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I've been involved in a issue to do with sexting on kik and i'm scared of the threat i got hope

Hello everyone, 
 
I really appreciate all the help i can get right now about my problem i'm really scared about the threat i got afterwards i sent the explicit picture of myself to the girl i was talking to. 

So basically if i remember correctly i was around the age of 16/17 at the time and this girl pop up to me on kik as i don't remember messaging them first. So eventually after a while they asked me to send over an explicit picture of myself and stupidly i agreed. Then once i sent they sent me a message saying they was going to find me and arrest me. So i'm scared was this someone trying to scam me or blackmail me or was this someone who could've been a undercover police officer? I can't remember how old the girls profile was as it's been so many years now since the incident! 

I'm 23 years old now and haven't heard anything from the police or the profile of the girl whoever it was behind the profile, I just want to be able to move on with my life and forget this has ever happened. I want to move on with my life with my girlfriend and be happy and get married and have children with her one day and own a house. But I'm scared because of this threat that's going to ruin everything and i regret sending the explicit picture now and i know how stupid i was for what i've done. If i could turn back time i would defiantly go back to my past self and stop me from doing this. 

Hope someone is willing to help me with issue but i understand if no wants to. 

look forward to hearing back from anyone 

Comments

  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 672 Incredible Poster
    Hi @ant6996

    This sounds really distressing and is understandable that you are feeling scared, it's a serious threat so you're having a very human reaction. To be honest I don't know the laws on these things well enough but it sounds like it has been 6-7 years since the incident and if you haven't heard anything? So I think it would be safe to carry on with your life and do all the things you've listed - most of all be happy! If you think you can.

    How much is the worry affecting you? Is it having a big impact on your day to day life or more like an underlying worry? I wonder if talking it out with somebody you trust or a helpline might ease the stress?

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • PoppyBPoppyB Posts: 152 Moderator
    Hey @ant6996 welcome to The Mix - I can hear from your post that this is quite an overwhelming issue for you, so well done on reaching out on the boards.

    I have moved your post into the Sex & Relationships forum so hopefully you can get more responses :)


  • ant6996ant6996 Posts: 6 Newbie
    @Lucy307 yes it's very distressing and thanks for understanding my concern. Yeah it's very serious isn't it and yeah definitely it can't be helped. That's okay no worries I understand and neither do I unfortunately, yes that's correct I definitely think it's been around that 6 to 7 years, I had a memory came up on Facebook that it was 8 years ago that I was asking for my friends usernames on kik on January 4th 8 years ago.  23 years old now and if it was 8 years ago I would have been 16 maybe 15. My birthday is in September on the 6th, unfortunately I just can't remember the exact date i sent over the picture and how old I was. I can't remember how old the profile of the girl was either, that's good to hear that you think I can. Could it have been someone trying to scam me or blackmail me maybe? I've read about these on Kik, I really want to be happy with my life and just move on. 

    It's a bit of both 50/50 and I would talk to my family about this but I'm really ashamed of that they will think of me and what if this was a serious threat 
  • ant6996ant6996 Posts: 6 Newbie
    @PoppyB yes it's very overwhelming and it's becoming too much now I'm really scared and worried and it's becoming too much for me now. Thank you for thinking I've done well and yeah that's okay sounds good I hope they can help me as well
  • AidanAidan Potato Posts: 1,358 Fanatical Poster
    Hey Ant, welcome to the Mix! 😊

    Personally as it's been so long and nothing has happened yet I think it could be unlikely it's going to go any further. I don't know about blackmail (did they want you to do something in return for not being found and arrested?) but it could have been a troll having fun by asking people for explicit photos and then threatening them.

    While sexting is illegal under 18, it's usually an non-issue especially when it's consensual. This person asked for the picture you sent so in that regard you did nothing wrong so try not to worry. 

    If it were me, I'd try and move on and in the probably unlikely event anything happens- it happens. You can't change the past, but you can still steer your future. How much luck have you had trying to move on? What are your thoughts and feelings the threat?

    I think it's good you've got a relationship and a life planned together and that's a very positive step in getting past this 😊

    Take care!
  • ant6996ant6996 Posts: 6 Newbie
    Hey Aidan 

    Okay that's good to hear glad you think so that does make me feel better about this, yeah I've heard nothing about this after all these years. They never said anything about that because after the threat I deleted the app straight away so couldn't have anymore contact with them! Yeah your probably right let's hope so this wouldn't have been the behaviour of a undercover police officer or something like that would it? 

    I have been trying to move on but had I just can't seem to do it and yeah I get you can't change the past and yeah I do hope I can. I'm a bit scared and confused about the whole situation to be honest. I really don't know what to do and don't think I can cope with this anymore to be honest with you! 

    Yeah I love my girlfriend so much and don't want to lose her, she's my world and my everything but I haven't told my family girlfriend or friends about this. 

    I do want to just don't know how to tell them about this, I can't do this anymore :( 
  • AidanAidan Potato Posts: 1,358 Fanatical Poster
    Yeah your probably right let's hope so this wouldn't have been the behaviour of a undercover police officer or something like that would it?

    In my opinion, I doubt it since they approached you first, and asked for an explicit image.

    It's your choice if you want to tell anyone about this, if you don't know how to tell them try writing it down or rehearsing it etc.

    Would you say the situation's been causing you anxiety? Do you feel anxious about other things too?

    It's been a few years since this happened so I was wondering if you've thought about whether you're suffering with anxiety in general and not just over this one event.

    All the best,
    Aidan
  • ant6996ant6996 Posts: 6 Newbie
    Yeah I'm sure they approached me first I don't remember texting them first! Yeah that's true good point didn't think of it like that, if I remember correctly they did ask for the picture as well. Like I would never ever send a picture of myself for no reason if you get what I mean. 

    Yeah that's a good idea I'll give that a try, sorry I can't remember too much information about this like ages of me and the profile. I know it's not helping out to give me some advice about what to do. 

    Yeah it's made me very anxious like everyday I've been thinking like what if the police are waiting for me when I get home from work or at the weekends what if they turn up at any moment. Your probably right I could be to be honest Aidan

    Many thanks

    Antony 
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 571 Extreme Poster
    Hey :) As others have said, it's been a long time and nothing has happened, so I don't think you need to worry! That person has probably forgotten about you, to be honest, just the thrill of it at the time. It sounds like you're still kicking yourself about it though - accept that you made a mistake and forgive yourself, so that you can move forwards and leave it in the past :)
  • ant6996ant6996 Posts: 6 Newbie
    Hello :) yeah that's correct it has been a long time and yeah I've not heard anything but that's to say I won't in the future?  Surley the thrill of it wouldn't be to say I will find you and I will arrest you? Yes I'm definitely doing that and I think I always will do, I don't think I can cope with this anymore to be honest. I really want to but don't think I can :( I want to move on but I'm really scared and worried
  • mags98mags98 Posts: 149 Moderator
    Hi @ant6996

    Sorry to hear the situation you are in. 

    Although sexting under 18 is illegal to send and receive, you as the person who sent it has more protection than the person who received it. And even though you are an adult now, if the image does get out you still have that protection because the image was made when you were a child. Which the possession and distribution of explicit under age content is a serious offence so if that person made them public they could be in a lot of trouble while you would be the victim of a crime.

    Police wise, I don't know the full system and laws with it but I don't think they can keep evidence/images for that amount of time without making an arrest or having a warrant especially with it being under age photos. I don't think it should be a cause of concern but I can imagine if I was in the same position I would be worried aswell so I understand your fear.

    If you want a full peace of mind, and if you're comfortable enough to do it, you could always use the live chat on the police website to ask about it, or something of a similar nature
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