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My friend might be being bullied? How to stop it?

ClaraOswaldClaraOswald TardisPosts: 146 Helping Hand
Hello x

I have been friends with a girl K for a while and she is quite selfish and only cares about herself and her boyfriend (she relies on us until she finds another boy). Still, she is nice and supportive as she has mental health issues too which we talk about.

My Best Friend T used to be friend with K. When they were friends they did used to hit each other for fun however I did notice how hard K slapped T. She used to do it in a 'jokey' way however you could see when K was mad at T she would slap her really hard.

They have kind of broke apart but still mutual friends. K still hits T in a 'jokey' way. The other day, T started her period and was walking funny so K asked what was up. T said. In class K asked T to borrow a pen and T said no, as K never has her own stuff. K said 'if you don't give me one, I will tell the boys you started your period' they started fighting as K started to grab Ts stuff, then a teacher walked in but T never told.

I don't know what to do as I don't want K to hate me as things could go wrong for me like T however I feel T needs help.

Thanks in advance for any help!
My feelings are bigger on the inside.
 "I do what i do because it's right... and above all its KIND" - the 12th Doctor 💕
The joy is worth the pain.



  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling DurhamPosts: 487
    Hi @ClaraOswald (great username btw!)

    I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. <3 It's understandable that you would be uncomfortable in a situation involving two friends who clearly aren't getting along. 

    I think it's important in all relationships to set boundaries. For me, hitting is definitely one of them. It's never okay to hit someone, even if it's in a 'jokey' way. Actions like that tend to escalate unless they're nipped in the bud. I think you should talk to your friend T and make sure she's alright, let her know that you've seen K's behaviour and it's upsetting you as well. She might feel better knowing she's not alone. Once she knows she has your support, maybe she'll feel better reporting the behaviour to a teacher or her parents. 
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Community Champion Posts: 1,264 Wise Owl
    Hey :)

    I think it can be difficult to tell sometimes. I'd ask your friend and see what she thinks, to be sure!x

    Much love <3
  • alice123alice123 Posts: 88 The answer to life, the universe, and everything
    Hi Clara,

    Firstly, it's completely understandable that you feel like you don't know what to do and you have done the right thing by talking about this. :) 

    Am I right in thinking that you are finding it difficult being 'in the middle' of your two friends? I was wondering if you have tried talking to either of your friends about the concerns that you have?

    https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/friendship/bored-of-banter-when-banter-turns-to-bullying-31041.html. This article might help you navigate the difference between 'banter' and bullying, helping you to recognise what might be going on between your friends. 
  • SiobhanSiobhan Posts: 14,442 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix

    Thanks for sharing. You're doing well to seek support on how to support your two friends. 

    I can hear how it can be hard to know what to do, which leaves you feeling stuck. You sound like you may have already thought a lot about it. But thinking about your options and the pros and cons of them is a great place to start and I am sure you will make the decision you feel is right atm. 
    “ i think that deep down you still think life is worth living. It’s no where near over for you. You’re in pain. The thing you lost, Is the same thing that can stop that pain”
  • ClaraOswaldClaraOswald TardisPosts: 146 Helping Hand
    Hello and thanks to all that replied, I was reading them ❤️
    I let my friend T know I didn't like the way K was acting but she thought it was fine, just something K did. I said we can go to a teacher together but she said she was good. 
    Someday around now I will tell K but I do feel 'in the middle' so I might leave her for now, just because I dont want her to be mad at me.
    I think I should leave it there for now, and thanks guys for helping me make that desision, but if it gets worse I will tell.
    Thankyou 😀
    My feelings are bigger on the inside.
     "I do what i do because it's right... and above all its KIND" - the 12th Doctor 💕
    The joy is worth the pain.

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