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FoxtrottingLima
Posts: 1 Just got here
At the moment, I feel stuck. Have this job that's so unfulfilling and stressful at the same time. Been trying to find different work, but coming back after two weeks off has really reminded how horrid this job makes me feel. Most weekends, after five days of non-stop bullshit in the workplace, I drone myself in booze to forget about how I really feel. But I think the booze is starting to really affect me mentally and physically.
My family is quite the story too, and quite a confusing one. Just thinking about the whole situation gives me a headache. Maybe I'll talk about it in another post. I know for a fact that it's a massive source of stress in my life, and not being about to do anything about it make it feel even worse.
With it being my birthday the other week, it reminded me of why I don't really celebrate the day. Tried to organize something with a group of 'friends' considered close, and some work colleagues. Everyone bailed on me. Again. It really bothered me and made me feel really horrible. I guess this was the trigger for what I'm sort of feeling right now. The next day, I really wanted to go out. So met up with some people I haven't met in a while, and let's just say maybe I had too much to drink. And stayed out a little too late. It's a way to self-medicate I guess.
Right now, my symptoms are quite aggressive. Have a tension-type headache, like theirs a lot of pressure in my head. Try or organize myself, but never really do anything, except going to the gym. Haven't been able to sleep properly, and since coming back to work I just feel tired like all the time now. Also, feel like I'm constanly shaking (tremor-like), but I don't think I am (maybe it's in my head).
Not sure if any of this made sense, as I just feel like I'm a complete mess at the moment. I guess I just want somewhere or someone to speak to, as I feel like I can't talk to anyone right now. I'll be browsing the forums a bit more, and have a look at everyone else's introductions in the meantime.
My family is quite the story too, and quite a confusing one. Just thinking about the whole situation gives me a headache. Maybe I'll talk about it in another post. I know for a fact that it's a massive source of stress in my life, and not being about to do anything about it make it feel even worse.
With it being my birthday the other week, it reminded me of why I don't really celebrate the day. Tried to organize something with a group of 'friends' considered close, and some work colleagues. Everyone bailed on me. Again. It really bothered me and made me feel really horrible. I guess this was the trigger for what I'm sort of feeling right now. The next day, I really wanted to go out. So met up with some people I haven't met in a while, and let's just say maybe I had too much to drink. And stayed out a little too late. It's a way to self-medicate I guess.
Right now, my symptoms are quite aggressive. Have a tension-type headache, like theirs a lot of pressure in my head. Try or organize myself, but never really do anything, except going to the gym. Haven't been able to sleep properly, and since coming back to work I just feel tired like all the time now. Also, feel like I'm constanly shaking (tremor-like), but I don't think I am (maybe it's in my head).
Not sure if any of this made sense, as I just feel like I'm a complete mess at the moment. I guess I just want somewhere or someone to speak to, as I feel like I can't talk to anyone right now. I'll be browsing the forums a bit more, and have a look at everyone else's introductions in the meantime.
2
Comments
It sounds like you're going through a rough time at the moment and feeling unfulfilled in your current job. It's a positive step that you're looking to switch, I know it can be frustrating when it doesn't seem like there is somewhere else to go straight away but new jobs are popping up all the time and i have faith something will turn up
When you say when drink a lot, I think it's a positive sign that you're able to identify that the amounts you're drinking are not having a good impact on your wellbeing. Are there other ways you can think of to help distract yourself instead of leaning towards alcohol? Sometimes I find something to binge watch on tv even if I'm not really watching it or read a book, are these things you could try?
With regards to tricky family situations, this is something I can relate to and am trying to work through myself. I find writing can be quite helpful even if it's just a little to help me understand what's going on subconsciously. A lot of the time I feel confused and my head gets stuffy trying to compartmentalise everything and when i write i discover things i didn't even know I felt.
I'm sorry you had a rubbish time with your birthday, it's not nice to feel let down. Have you tried talking to your friends about how this has made you feel?
I hope you find The Mix a safe place for you to come to terms with how you're feeling in a supportive way. We're all here to listen to what you have to say.
Take care,
Evelyn