I avoid seeing friends when they invite everyone out for drinks. Awkard reason

Former Member

so bassically some of my friends invite me out evenings m. I’m ussually free but I’m afraid to go out because I don’t drink. 

So I’ve never drunk anything. However my friend of friend asked my friend and me if we wanted to go to pub to get a drink. So I joined with my friend however felt awkard becuse j was the only one that didn’t drink. My friend had to go and as I didn’t have a time limit the friend of my friend asked if I wanted to stay. I was too embarrassed to say because I feel pubs are basically drinking areas and feel like you should only be there if your drinking. The reason I don’t drink is because being type 1 diabetic is I’m scared it would make me go into a bad hypo )since it lowers your blood sugar) which is dangeorus for others and also because I cycle. So I left at the same time lying saying i forgot my bike lights and needed to go home.  Since then I’ve been turning down these invitations which feels like I’m missing out on a opportunity 
I really want to join in but am afraid that I’ll either get pushed into drinking or bullied because I don’t drink and feel embarrassed.

Skive

Having Type 1 diabetes shouldn't preclude you from having a drink if that's what you wanted. And even if you don't want to drink then you should feel comfortable at a bar in or in a pub. Pubs are as much a place to socialise as they are a place to drink.

Some more info on alcohol vs diabetes

https://www.diabetes.org.uk/guide-to-diabetes/young-adults/type-1-drinking

Former Member

I understand you feel embarrassed about not drinking in a pub/bar, but there's nothing weird about staying sober if that is your preference. It sounds like you really want to go out and spend time with these people, but you are being stopped by your worries around drinking

 The information provided by @Skive is worth checking out if having a drink or two is something you want to do, as it might help solve some of your worries about diabetes. If you don't want to drink at all there should be no pressure put on you to drink.

I can understand feeling awkward not drinking when those around you are. However, pubs aren't just drinking areas they are places for socialising; which you can do sober or not. It sounds like you are getting invited along often because your friends want to spend time with you. Have they ever done anything that might make you think they'd judge you for not drinking?

You mention that you might be pressured into drinking, I can understand why you'd be worried about something like that, especially if you don't know the people you are hanging out with that well. It's important we recognise our limits, whether that be three drinks, one drink, or none, and it's important that other people respect our limits. If the people with you ask why you aren't drinking(or offer to get you a drink) something you could try doing is just being honest, take a couple of seconds to explain briefly why you don't drink.

Former Member

I think if you said this to your frienda, if they were good enough friends they would understand. Dont be pressured into something you dont want to do x

Former Member

You don't have to drink to go to a pub or bar

If you don't want to drink but want to hang out you can get coke,  orange juice. Water, virgin cocktails etc. 

I only have the one weak rum and coke and that's it as I don't drink out,  they make them too strong for me and I rarely drink,  prefer the occasional NKD at home haha

So I stick with cola mostly. 

If you want to have a drink or two you can,  if you don't then you can still join in,  your friends should understand  

Former Member

I don't drink either but out of personal choice. For me it depends on the kind of bar/pub or the occasion whether I go out for drinks.

If it is obviously just for a chat/ to celebrate something or even for a meal then i would defo go. Or in the day time its unlikely they would drink much. And i would go with friends i am familar with and are close to.
If its a bar or pub crawl obviously out to get drunk and wrecked, or a night club i wouldnt go. 
Maybe they are doing something beforehand if not could you take intiative and arrange something. Or just stay for a short have one drink that is non alcoholic or even some food say crisps you can buy. If you already have something its less likely someone will ask you. If you think people are starting to get drunk you can always leave earlier.

Find someone who doesnt drink for whatever reasons or get someone else to be sober if possible. And yeah you dont always need to go out. Also be in the mindset not to drink and find others like you generally then the pressure will be less. Learn how to say no, it takes a lot of will power but you can. And be familar with people tell them what your preferences are beforehand so they are less likely to pressure you if possible though it isnt always the right thing.  Especially if you have a direct reason not too people are much less likely to force you to do so, unlike pure choice not to, having a condition is something most people will respect for sure.

I can understand if you dont however want to go out for drinks, its really up to you whether you do and perhaps you can make alternative arrangements or hint something else or go once in a blue moon to show you are being friendly if you really want to. 
If you end up at the pub with only one other person after others leave you could always ask to walk and go somewhere else or just hang out outside at least if its possible. In the end pubs and such are just socialising locations.

Azziman

Hey

I think that a good friend would rather spend time with you, than put drinks first! They're probably asking you to come along to chill and hang out, but a lot of people aren't too fussed whether you drink, smoke etc - they just want to spend time together. Don't worry if you don't want to drink - you can get a soft drink/water if that's what you want, and that's okay About being scared in being forced to drink, remember that a good friend would respect your boundaries. If you feel like you're being forced in doing something you don't want to do, you can always walk out. Unless they are known for being dodgy, go and spend time with your friends! Or, if you don't like the pub, you can organise something else like going out for dinner insteadx

Much love

Former Member

@Past User Hi I hope you're okay, I'm sorry you're struggling. You should never feel the pressure to drink , you are doing the right thing and not drinking for your own health and people should not have a problem with that. Do you think at your next social event you could let the host know beforehand or order something that will not affect your health? I hope you can solve dilemma.

Former Member

maryam852 wrote: »

@Past User Hi I hope you're okay, I'm sorry you're struggling. You should never feel the pressure to drink , you are doing the right thing and not drinking for your own health and people should not have a problem with that. Do you think at your next social event you could let the host know beforehand or order something that will not affect your health? I hope you can solve dilemma.

i think mods might come after you for replying to a early thread but have a nice day

Former Member

I appreciate you reaching out to help @maryam852 ! It was so kind of you to reach post here and offer your thoughts and advice. The original post is from a couple years ago so I have closed this thread. It's important to make sure to check the dates on posts before your post, we try avoid bringing back discussion from years ago as the oringal poster may no longer need advice on whatever they were posting about, or might not want it brought back up again.