Back to school

Former Member

so I was looking forward to going back school... but since the event I posted in sex and relationship about sexual assault I’m dreading it! Not only will I have to face my attacker but he’s spread rumours to majorly of the school that I had been making up a story about him assaulting me because we slept together and I regretted it! This isn’t true I said no and he didn’t listen.. but now even if my mum speaks to the school about moving me into a different class (he’s in most of my classes) the whole school will know what has happened but in a different context! 

I can’t face that I’ve already had a lot of horrible messages off a lot of people in my year.  I can’t go back there, I can’t face it all. I know a lot of people said that what he did wasn’t my fault but I just feel so guilty. 

Former Member

Aww, that's awful!

I understand not feeling able to go back. It sounds really upsetting for you.

You're better than him and the rumours, sending you hugs

Maisy

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear about the sexual assualt and that not only will you have to face your attacker at school but that he has spread rumours too.

I understand that you feel guilty but you have nothing to feel guilty for. If he is spreading rumours it's likely because he doesn't want to tarnish his reputation and instead wants to put the blame on you (rather than do the mature thing and take responsibility for his actions). Rumours can be very distorted and it can be very upsetting and stressful when you learn that you are part of a rumour. However, rumours can also be classed as bullying so if you hear or see anyone passing on the rumour, you can tell the teachers about it. I also hope that your mum is able to talk with the school and get you into separate classes away from your attacker. You have every right to feel safe at school.

As for the messages, keep them as a record so that if you need to talk to someone like your mum or a teacher, you have evidence of what's been said. You can also block or ignore people online. People who continue to spread rumours or make you feel bad for what happened are just as bad as the person who started the rumours in the first place and they aren't worth your time.

JustV

I can't relate to this specifically, but I can relate to dread of going back to school for other reasons. There's something naturally intimidating about it, even when you don't have other things to deal with like rumors or social anxiety. It can be quite a suffocating thing to experience.

I don't have anything new to add or personal experiences to share, but I wanted to reply to say we're all here in this with you. I second everything @Maisy said in the above response too - wise words.

People can really suck sometimes and you deserve more kindness than this.

When do you go back? And is moving classes something you'd like to happen? Keep us posted on what you're doing about everything.

Former Member

Thanks guys he’s quite well liked at school which is probably why most people believe him. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if the teacher don’t find out like everyone else. Moving classes would mean I don’t have to sit near him while learning but unfortunately it doesn’t stop me from seeing him around although I’ll be doing me best to avoid him.

I have kept all the messages being sent and there are a lot hopefully I can gather the courage to report it but I’m not quite there yet.

thank you Xx