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Rough week

Evelyn360Evelyn360 Posts: 82 Budding Regular
I've been having an off couple of weeks recently. I've pretty much been isolating myself as soon as I get home from work, I just dont have the energy to do anything or talk to anyone. My housemate has been gone for a few nights and I've just quit replying to peoples messages. I think some of my friends think I'm annoyed at them/ they're annoyed at me because of it but my housemate is back tomorrow and I know shes going to be questioning me as to why I've been ignoring her messages. 

I know they've been talking about me because she said they've been wondering why I'm ignoring them and I just don't have it in me to explain. I'm pretty good at masking how I feel but the last few nights where I've been by myself I've allowed myself to just wallow and do nothing. I'm not prepared for all the questions I'm going to get tomorrow and it makes me just want to sleep for a week. I wish my housemate wasn't coming back so I could just ignore everything for longer. 


  • Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    Hey @Evelyn360

    I can see how much this is affecting you, the way you are feeling is totally understandable. Sometimes our mask comes off, that's just how humans work. It's okay to feel this way sometimes and people shouldn't judge you for your actions ❤️ Equally, it's  hard for people to understand and questions will be asked if they do not know what is going on. This doesn't mean you have to tell them though, that choice is yours and yours only to make when you feel ready. Letting people know you are okay though, is good to reassure your friends not to worry. In the past when I have been sat dwelling on my own thoughts, I have written them down on a piece of paper to leave for whoever I wanted to see it. This way, it lets them know what is going on but doesn't require multiple questions being asked upfront. Is this something you could maybe try if you felt able? Xx 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit

    im glad you're posting this here cause isolating your self can feel horrible. 
    I really relate to this and empathise with how that could feel

    i isolate myself a lot & ignore messages - my whole Social media I haven't replied to my old friends for months.  
    I think the first way to go about it is to self reflect and to think about you you're doing it. I think for me it's a lot of mixed reasons - the main one being I don't really trust many people and feel they would hurt me so I can speak with people but can't build on that. Still trying to work on it. I also just feel not deserving of it or people will judge me and all stressful. 

    Once finding out the reason - it's good to try to reason with the reason. Like for me I try to remember - some people can hurt me - but most people will not hurt that much. And even if they did loneliness and how isolating makes me feel hurts more 

    it can help when people know how youre feeling snd they can be more understanding but that's obviously not something you need to tell them but to do what feels most comfortable for you. 

    We will Be here to help you explore how you feel and listen to you <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Evelyn360Evelyn360 Posts: 82 Budding Regular
    Thank you @Mia_moo and @Shaunie <3

    That's actually a really interesting way of looking at it Shaunie, I think I actually do that a lot. I do have trust issues with people and I dont like opening up to them because I feel like people do let me down. I've never really thought that's probably why I shut people out a lot when I go through waves that are hard to hide. I dont think people understand me and I dont want them to judge me as much as I judge myself. 

    Equally I feel like this is my burden to bare and I dont want to put my happiness on them and feel responsible the way I do for other people. 

    I'm not sure I'd want to write things down and tell them how I feel @Mia_moo, but I guess I do need to reply to them and come up with something to stop them being annoyed. I dont feel comfortable letting people in but it's nice to be able to on here with you guys  <3 
  • Han93Han93 Posts: 309 The Mix Regular

    Hi @Evelyn360

    Sorry you've been feeling this way - I just wanted to send you hugs <3

    Sometimes we need some time to ourselves - especially if we're at work all day. I think it's just important to remember that your friends are probably talking because they are worried about you, maybe they think they've done something wrong or that you're struggling with something at the moment. So it could be useful to just check in with them and tell them that you're ok but just need some time to yourself and you will chat to them again when you're feeling more up to it?

    I think you said your housemate will be back now - I was just wondering how your conversation with them went?

  • Evelyn360Evelyn360 Posts: 82 Budding Regular
    Hi @Han93

    My housemate decided to stay out another night so I didn't see her till today which actually helped because between having an extra day and having to go to work it gave me a chance to put my walls back up so to speak. 

    I told her I didn't feel like talking about it and flipped it back on how her time away was and just focused on that instead. I think she knows I go through phases because we've lived with each other before and she said that shes always there if I want to talk. I just dont like the idea of letting people in my head and knowing how bad things really get. Once you tell people you cant just close pandora's box, you know? It feels like I give a part of myself away and not in a relief, weight off my chest sort of way. Like the bad times and the darkness are what I know and to share that with someone face to face or with someone I actually know it feels like I lose a part of myself. 
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