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No point

SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
in Home, Law & Money
I never have any money. I get paid £200 a month and i give my dad money so basically have none to myself and need basic stuff for myself. Dont tell me to go get a job because i know. Im trying. Im too anxious and fml. 

I just really want to end myself. I see no way out anymore and im fed up. 
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    That must really suck. I'd love to give you mine but I guess that's not doable :( Is there anything in particular you're anxious about in terms of getting a job? I remember you saying you can't get a job as a peer support worker because of the problem you don't want to share - is that it, or...? <3
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited December 2019
    Yeah theres no point cause this is my life now. I cant get a job other than 4 hours even thats massive struggle. My life is ruined and i dont want to do this every single day with no way out. & i must have mug written all over me cause my older sister has asked me to buy her shoes that are £35 & jeans that are £13 and throw thats £15. And said "is that all youre getting me" are you fucking joking that £65 thats like all my months worth. And do you know what she ever gets me for christmas.... she got me some £5 jumper from an online shop called "everything £5" so fuck knows why im being stressed about it when you fucking work full time and i just have a few penny. Literally money i dont have cause i borrowing my sisters money. So everytime im going to fucking get paid. - guess where its going - to my sister and mydad cause owe them money. Fml i want things for myself i need things for myself like shampoo and basic fucking stuff and everyone fucking thinks i get money from fuck knows where. And i pay for someone for my sisyer on my card & a day later im like "you owe me a pound" shes like " are you serious". Yes in fucking serious that can pay for my shampoo cause i dont fucking have much and you always do this and if i never fucking ask for it back it will add up eventually. And you have ficking 6,000 sitting in your bank. All my sisters are fucking stingy and trying to rob me in bround day light i swear. And i swear myolder sister all she does it hint for free things. Like going out for a meal "are you going to pay" what with my £2 sitting in my bank. Yeah sure. Fuck off. And she comes round all the time and i swear it just to take all our food and hint money off from dad when wtf they gave u 5,000 for your house. Ive never got that money of mum or dad so fuck off and buy your fucking food and stop coming found to steal ours. Got a meal out today tho and my sister was like "would dad pay for this" no ofc not. He pays for 2 houses ffs. Youre 26 & have your own money. If i was a sister who has 6,000 in my bank with no need to spend any of it yet - then i would fucking stop trying to rob your sister who never has over £50 in there bank. Ffs. If anything id give them money for free cause no everyones life is as fuckinn simple as go out and get a job and fuckinf wish tbey fucking leave me alone and stop telling me im fucking lazy when they fucking have no idea. I just want to die i swear. I dotn fucking see the point anymore

    shall i do online gambling ?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Aww, that is unfair of your sisters, it's understand you're frustrated with it <3 You're definitely not lazy. I know it seems like there's no way out, but you won't be in this position forever. I'm sure there's a way the problem can be solved and some day soon you'll have much better pay and will be living a good life in general. Sending hugs.

    Online gambling is an interesting idea. On the one hand you could make some money, but on the other hand, you can end up losing a lot more money... Do you know of any sites where that wouldn't be a concern? <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Sorry to hear this Shaunie, sounds incredibly frustrating especially with your sisters treating you that way. Have you stopped them and had the conversation about your worries about money? I wonder if they are just too much in their own worlds to realise what they are saying/doing?! 

    I’m not sure on your situation but you know there are things like Job seekers allowance that can help if you are struggling? Sorry might not be helpful but thought I’d mention in case it is. 

    - Lucy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Hi Shanie
    I'm sorry to hear that this has been so difficult for you. From what you've said, it definitely sounds like you're sisters are being completely unfair and disrespectful towards you and how you are struggling financially at the moment. Have you spoken to them about their behaviour towards you?

    Online gambling has the potential to be helpful but is also incredibly risky and you can end up in debt or they can be end up getting addicted to them if you are sometimes successful. 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you but cause i googled online gambling it keeps coming up on my facebook now as an ad.  And gets tempting. 

    Ive got  £10 to last me just under 2 weeks. And when i get paid in two weeks. I have to give it all to my dad and sister. And then cause ill have no money. My sister will lend me it again. So then ill just forever owe her money which always happens. 😓. Which why only got £10. Is hers im borrowin lol. Fml
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited January 2020
    Ffs just remembered need to pay for perscrption this week. which is £9 so will have£1 lol fml   might need to ask my sister for money but may not give it to me. So so stressed. Need to print of my wage for low income top see if can get them for free. (Meds) May print it off tomorrow and post it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,103 Boards Champion
    Hey, really sorry to hear your situation - just to let you know that we're here for you x If you ever need any help on job hunting, interview advice etc, I'm happy to help - just give me a shout :) Really hope you can get that job soon and resolve this!x

    Much love <3
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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    😓
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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