I had an abortion

Former Member

Hi all, 

I’m pretty new to this, but looking for some support. I had an abortion on Monday, and I know in my heart of hearts that it was the right decision for me, but I wasn’t expecting to feel so empty afterwards. Was just wondering whether anyone else has had a similar experience/know someone who has? 

Thanks in advance!

Former Member

Hey Gem and welcome x

I personally have not had this experience so far. 

I just wanted to pop by and tell you that it's perfectly fine to feel this way,  you may be able to find some forums based around it. 

There is also all the services the mix provide, such as 1-2-1 chat you can find on the get support page. 

The abortion service you used may also be available to talk to regarding post feelings. 

We're all here for you

Former Member

Hi @Gem24

You’re in the right place – here at The Mix we do our best to listen and support you with any difficulties you might be facing. Everything you post is totally anonymous and free of judgement.   

It sounds like you’re going through a tough time right now, but what is important is that you made the right decision for yourself. While I don’t have personal experience of abortion, I have supported several friends through theirs and I think the feeling of emptiness you describe is fairly common. You are definitely not alone. 

I can't imagine how you must be feeling, but I wanted you to know I'm proud of you. You're allowed to mourn or feel nothing at all, or a combination of both. Just because you made the choice doesn't mean you can't have feelings about it besides relief. Abortion is a decision that no one really wants to make, and you're a very strong individual for doing what you feel is best for you. 

If you feel as though you need to talk to a professional about this, Brook provide excellent resources for under 25s. I think they can even set you up with a counsellor if that’s something you feel would be beneficial. 

I hope this has been helpful but please feel free to keep posting - we're all here for you. 

JustV

I don't have anything add here - I haven't been in this situation and I don't know anyone who has. I just wanted to second everything @Past User said and reassure you that you have support here whenever you need it. It takes a lot of courage to be you right now @Gem24 and well done for finding your way to us.

Past User

I recently applied for the mix's counselling service and abortion was one of the options you can choose on a list of issues. It might be worth applying for some sessions too. It suggests to me that they know how best to approach it, and professional help can go a really long way. 

Sorry I cant be of more help than that, I hope you feel better soon.

Former Member

Hi @Gem24

Just wanted to send you hugs and echo what @Past User has said! I also have a close friend that has had an abortion and experienced similar feelings to you so I think it is natural but I think talking through it with people really helped her so hopefully you find that too.

Have you got any friends/family members that you can talk to?

We have a couple of articles on The Mix which you might find worth a read:

https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/abortion/recovering-after-an-abortion-4474.html

https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/abortion/dealing-with-an-abortion-4471.html

Former Member

Hi @Gem24,

           It's very good that you wrote here, you shouldn't keep inside whatever you feel cause it's difficult and I know it. I didn't have and abortion but I had misbirth and I felt so bad that I even couldn't talk about it. It took me a year to start to spill it out and it was wrong. So I really advice you to talk about it, here there are a lot of people who are ready to read all your posts and support you,or maybe just to tell you that some of us really understand what you're going through, so you are not alone. And believe me due to time your feelings about it will change..especially if you think that you consider it as a right choice. I hope you feel better now and if you have something else to tell just do it 

Former Member

Hi all,

Sorry it’s been radio silence from me- I ended up having a stay in hospital because there was complications with the termination.

It’s been a real trauma and I’m so grateful to read your posts with information, advice, and understanding. I never realised that there was this really supportive community on here! 

My ‘partner’ has been pretty emotionally abusive too, and haven’t wanted to use my phone so it’s so lovely to log on and a see some lovely but messages for a change.

Just would like to escape from my situation at the moment. It’s ridiculously hard trying to get back to normality but it’s really good to know that I’m not alone in this. People around me keep saying I should put this experience into a ‘box’ and move on, but it’s not that easy and I feel like I’m going crazy so you’ve all been so reassuring. 

Thanks again lovely people! 😊❤️

Former Member

Just wanted to pop by to send you some hugs 

Salix 

Former Member

Hi @Gem24, 
I have just caught up on your thread and wanted to send you lots of hugs
You absolutely did the right thing by talking to The Mix about how you are feeling and I am so glad you feel supported here. You really do deserve to

I really understand that it's not as easy as "putting it in a box and moving on", so I wanted to let you know that there is absolutely no pressure for you to feel better again straight away. You can take all of the time you need - no matter what anyone else tells you. It sounds like it has been a really challenging situation, but the fact you've been able to open up about it on here shows real strength and courage. We are here for you

You mentioned your 'partner' has been emotionally abusive and I want you to know that nobody deserves to be treated like that. Would you like to talk any more about this at all? In the meantime, The Mix has a really good article here about emotional abuse in relationships, including advice about how to get out of an abusive situation and some links to the support available (scroll down to the bottom of the article). I really hope it helps in some way. 

We are all here for you. Take good care

Former Member

Hi Gem,
I don't know why i have only just seen this thread. I hope you are coping ok as you can now?
2 years ago I went through an abortion and was left very alone and traumatized from it. I suffered from phantom pregnancy for a few months after and it was horrible. 
Abortion is something very difficult to go through and experience and I really do feel for you. I'm sorry you had complications with yours and I hope everything is ok now.
I was wondering if you knew much about Marie Stopes UK?
They offer a counselling service/ support line for after abortions. You can reach out at any time if you need to. If you feel you need support with how you are feeling/ coping, don't be afraid to reach out here: https://www.mariestopes.org.uk/other-services/counselling/

Azziman

Welcome!x