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Tired of fighting parents

AshleenAshleen London Ontario CanadaPosts: 108 Boards Initiate
so My parents are always fighting and it never stops, my sister is on the edge of harming and I have been struggling for year
i feel as if it’s my fault and I’m the problem and can’t stop the feeling
im 17 soon to be 18 but My sister is 13 
i tell her I’m here if she’s needs me but Shen just gets made and smack me or yell and complain 
i dont know exactly what I’m looking for maybe some advice of support I guess  I don’t know. Sometimes I want someone who understand me and is there for me
my boyfriend doesn’t understand what I’m feeling I legit have nobody who understands.. 
It sucks 
way to much 
can anyone give me advice?

Comments

  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 754 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi Ashleen,

    Sorry to hear what you're going through. It doesn't sound like an easy environment to be in, for sure. I think it's important to take some perspective. Do your parents fight over anything in particular, or does it appear to happen over random topics? That might give some insight onto the real problem.

    When parents are always fighting, it can often come at the expense of other family members. It sounds like your sister is being affected by it, and is struggling to come to terms with what is happening. She's not angry at you - it's more likely she is angry at the situation, at your parents, or maybe even herself if she feels responsible for this. 

    This isn't your fault. You aren't causing your sister's distress, nor are you causing your parents to fight. The fact that you feel responsible is only showing your good character - you want to help and sort things out, and that's a good thing! 

    For your own wellbeing, it might be best to spend some time away from your family. I don't mean move away, but spending time with friends can take you out of that environment. Or, you could go out with your sister to take you both away from there. 

    I'm sorry if this hasn't helped much - I really hope things get better soon. If you ever want to chat or rant, drop me a PM - I'd be happy to listen to youx

    Much love <3
  • AshleenAshleen London Ontario CanadaPosts: 108 Boards Initiate
    They always fight over small things like if my dad comes home late from work or my mom isn’t feeling well and doesn’t help with dinner 
    it’s just hard I don’t want to see my sister hurting 
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 9,462 Supreme Poster

    Heyy


    I am sorry this is happening:(.  I cant say i understand your situation & how youre feeling as everyone is different. But i can relate and it is a horrible astmophere to be around and feel the massive dread in the pit of your stomach of waiting for another argument - is horrible :(


    It will never be anyones fault for parents fighting though. Theyre responsible for their own actions even if provoked. But it doesnt even sound provoked by you  

    Do your parents know how horrible it feels for you?


    Im sorry to hear you feel your sister is getting really affected:(. When you can tell  a fight is going to start - can you go out and do something enjoyable together?Or going to a room and watch a film or something to try and block it out? As maybe in a different  calming environment she may respond to you differently when she doesnt feel as much distress & on edge -  from it all


    Hope youre feeling a lil bit better today. 

    Take care

    X

    if you have the strength to sustain anorexia you have the strength to overcome it
  • RileyRiley Posts: 527 Super Moderator
    Hey @Ashleen hope you're doing okay.

    Just wanted to pop in here to echo what others have said that it's definitely not your fault when your parents fight and hopefully you manage to stop blaming yourself.

    You haven't posted in a while so I wanted to ask how are you doing at the moment? Has there been any change in how your parents are acting at all? Trying to help your sister feel better is wonderful of you but please also make sure to look after yourself as best you can!

    Let us know if there's anything worrying you.

    - Riley
  • AshleenAshleen London Ontario CanadaPosts: 108 Boards Initiate
    I’m doing okay
    umm tried to harm myself yesterday..
    not sleeping 
    but parents aren’t fighting
  • RileyRiley Posts: 527 Super Moderator
    It's good to hear that your parents aren't fighting at the moment but I'm sorry you've been having a rough time anyway, is there anything in particular bothering you that you'd like to talk about?

    - Riley
  • AshleenAshleen London Ontario CanadaPosts: 108 Boards Initiate
    Well I guess I’m just tired of being told I’m lying 
    move been mark absent for classes and because I’m not 18 my parents get a call but I’m actually in class and my parents won’t believe me!
    then my grades aren’t good enough and now my dad has a new schedule so he’s off weekends and I have to put up with arguing all day!
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,301 Part of The Furniture
    Hey Ashleen,

    Just wanted to pop on to offer you some hugs :heart:

    Sounds like your going through a bit of a struggle at the minute. 

    I fully understand how difficult it is dealing with arguments, do you have anyone you can talk too about things? I'm glad you've posted on here, that's awesome. 

    Keep posting if you need it :heart:


    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • AshleenAshleen London Ontario CanadaPosts: 108 Boards Initiate
    I have my boyfriend 
    but I don’t like bothering him with my problems when he has many things he deals with..
    i just feel so lost!
    and I won’t  be able to post Here for about a week
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,301 Part of The Furniture
    Sorry to hear how your feeling :heart:

    How come you won't be able to post on here? Sorry to hear that, 

    Sending hugs 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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