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Attendance

Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 2,094 Mega Poster
Hi guys ,

I dunno weather this belongs here’s but oh well 😐

over the past few weeks or so my tutor hasn’t got off my back about my attendance. She rang me last after I went to learning support and not her about not wanting to be in a lesson due to anxiety of a exam the next day .

she was like “ your meant to come to me not learning support , you can’t keep going to learning support “ even though learning support had emailed Her and my English teacher to say where I was . She then goes on to say we need to work on my attendance and I said it wasn’t that bad ( it’s 88% which considering everything that has happened since I started in September I think is pretty amazing I’m in most days ) and she said yes it is , it’s meant to be on 95% . 

She just makes me feel like rubbish shes meant to be there for my pastoral needs but is useless 

I do try and be in college as much as I can be and most days I’m in but there be times where if I leave the quiet study area I know I’ll just cry walking to the lesson and I don’t want that.

Anways she rang me this morning and was like I’m just checking your coming today , it’s like can she just please leave me alone , I attucally can’t get her off my back and it’s really annoying me now I even told her “ i prefer talking to learning support than you “ - obviously in a more nicer way 
You have a purpose.

Comments

  • MikeMike Posts: 1,636 Staff Moderator
    The W&V forum is a fine place for this post @Millie2787. :) 

    I can relate to a lot of what you're saying here. My attendance through education started declining from the end of high school and even more so when I started college. Staff can be quite relentless about telling you that you need to be in or that your attendance needs to be higher, and if you're already stressed by the things causing your low attendance, a lecture can be the last thing you need!

    Anways she rang me this morning and was like I’m just checking your coming today , it’s like can she just please leave me alone , I attucally can’t get her off my back and it’s really annoying me now I even told her “ i prefer talking to learning support than you “ - obviously in a more nicer way 

    Out of interest (and if you don't mind me asking), what did you say when you spoke to her?

    I wonder if it would be useful to arrange a sit down with your tutor about how she can help you? Quite often, these things can be caused by a miscommunication in what somebody needs. It's easy for both sides to get frustrated when they the other person isn't hearing or understanding them, and taking some time out to calmly talk about that can really help.

    For example, you could talk about what you find so useful about learning support and what she could provide as a tutor to supplement that. Your tutor might also gain a better understanding of why your attendance isn't perfect (88% is way higher than mine was - I have a lot of respect for that!), and she may bring some things to the discussion from her side that could be useful for you to hear.

    I don't know how much you've both talked about it of course so I'm making a lot of assumptions here, but thought I'd throw that out as one idea. :)

    The main thing I battled with when this was an issue for me was the guilt, and on reflection I now realise that, actually, there's only so much people can manage at difficult times in their lives, and it's really not your fault if college is needing to take a bit of a hit while you deal with other things (even if teachers aren't the best at understanding that). You're doing your best, and you deserve credit for that.

    this too shall pass

    ---
    on holiday until the end of September
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 2,094 Mega Poster
    @Mike All my other teachers seem to be fine and understand that when my anxiety is playing up I cannot leave G25 ( the quiet study room ) as I will just litreally break down . 

    Ive explained to her that Learning support room is close to G25 and the tutor hub ( otherside of college) and most of the time I can just about make it to there and by the time I’ve made it up to first floor and found them im in tears .

    weve sat down a few times and I’ve explained to her how I’m working with CAMHS and she knows about the situation with my newphew along with being a Young Carer . I just often find her patronising when she goes “ohh you poor thing” it’s like I need her to say that it just makes me feel belittled ( if that’s the right word ) 

    Mike said:
    Anways she rang me this morning and was like I’m just checking your coming today , it’s like can she just please leave me alone , I attucally can’t get her off my back and it’s really annoying me now I even told her “ i prefer talking to learning support than you “ - obviously in a more nicer way 

    Out of interest (and if you don't mind me asking), what did you say when you spoke to her ? 

    She had called me to her room in tutor him after I didn’t go to English one time and she was saying how im meant to go to her and I said I’m a nice way that “ i much prefer going to learning support then you ad I see them more often that you ( once a week during tutor ) 

    When she rang me I was like yes of course I am and she was just like that’s good wouldn’t want you to miss English again ! And at that point I just laughed and made up the fact I need to leave for the bus now and ended the call 

    I find it gets to the point of me having to be missing lessons for her to realise I might need some support . Like a few weeks back I had been saying for weeks beforehand how I don’t feel like I’m settling in or making friends and how I’m finding processing things in the lessons difficult and she just looked at my grades and we like your doing fine I don’t understand , you’ve just been laughing in tutor so how are you. It making friends and was dismissing the fact I wanted to quit college and then I ended up having a day off as my anxiety was just preventing me leaving the house and she suddenly rang me asking if there’s anything’s she can do blah blah blah.

    im just tempted to get Bethan ( CAMHS worker ) to write a letter about everything I’m struggling with becasue at least then she can’t ignore it when it’s come from a psychologist ! 

    P.S think you means SL&E not W&V 😉
    You have a purpose.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 2,094 Mega Poster
    edited April 10
    Welll I know this is kinda old but it’s still the same issue , having the last week and a half off for the pain I’m having had brought my attendance to below 85 % -it’s on 84.8% . So now my tutor is even more on my back saying we need to work on bringing back up when I’ve explained to her the reason why I haven’t been in the last week and a half.

    when reading through my memos in my profile as well she has added to under my careers one yesterday saying
    “ Attendance 84% . has had some attendance issues due to personal issues”

    so she clearly knows it’s personal things affecting me so I don’t understand why she’s on my back about It . She’s also said when I went to see her today that I have to have an interview with HoY to look at me being able to come back in September Because of attendance . I’m just tired of having keep explaining the reasons why I’m off , I can’t help the fact that I’ve had to say at home Becuase I haven’t been able to come with weather that’s Becuase or my anxiety  or that I’m ill . Just annoys me they seem more concrete on my attendance then supporting W to make sure I’m coping with college 
    You have a purpose.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 2,094 Mega Poster
    Now having to have this meeting with HoY about my coming back in September what am I going to do if she doesn’t let me back I don’t know what I’ll do I kinda wanted to do this course since I was younger and I don’t think I could cope with moving college again 
    You have a purpose.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 2,094 Mega Poster
    Now I've been told that theirs serious concerns about be doing the course next year, Ive wanted to do this course for ages and now i'm basically being forced into doing a different course because the think it will be better for me, My attendance and ability to keep up with the work load is the corner for them. 

    I'm so upset its always what i wanted to do and now i have to consider if health and social care is better for me :(
    You have a purpose.
  • AzzimanAzziman Posts: 496 Rampant Poster
    Hey Millie,

    Sorry to hear, that's awful! Among the other courses that fit better to your attendance and workload, is there any that you might like? I know it's not ideal, but if that's the choice you've got left then you have to make it work for you. Make the best of the situation, as best you can?x

    Much love <3
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 2,094 Mega Poster
    Azziman said:
    Hey Millie,

    Sorry to hear, that's awful! Among the other courses that fit better to your attendance and workload, is there any that you might like? I know it's not ideal, but if that's the choice you've got left then you have to make it work for you. Make the best of the situation, as best you can?x

    Much love <3
    Hey @Azziman,

    Health and social care is the only other L3 option that I have left that will allow me to progress Into the career that I want to do. They have my best interest at heart and just want to get me to the end of the course that’s netter suited to me but still allow me to carry on into my next steps after <3
    You have a purpose.
  • louisa982louisa982 Posts: 264 Rampant Poster
    Don't give up hope millie <3 Life can take us down lots of strange side paths, but even if you have to do a different course, it doesn't mean you won't be able to do want you want. Lots of employers offer a variety of roles and training opportunities. You'll get there in the end <3 
    Millie2787
  • JellyelephantJellyelephant Noob Posts: 638 Extreme Poster
    I agree with Louisa - there are plenty of routes into nursing whether you want to do it now or later... like I was telling you in pm I took an access course at age 24 and am starting my nursing degree age 25! It’s never too late x
    Millie2787
  • JellyelephantJellyelephant Noob Posts: 638 Extreme Poster
    And just to add there are people on my course who are in their 30s/40s etc so as you can see you can take different paths in life and still end up where you want to be :)
    Millie2787
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 2,094 Mega Poster
    @louisa982 @Jellyelephant thank you both , means a lot I guess it just hurt because I loved my childcare course but I guess I go to do what I thinks best for me enable me to complete my L3 and if that means doing health and social then so be it ! 
    You have a purpose.
  • JellyelephantJellyelephant Noob Posts: 638 Extreme Poster
    @louisa982 @Jellyelephant thank you both , means a lot I guess it just hurt because I loved my childcare course but I guess I go to do what I thinks best for me enable me to complete my L3 and if that means doing health and social then so be it ! 
    hey lovely - I understand. It's hard when your plan doesn't work out - I guess it is important to work out your priorities.... so if nursing is your priority then picking a course that you are more likely to pass and will get you to where you need to be is the right way forwards. I was wondering is it paediatric nursing you want to do or working in CAMHS? As I saw you mention both. x
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 2,094 Mega Poster
    Hey @Jellyelephant

    Hmmm I’m not really sure i say it’s more at nursing then CAMHS at the moment so I know Health and Social Care would be better but then I also knew I could progress peads nursing from the childcare course aswell. I guess the thih that would put me off health and social is it was very much orientation around the older age range but I guess I haven’t found it to bad doing it this year
    You have a purpose.
  • Invisible_meInvisible_me Posts: 136 The Mix convert

    Hello.

    Talk to the people who you get along with about how you finding her behaviour? I don't think she means it in a bad way- I think she's just concerned and worried for you and wants to make sure your then not falling behind academically- which then causes more anxiety. I think she's trying to help but maybe doesn't realise she's getting a bit annoying. Talk to larning support and get them to speak to her. Maybe you could do a joint meeting with Learning support and tutor/HoY. 

    I think that should then move you one step closer to answers?

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