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Borderline Personality Disorder? - Maintaining Relationships?

CapreseSaladCapreseSalad Posts: 1 Just got here
edited May 2019 in Sex & Relationships
Hi everyone. I'm new to this whole thing, and haven't yet been officially diagnosed with BPD, but my therapist has suggested that I most likely have it (need more therapy sessions before a proper diagnosis).
I have since been researching BPD and I felt like it fit me to a T. I don't like self-diagnosing, and know I should get proper diagnosing before confirming I have it. These symptoms have been present since around November 2017 (after I was sexually assaulted), and worsened after March last year (when I discovered repressed memories of said assault.) I have always been an overly emotional person growing up.
Anyway, I'm not here for that. I'm here for advice regarding maintaining friendships.
I often find myself self-destructing friendships. Sometimes it'll be over something minor, like an argument or a comment that was said, and I need to know how I can stop this. I need to know how I can stop splitting on everyone. It feels terrible and I often disassociate myself from reality while the splitting happens and then when I come back to reality I feel awful. I'm 16, still at high school, and sometimes it makes for nightmarish situations at school. I really hate this feeling and I've been doing it for over a year now, but never thought about the actual damage and never thought it was because of mental illness. 
Also has anyone taken medication for mood stabilising? How does it affect you? Does it subdue your personality or make you less interesting?

Post edited by Italia on


  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster

    Welcome to the boards :) I'm afraid I don't think I'll be of much help in this area, but I just saw your thread and wanted to bump it so that it will hopefully get some answers.

    I'm really sorry you're going through this, it sounds incredibly difficult.

    We're here for you <3
  • Han93Han93 Posts: 309 The Mix Regular

    Hi @CapreseSalad

    The Mix has a couple of articles that you might find useful about BPD: https://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/personality-disorders

    Mind also has a great section on their website with lots of tips for those with BPD including plenty of self care ideas which you might fancy having a go at: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/self-care-for-bpd/#.XPEv9eTsb6s

    Have you told your teachers about your BPD? It could be great to have a chat with them so they're aware of what you're going through and can give you a bit of flexibility so if you feel yourself getting angry they can let you leave the classroom and go to a different environment to calm down and use some of the self care ideas on Mind

  • ItaliaItalia Posts: 207 Trailblazer
    Hey @CapreseSalad,

    Thanks for sharing what your going through, I know these things aren't always easy to talk about. You have done a wonderful job describing what you are going through there. New diagnosis are always a scary time, and I am sure you have so many questions. You have done the right thing to reach out here. Hopefully other people with more experience can chip in

    In the meantime it sounds like your doing some good reading about BPD and you have a really good idea of what's going on for you. Sometimes, having awareness of what is happening is the biggest challenge. There is a lot of information out there on the internet, and it can be a little daunting to read through. 

    The Mix has some good articles about BPD like this one. I am not sure if they are going to answer your specific questions, but there is also a good list of organisations at the moment, where you can get some reliable information from such as Mind. 

    I hope your doing okay, and as @kathleen0172 said, we're here for you, your not alone. :)

    “People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.”
    Brene Brown

  • SophiASophiA Posts: 59 Boards Initiate
    Hey @CapreseSalad

    Thank you for sharing this with us, so i dont have much expertise in this area either at all and unfortunately dont know how to ‘stop’ the behaviour you have spoken about. but i can give some suggestions based on what i have learnt through previous and present friendships and people in general. people especially friends are usually very understanding and being open with them can help them understand why you might push them away sometimes (although only share information if/ when you feel comfortable). Also apologising (not for how you feel/ felt) but just for being distant for abit/ pushing them away can help rekindle friendships you think you have lost. 
    These are a couple of suggestions that have helped me in the past when i have argued with my friends, however everyone’s situation is different but by talking to us and your therapist, you’re taking good steps forward. 

    I hope some of this has helped and i hopefully some with more experience in the area will be able to offer some extra support.
  • ValerialettoValerialetto Posts: 87 Budding Regular

    Hello @CapreseSalad,

           Thank you for sharing your thoughts it's really good to spill out.

                For sure, you do not feel good about this diagnosis and you see its consequences in your life...but let me tell you something. A lot of people without BPD have problems in relationship/ friendship/ communication with parents etc., so why do you think that that's the reason of your problems?
                I've read perfect phrase once "we are who we believe we are", so I don't want to tell that you don't have BPD, I'm not an expert, I just want to tell that it's important to stay positive (stay positive doesn't mean to be unreasonably cheerful, but to believe that it's alright) nothing extraordinary bad is going on with you.
                I guess one of the points of this community is to spill out our worries and thoughts for everybody to see that almost all of us struggle with the same issues... and when we understand that we have all the same it's easier to overcome. Again I do not want it to sound like I do not take it serious or do not believe that you have BPD...I just want to offer you not to exclude an option that everything is really fine with you, maybe you just have mood swings or you probably experience a bit difficult time of your life...
    Keep loving yourself first of all. All the love on earth starts from love to yourself and it doesn't mean to be egoistic or arrogant ..it means just to accept yourself as you are knowing your positive and negative sites..

    I hope you'll feel better soon <3 

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