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I don't think very highly of myself; how do I fix that?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 10 Settling in
in Health & Wellbeing
I have a lot of humility. I don't celebrate my own achievements or praise myself that much, yet I encourage others to celebrate every small thing. I value my friends and family above my own wellbeing. I had a PSHE lesson on self-confidence and it really hit home for me. A vent to a friend afterwards made me realise I don't give myself enough credit. This is also because through most of primary (and even now) I was bullied. I'm trying to work on that now but I'm not really sure where to start, I also have a hard time changing my point of view on something so changing my mindset might take a while.

Any and all advice is appreciated; thanks!  <3
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    edited September 18
    Hey @Past User thanks for sharing how you are feeling. It’s great to hear you are being self reflective and understand the need to give yourself more credit 💜 I think it’s really hard but the best advice I’ve ever got is to ‘treat yourself as you would treat a good friend’ which means to extend the same kindness to yourself as you would if you were giving advice. I try and think of that phrase when I hit any lows but also to acknowledge when it’s time to celebrate what you have achieved. 

    Hope that might help.
    take care 
    -Lucy 
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    edited September 18
    Hi @Past User

    Really glad that you reached out here, it's amazing that you've recognised how important self care is and noticing when you need to give yourself more credit. It's understandable to be unsure on how to start changing your point of view on things, especially yourself and it can be really difficult. 

    I agree with @Lucy307 that you should treat yourself how you'd treat a good friend. I think that might really help with any thoughts or feelings you have about yourself. It sometimes helps me when I'm struggling to change my point of view to just take a minute to realise that I deserve to celebrate and feel good about something I've done. Or if I'm really stuck in a mindset that I can't get out of by myself then I share with a friend and they help me celebrate how I'm feeling or give me another perspective to think about. Often our harshest critics are ourselves and it helps to have someone you love take some pressure off. 

    We're all here for you and you're brave for sharing with your friend and posting here how you've been feeling. I hope you continue some self love and self confidence, you've achieved a lot to be proud of. 
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you for sharing here <3 

    I understand it could feel bad to not to value yourself much. You said you don't know where to start- recongising it is a great way to start and deciding you want a change is another step in the right direction. You deserve all the kindness you give to other people <3 how have things been since you last posted?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    edited September 18
    Hi @Past User 

    Thank you for sharing - this is something that is really important and I think will resonate with a lot of people :heart: Just echoing what the others have said, the fact you are reflecting and recognising that you want to change is a huge step. I also agree with @Lucy307 about the 'treat yourself as you would treat a good friend' advice.  That's also some of the best advice I have ever received so I think that would be a great piece of advice to hold onto each day. A little reminder to be kind to yourself and celebrate every tiny achievement :smile:

    I'm wondering if you have ever considered journaling? I know some people find gratitude journals really helpful in a sense of recognising the wonders of life - but perhaps you could adapt this to recognise how wonderful you are? In my diary I have a prompt at the end of each week to reflect on three things that went well that week or that I'm proud of. Perhaps you could do that too? :heart:

    It would be good to hear how you get on - we are all right there to go on this journey of self care and self confidence with you! X
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,103 Boards Champion
    Hey :)

    Fundamentally this is an issue of self-esteem. It sounds like you care for your friends and family very much, so it's a case of giving yourself that same level of care and attention -  as @Lucy307 mentioned above, treat yourself as you would treat a good friend, and who knows you better and spends more time with you, than yourself?! Just as you celebrate others' achievements, remember to reflect and appreciate your own journey and achievements. Be thankful for those who have helped you, be humbled by the opportunities you've had, and be kind to yourself x

    Much love <3
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