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Can't care less

sozforhappysozforhappy Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
in Sex & Relationships
I'm extremely tired of my parents nagging me about leaving my bag open and showing my valuables in public. It's not like I mean to show them, my parents have no right to get mad at me. I really don't care less if people see, I'm tougher than I seem, anyone dares touches my stuff will be knocked flying I swear to God. I don't care why my parents get so cross about this, I just want their attitude to stop. They have no right to get cross for stuff I don't intend to do. I hate that they care more about consequences than whether it was intended or not, especially with this. They just carry on if I try to tell them and give reasons to back up their behaviour which I don't want to hear. They could at least warn me about these things in a less unpleasant way. No wonder I always act so care-free and stubborn, they're so hard on me about everything.

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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    Hi,

    im sorry to hear you are annoyed. Your parents obviously care for you and want to help you as they don’t want you to be mugged or robbed. Try and be appreciative of their kindness as that so their intention. I have read quite a lot of your threads and it seems that you are having difficulty seeing things from others point of view? Would you say this is fair? I don’t think they are trying to be hard on you I think they are trying to warn you or any dangers etc so your valuables don’t get stolen. A
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    sozforhappysozforhappy Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    edited June 2019
    Jellyelephant said:
    Hi,

    im sorry to hear you are annoyed. Your parents obviously care for you and want to help you as they don’t want you to be mugged or robbed. Try and be appreciative of their kindness as that so their intention. I have read quite a lot of your threads and it seems that you are having difficulty seeing things from others point of view? Would you say this is fair? I don’t think they are trying to be hard on you I think they are trying to warn you or any dangers etc so your valuables don’t get stolen. A
    Well they can care is a less harsh way. They're not being kind at all talking to me in a hard tone of voice as if I intend to to such things when I don't. Care and meanness don't go together. I hate how somebody can genuinely care by being mean. Why must I see things from their perspective, they don't deserve that at all! In my world it's always about me, I'm the one being hurt and upsetted and made angry and they're the ones hurting me. I'm grown up, they've no right to tell me off and fuss at me and protect me like a child and just let me stick to my own mannerisms and principles and coping techniques. Don't take on their side and agree with them bothering me, I won't have that either! They don't own me whether they're still my parents or not, I couldnt help that they raised me up!
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    You wanted advice and I’m giving it to you. It’s not my fault if you don’t agree with my advice. Telling you not to have your valuables on display isn’t mean, it’s them trying to help you and point out the dangers so you can look after yourself better. When you say it’s always about you .... you need to think about this and try and understand that that is a selfish point of view. You can’t get your own way all the time and everyone doesn’t have to agree with you. It’s important to look at other people’s point of view not just your own. They have good intentions so you should listen to them and let them help. 
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,851 Extreme Poster
    Hey :)

    I can understand you might not like their tone, but the essence of what they are saying is right, and they clearly care about you a great deal! It's good practice to keep your valuables hidden. I'm not able to judge whether you can take someone on, but that's not the point they are trying to make. Leaving your valuables on display invites someone to try and steal it - rather than having to hold off someone, it's far better to simply keep valuables away from sight and not invite the trouble.

    Your parents don't want you to get hurt, or lose your valuables. I don't see any malice in what they say - instead, they are trying to make sure that you are safex

    Much love <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    edited June 2019
    Despite the title - it sounds like you care a lot about it all. Hear is frustating. 

    Thats your chioce - how you have your bag. You do whatever. Great you want to do your own stuff ! & Maybe you can learn If you ever get your valuables stolen / consequences of stuff and that will help your independance.  But you can listen to peoples views without getting so angry. :) and being completly rude is not appropriate either 🙃


    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    sozforhappysozforhappy Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Ok my main point here is talkin to me in a harsh strict way for something I don't intend to do and never see coming that I'm actually doing it! I hate that they're nasty because they care. Again they can care in a less mean and more comfortable way, like simply pointing that my wallet or phone is sticking out or slipping it back in for me etc rather than speak that way and tell me off. 
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    Unknown23Unknown23 Posts: 1 Just got here
    edited June 2019
    Look I understand what you are saying yeah parents can seem like they are being mean and they only want to rule your life, I thought the same but you know what? I grew up and realised parents don't tell you to do things to be mean or annoying or to hurt you they tell you because they don't want things getting lost, stolen, or you getting hurt! Everyone thinks yes I am tough and yes you probably are I'm not doubting that what Im saying is you don't know what's around the corner you don't know what's in someone else's pocket.

    Back to the point. 

    If your parents didn't love you you wouldn't have the things you have now ln fact you would be able to do what ever you want because that means they wouldnt care they work hard going to work and buying you these things and keeping the heating on and making sure you have food and clean clothes all this cost and it's hard but yano what they won't tell you that because its standerd it's something that needs to be done and they have taken a lot of shit moaning shouting hitting biting from you that you won't know about the because again its standerd so do yourself a favour and give them a break they are only doing what's best for you and they shout and have a attitude because you obviously don't listen when they tell you calmly.

    Also if you are posting I understand your ranting but if you ask for advice don't get pissed off because you someone don't agree with you. They didn't deserve that. Again you don't always know who your talking to. 
    Post edited by JustV on
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    edited June 2019
    Okay 

    never know what it is like for the actual person or how people are actually like or full thing just by a post - so i will say that i hear you feel your family become mean in the way they speak. It can be a horrible astphome to be around. There are things that could be said in a better way so its a shame they dont say in better way. 

    Whether you want advice or not  -- youre on a public forum and should respect peoples opinions on what youre saying and cant pick and choose what views you want. Otherwise maybe need different support
    Post edited by JustV on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,306 Part of The Furniture
    edited June 2019
    @sozforhappy if you post on a public forum, you will get opinions that differ from yours and that's something you need to be okay with if you're going to use this space. The fact that everyone here has such a diverse range of life experiences and opinions is what makes communities like this so valuable and interesting. Nobody can judge you if you want your views reinforced, but that's not what this forum is for.

    Maybe you're not in the right headspace to see this, but the people talking to you here are genuinely trying to help you. The members in this thread, some of whom have been part of this community for years, are here in large part because they want to help people in their free time. We're not out to get you - you deserve support for whatever's going on for you and the people here are trying to give that to you.

    Aggression of any kind is not okay and we take great care in making sure everyone here feels safe. If you do want to be a member of The Mix community, take some time to consider whether you can have respectful conversations with people who think differently to you. If you can't or if you don't want to hear opinions from other people, that's okay, but in that case you're better off using other support services to get what you need.

    I've made a few edits to the posts in this thread and closed it. Thank you to everyone who contributed calmly and respectfully. :)
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
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