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Is my relationship worth it?
Former Member
Posts: 3 Newbie
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half now, I've know him for 2 years and I'm starting to feel a bit strange about the relationship. I know I love him but all I keep thinking is, is he right for me? We have fun and he's mostly on my same wavelength but he's really not very open with me emotionally and he frequently pushes me out. He's quite non-committal as well, as in when I want to see my parents with him he won't commit to plans. He won't be playful with me either but he will be playful with his best friend, who is a girl might I add. I just feel like I put in a lot with the relationship and that he kind of sees me as part of the furniture in a way. I just keep wondering if maybe he's not the person I should be devoting all my time an energy to, when I know for a fact that there are other people that would want to be playful and open with me.
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Comments
Having doubts about a relationship is really normal, especially when you've been together a year and a half as you say. After a year, things are starting to feel more serious and it's natural to start thinking about the future and questioning if they're the person you want to be with. Also, once you've had time to get to know someone properly, you are more aware of their flaws so can start to focus on those. I remember someone once gave me some advice that stuck with me though- "Everyone is annoying. You just have to decide if you want to be with them despite their annoying traits." There may be other people who'd make up for the things he lacks, but the truth is they will have other flaws, because noone is perfect.
Have you tried talking to him about how you feel (not necessarily about thinking he might not be the right person for you, but about you feeling like you're putting more effort and energy into the relationship and not really getting the same back)? Opening up the lines of communication is always the best place to start if you're having doubts of any kind.
We all have different kinds of relationships. There are some people we would tell certain things to, but not others. It may be that this relationship for him isn't a place for him to talk about his feelings, which I understand can be frustrating.
However, not wanting to meet your parents is something I'd be concerned about as well. Are there other examples of his refusal to commit? Perhaps during a long talk, you could casually ask him where he sees this relationship going.
Much love