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I don't think very highly of myself; how do I fix that?

SandyDaze12SandyDaze12 Posts: 10 Settling in
I have a lot of humility. I don't celebrate my own achievements or praise myself that much, yet I encourage others to celebrate every small thing. I value my friends and family above my own wellbeing. I had a PSHE lesson on self-confidence and it really hit home for me. A vent to a friend afterwards made me realise I don't give myself enough credit. This is also because through most of primary (and even now) I was bullied. I'm trying to work on that now but I'm not really sure where to start, I also have a hard time changing my point of view on something so changing my mindset might take a while.

Any and all advice is appreciated; thanks!  <3
I'm just doing my best, dammit! Is that good enough for you?
...Will it ever be good enough for you?
joya

Comments

  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 787 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey @SandyDaze12 thanks for sharing how you are feeling. It’s great to hear you are being self reflective and understand the need to give yourself more credit 💜 I think it’s really hard but the best advice I’ve ever got is to ‘treat yourself as you would treat a good friend’ which means to extend the same kindness to yourself as you would if you were giving advice. I try and think of that phrase when I hit any lows but also to acknowledge when it’s time to celebrate what you have achieved. 

    Hope that might help.
    take care 
    -Lucy 
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • GemmaGemma Posts: 106 Moderator
    Hi @SandyDaze12

    Really glad that you reached out here, it's amazing that you've recognised how important self care is and noticing when you need to give yourself more credit. It's understandable to be unsure on how to start changing your point of view on things, especially yourself and it can be really difficult. 

    I agree with @Lucy307 that you should treat yourself how you'd treat a good friend. I think that might really help with any thoughts or feelings you have about yourself. It sometimes helps me when I'm struggling to change my point of view to just take a minute to realise that I deserve to celebrate and feel good about something I've done. Or if I'm really stuck in a mindset that I can't get out of by myself then I share with a friend and they help me celebrate how I'm feeling or give me another perspective to think about. Often our harshest critics are ourselves and it helps to have someone you love take some pressure off. 

    We're all here for you and you're brave for sharing with your friend and posting here how you've been feeling. I hope you continue some self love and self confidence, you've achieved a lot to be proud of. 
  • ShaunieShaunie I’m alive but I’m ✨dead✨ England 🏠Posts: 11,005 An Original Mixlorian
    Thank you for sharing here <3 

    I understand it could feel bad to not to value yourself much. You said you don't know where to start- recongising it is a great way to start and deciding you want a change is another step in the right direction. You deserve all the kindness you give to other people <3 how have things been since you last posted?
    𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐒𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝. 💕💕
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 532 Incredible Poster
    Hi @SandyDaze12

    Thank you for sharing - this is something that is really important and I think will resonate with a lot of people :heart: Just echoing what the others have said, the fact you are reflecting and recognising that you want to change is a huge step. I also agree with @Lucy307 about the 'treat yourself as you would treat a good friend' advice.  That's also some of the best advice I have ever received so I think that would be a great piece of advice to hold onto each day. A little reminder to be kind to yourself and celebrate every tiny achievement :smile:

    I'm wondering if you have ever considered journaling? I know some people find gratitude journals really helpful in a sense of recognising the wonders of life - but perhaps you could adapt this to recognise how wonderful you are? In my diary I have a prompt at the end of each week to reflect on three things that went well that week or that I'm proud of. Perhaps you could do that too? :heart:

    It would be good to hear how you get on - we are all right there to go on this journey of self care and self confidence with you! X
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 812 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey :)

    Fundamentally this is an issue of self-esteem. It sounds like you care for your friends and family very much, so it's a case of giving yourself that same level of care and attention -  as @Lucy307 mentioned above, treat yourself as you would treat a good friend, and who knows you better and spends more time with you, than yourself?! Just as you celebrate others' achievements, remember to reflect and appreciate your own journey and achievements. Be thankful for those who have helped you, be humbled by the opportunities you've had, and be kind to yourself x

    Much love <3
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