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I don’t know what to do

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 47 Boards Initiate
in Health & Wellbeing
My best friend has a group of best friends she’s known since she was younger. For the past year in particular I’ve been struggling with my anxiety, I haven’t been meeting up with anyone, I told her to let me know when she’s next free instead of me always asking when I’m free 97% of the time anyway. Yet she never does, she’s either at work, with her bf, at college and when she is free she spends the time with her other mates. I have had to message her asking when she’s free but she never gets back to me. I wouldn’t be so pissed if I wasn’t trying to get back on track with going out and being around people especially when I felt most comfortable with her. And because she’s my best mate, I would assume she’d help me like mates are supposed to🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t really have other friends that I feel that comfortable with anymore and I don’t know what to do :( 
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Comments

  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,103 Boards Champion
    Hey :)

    If it feels like you're making all the effort and she isn't, then perhaps you aren't as high a priority for her as she is for you, and that can be hard to hear. Put it this way - if something is important to you, you'll make time for it/them. So she is prioritising other areas in her life. That doesn't necessarily mean that your friendship is over or anything, but that the importance you both place on it is uneven. 

    It's great that you've spoken to her about this - communication is key! But she hasn't changed, so I think it's best to accept that you might not be able to spend time together as you once did, and look for close friendship elsewhere. You're right - a good friend would try to help you, and for some reason it doesn't seem like she's going to do that for you. 

    I know it can be hard to take, and it may take some time to process and accept. But I think you're better off looking for what you want elsewhere. And it might not happen straight away, and there might be bumps in the road. But hopefully, in time you'll find friends that treat you more like how you want x

    Much love <3
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 47 Boards Initiate
    @Azziman Thank you :) I think I definitely needed to hear that so I know for certain I’m not overreacting and so that I have the reassurance I need. I think when I feel more comfortable and my anxiety is more controlled, I’ll start building stronger friendships and seeing people more often :) 

    Thank you❤️
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