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My friend might be being bullied? How to stop it?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 146 Helping Hand
in Sex & Relationships
Hello x

I have been friends with a girl K for a while and she is quite selfish and only cares about herself and her boyfriend (she relies on us until she finds another boy). Still, she is nice and supportive as she has mental health issues too which we talk about.

My Best Friend T used to be friend with K. When they were friends they did used to hit each other for fun however I did notice how hard K slapped T. She used to do it in a 'jokey' way however you could see when K was mad at T she would slap her really hard.

They have kind of broke apart but still mutual friends. K still hits T in a 'jokey' way. The other day, T started her period and was walking funny so K asked what was up. T said. In class K asked T to borrow a pen and T said no, as K never has her own stuff. K said 'if you don't give me one, I will tell the boys you started your period' they started fighting as K started to grab Ts stuff, then a teacher walked in but T never told.

I don't know what to do as I don't want K to hate me as things could go wrong for me like T however I feel T needs help.

Thanks in advance for any help!
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 487 Listening Ear
    Hi @ClaraOswald (great username btw!)

    I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. <3 It's understandable that you would be uncomfortable in a situation involving two friends who clearly aren't getting along. 

    I think it's important in all relationships to set boundaries. For me, hitting is definitely one of them. It's never okay to hit someone, even if it's in a 'jokey' way. Actions like that tend to escalate unless they're nipped in the bud. I think you should talk to your friend T and make sure she's alright, let her know that you've seen K's behaviour and it's upsetting you as well. She might feel better knowing she's not alone. Once she knows she has your support, maybe she'll feel better reporting the behaviour to a teacher or her parents. 
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,103 Boards Champion
    Hey :)

    I think it can be difficult to tell sometimes. I'd ask your friend and see what she thinks, to be sure!x

    Much love <3
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 88 Budding Regular
    Hi Clara,

    Firstly, it's completely understandable that you feel like you don't know what to do and you have done the right thing by talking about this. :) 

    Am I right in thinking that you are finding it difficult being 'in the middle' of your two friends? I was wondering if you have tried talking to either of your friends about the concerns that you have?

    https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/friendship/bored-of-banter-when-banter-turns-to-bullying-31041.html. This article might help you navigate the difference between 'banter' and bullying, helping you to recognise what might be going on between your friends. 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Hey 

    Thanks for sharing. You're doing well to seek support on how to support your two friends. 

    I can hear how it can be hard to know what to do, which leaves you feeling stuck. You sound like you may have already thought a lot about it. But thinking about your options and the pros and cons of them is a great place to start and I am sure you will make the decision you feel is right atm. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    Hello and thanks to all that replied, I was reading them ❤️
    I let my friend T know I didn't like the way K was acting but she thought it was fine, just something K did. I said we can go to a teacher together but she said she was good. 
    Someday around now I will tell K but I do feel 'in the middle' so I might leave her for now, just because I dont want her to be mad at me.
    I think I should leave it there for now, and thanks guys for helping me make that desision, but if it gets worse I will tell.
    Thankyou 😀
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