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Super dad joke thread we all relish (Dill with it)

Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loopDeactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
in General Chat
So I thought about making a dad joke, bad puns and bad jokes thread we can all contribute to because they really Cheer me up when I'm in a pickle(okay enough pickle jokes 😂)

Hope people find this thread funny I'll start off:

If a wild pig kills you, does it mean you’ve been boared to death?

I've got plenty more so look forward to adding them :)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    The one that was voted Fringe joke of the year made me snort... 

    Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job – knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    That one got me Lucy 😂
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    What do you call a fly without wings?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Shaunie said:
    What do you call a fly without wings?
    Ooh I feel like I know but I'm not sure haha
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    A walk
    ahahha
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,194 Part of The Furniture
    Ohhh anyone who comes to GC knows I have some very cheesy cheese jokes ! 

    What tyoe of cheese isnt  yours 
    nacho Cheese

    what type of cheese do you use to entice a bear 
    Camembert 

    enjoy my cheese 🧀 jokes 😂
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 8,103 Legendary Poster
    1) The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2)     Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!

    3)     SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?”

    4)     What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.

    5)     When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!

    6) DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

    MOM: Oh my! Who!?

    DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

    MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

    DAD: No, it was with a knife...



    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Hahaha those are great kasa! 
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,194 Part of The Furniture
    What do you call a man with a bird in his head 
    Cliff 😂

    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 8,103 Legendary Poster
    Laine said:
    Hahaha those are great kasa! 
    Thanks. I deliberately put the last one in a spoiler as it could be triggering. 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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