i dont know what job i want but i need to decide now

Former Member

Okay so this will probably be a rant but my lifes falling apart right now, im 19 living in a shared house, ive only just got a job but it pays a month what my boyfriend earns a week and hes been paying for EVERYTHING for nearly a year now and hes done with it, he needs help his mental health is terrible because of all the pressure. now im still at college so i cant do much but work part time where i do and go to college, when i finish college ill try go for a job in the factory hes in but i need to help him right now. I am doing media at college and need to pick a field to specify in, i thought graphic design but i cant draw and no one would hire me. i really dont know what im saying but i just need help knowing how i can get money right now and what i can do to help my bf because if i cant help him soon i have to move back in with my abusive mother and im only getting over my eating disorder now. i dont know how to get a media job without going to uni but i need one, i dont know how to get a better paying job while at college but i need one. I need to be able to have decent regular money coming in right now and i dont know what to do, i cant think of anything that would actually work. Im sorry this is a rambling mess and there probably isnt any way to help and im not even sure what help im asking for but i need help. But thank you for reading. 

Former Member

Hello @Past User.
It's completely understandable why you're feeling the way you are. I remember being in college and it was an intense 2 years, so I can only imagine how you are feeling, I really hope my advice can help. I will try to break this down into stages to cover each topic you have raised.

You said your boyfriend is struggling with his mental health at the minute, I'm really sorry to hear about this. This may seem an obvious question so forgive me if it is but has he reached out for help? There are amazing mental health services available such as Samaritans, where he can receive the help he needs. Please remember that although we do all we can for those we love, we can not solve everything ourselves. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness, but that of strength, so please do not tackle this alone, support your boyfriend to get the help necessary.

Being in college and working part time is very stressful, I know from my own experiences, so to have the added pressure of needing other employment could be detrimental to your own wellbeing, which you must not neglect. The career path you want to go down seems really interesting and your college course is the perfect place to begin! Remember to work within the field it is a marathon not a sprint, it can be a lengthy process, I would know as psychology and mental health services are very difficult to be employed within. I would suggest you maybe speak to your current employer about increasing your hours, managers can seem scary but they will be happy to help I am sure! As well as this, I would advice speaking to someone in college about your financial struggles and living situation, there will be someone who can help support you or signpost you to specific services which conduct amazing outreach work!. In terms of working within your field, I would suggest volunteering posts, they are a great way to gain experience and it looks great on your CV. Please do not forget to look after yourself and your own priorities too, focus on college, seek support and I'm sure you will feel the relief of your pressures.

Please understand that it is rare to know what you want to do at our age, I am only just figuring it out! Just stay focused. What helps me when I am feeling overwhelmed:
Keeping a diary to write down my thoughts and feelings.
Having a diary which I write daily to do lists to stay organised.
Talking to friends and family or any of us on the mix
Exercising.
Meditating - this is amazing for stress relief, there are many relaxing meditations on youtube.
Affirmations - I am beautiful, I am smart, I am worthy, I am deserving.

I hope this helps. Remember to reach out, there are always people who want to help

AislingDM

You are so very kind for replying to this thread @alice21 and your advice is simply amazing and so detailed, especially the parts about real-life strategies for coping with so much stress at once. You are such a compassionate person to share such fantastic advice. Just wanted to quickly mention that when a thread is quite old we tend not to reply to it after a while (of course this one should not have been missed). This is only because the original poster might not need support with the issue anymore, or they might not want to be reminded of a difficult time if it's in their past. You have of course done nothing and have shown how brilliant you are at supporting those in need, I just thought I'd let you know in case you didn't know about this approach on The Mix already. Hugely grateful to have read your response and look forward to seeing more on here xxxxx