak person and it’s so rare I cry but I have never felt so intimidated and bullied. I told my boss I wanted to leave and he said I cannot do that without handing in a notice. I told him that I quit right here on the spot. He said no and stood infront of the shop door not letting me leave,  I was upset and adrenaline was rushing through my body. I grabbed his arm tried to  pull him out of the way but wasn’t strong enough,   he stood there and laughed. I got my phone out to call my boyfriend and he grabbed my arm, he got really close to my face and told me to get out, he stepped out of the way of the door and i went back home. 

I’ve had an awful day. I don’t know how my bills are now going to get paid. I want to call my mum and tell her but I don’t want her to feel worried and like she has to help me with money. 😭😭😭😭 I have never, ever experienced anything like this. 


  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Hey @millz im sorry to hear what you went through, why do you want to go back? your boss doesn't sound very nice, any manager that makes you feel that way shouldn't be a manager... have you considered reporting him?
    im sorry I cant offer much advice, but maybe going to citizens advice would be worth looking at? they can help you with benefit forms while you find another job, which im sure will be soon! as for your boyfriend I don't know what to suggest, no one can make him change his ways apart from him, he has to want it.
    maybe telling you mam could be useful, having someone there to support you through this, she doesn't have to help you out with money unless you need it...

    sorry I wasn't much help just wanted you to know im thinking of you and sending lots of hugs! I hope today is a better day for you <3
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 4,977 The Mix Elder
    edited March 2020
    Really solid advice from @BubblesGoesBoo here. Nobody should be experience violence or verbal abuse at work and that definitely sounds reportable. Not saying you have to do that - reporting it always a personal choice - but it's something to consider. Citizens Advice are great for free legal and financial advice - you can erither find a local branch or look at their resources online.

    And again with your boyfriend, Bubbles has a point that someone has to want change for it to happen. There can be a lot of barriers to someone seeking work and I'm wondering if your boyfriend is struggling in his own way right now, maybe with his mental health or something else that could be pushing him into 'lazy' behaviours. How is your relationship with him generally @millz? If you don't mind me asking. Sounds like things are a little rocky?

    I'd also second the recommendation to talk to your mum. If you really don't want to, you don't have to accept any financial help from her, but family (particularly parents) are there to lean on when things are tough. It's also okay to let someone help you with money if you need it. :)

    How are you feeling personally at the moment? I realise it's been a few days since you posted this, but an experience like the one you described in your post must be absolutely awful to go through. Nobody deserves to be treated like that in any situation. :(

    Keep us posted - we're here if you need us millz.
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,301 Skive's The Limit

     that is an awful way to be treated at work. I agree that was definetly not your fault at all. You handle the situation really well for how horrible the lady was being and did what you was suppose to do. 

    I’m not a weak person and it’s so rare I cry but I have never felt so intimidated and bullied.

    It does not make you weak at all. Its understable you felt this way and we all have a breaking point where things get too overwhelming. 

    I agree with @Mike  there may be some reason your boyfriemd is being like that and might be worth asking how things really are (ask twice) if you havent already. You deserve supporr at this time. Mentally and finically so i hope you find extra support whether that be by your mum or benefits to help in the mean time sounds like you really need it. And its okay. We ALL need help at some point in our lives. The world is too hard to never ask for support 

    take lots of care <3 & welcome to the site
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • millzmillz Posts: 2 Newbie
    @Shaunie @Mike @BubblesGoesBoo

    Thank you so much for your replies. I wrote this in desperation and I was sat sobbing my heart out whilst typing but it has been a few days now, I’ve since had time to calm down and think about things logically. 

    Bubbles, I don’t think it’s that I want to go back. I think it’s more the fact that I’m worried about the unknown. I don’t have a stable job, it’s going to be difficult to find one with the concerns of the corona virus and I’ve never claimed benefits, ever... I wouldn’t even know how or what I’d be entitled too😳! I’ll get in touch with citizens advice on Monday and hopefully they can help me out 🤞🏻!

    @Mike Things between my boyfriend and I are typically OK. He is much older than i, he is 38 years old. We have fallen out a lot over him stealing money when we need it the most, he spends £10 here and £20 there on the Xbox and although that is just small amounts of money, it all adds up when he’s spending every day or even week. He can be the most thoughtful person ever but he can also be very selfish.  I have get him out of bed sometimes at 2,3 or even 4 in the afternoon, he doesn’t touch the house work, and I have to actually ask him to shower himself sometimes. He had a tough family life and we often sit and talk about mental health. He is depressed, the doctor gave him medication and he never went and fetched it from the chemist. We were on a waiting list for him to see a counsellor but decided to go private instead and we pay £50 per week for his counselling sessions. He has been to one so far so early days. I also suspect that he has autism but when mentioning this to the doctor, due to his age, little interest was shown. 

    I called my mum yesterday and had a cry. I don’t think it’s just work but life in general at the moment has been feeling very draining. I’m much better now than I was when I posted this.

    Thank you every one for the thoughtful comments x 

  • JordanJordan Moderator Posts: 343 The Mix Regular
    Glad to hear you are a little calmer now @millz glad to hear you are feeling better now. Have you managed to get in touch/navigate citizens advice?

    How are you feeling/managing now?

    Take care :smile:
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