Social anxiety. Help!

Abigail

Social anxiety, autism and social anorexia is all things I struggle with day in day out. Being away has made everything so much harder than normal. I wish I was working so I didn't have to battle the social anxiety and autism as much. This is to much but i cant escape, I can't talk, I can't do music practice. I am trapped in this body which keeps fighting but my brain is just wanting to rebelling against it all. 

Please can someone sympathise with me or just reassure me I am will be ok please

[Deleted User]

Hey Abi,

I am sorry you are going through what must feel like an endless uphill struggle, but while I don't feel qualified to advise on autism and social anorexia that you suffer, I have helped myself to deal with the overwhelming feelings of social anxiety. So what I have been doing is learning to face my anxieties despite the fears and doing it in a practical way.

Anxiety has a nasty way of chipping away at our self-esteem. It will make us think we can't do this or you can't do that. Therefore it's easy to get stuck in this endless cycle of fear. Though our social anxiety causes us feelings of wanting to run away from large crowds, I stop to do some breathing exercises, these being deep tummy breathing or meditation which my ex once taught me.

But for our social anxiety we can face our fears a little each day and eventually, work towards our bigger goals. For this, I have a notebook labelled and underlined My Social Anxiety. Inside is the day, the date, the week and month and in my notebook, I write my goals. During bouts of social anxiety I use whatever coping skills that have gathered down the months, so that by taking these small steps each day, I can gradually rebuild my confidence - and you, too. Ok, this is going to take time, but looking back I see how far I've come. It's taken practise. My results dealing with social anxiety didn't happen overnight. But I learnt to use my coping methods, and we all have our own.

Consequently I've been learning to judge my thoughts critically instead of accepting them as facts. My thoughts more than anything affect how I feel, therefore ultimately my perspective of the world. So many of us with social anxiety often have an intensely negative view and for this I speak personally. We can overestimate the likelihood of something bad happening, exaggerate the consequencies and then we end up underestimating our ability to cope. So I suggest check your thoughts.  Hmmm. What evidence do I have? What are the odds of this actually happening? Think about this: Just because you think something does not make it true. And speaking for myself, once I am able to walk better, I'm going to see a therapist about getting some cognitive behavioural therapy. I think that could even help you.

Sorry for the long message. But I hope you receive help and encouragement from our friends here who are more knowledgeable than me.

Best wishes,

Mandy

nish215

Hello Abigail,

I'm so sorry you're struggling with this right now. Just know you are not alone and can get through whatever you're going through. There have been many threads on this discussion board by people with social anxiety who have gotten through it and found ways to cope.

You do not have to do this alone so it's great to see that you reached out on here, but have you tried speaking to anyone else in your life, like a friend or your GP? Have you received any medical/professional help?

Let me know

-Nish

Azziman

Hi Abi,

I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling - it sounds like you're really struggling right now, but we're all here with you through this. I'm glad that you're able to come on here and discuss your troubles though - it's a good sign that you're accepting that things are tough and you need some help, and there's nothing wrong with that! Having disabilities like anxiety and autism can make our lives really hard sometimes, knowing that some things are simply out of our control, but we must do the best we can to adapt and try and live a happy and fulfilling life. Sometimes, things will get tough, but we have to process what's going on, get up back on our feet, and keep marching forward. I'd definitely look at meditation and mindfulness as ways to manage the stress you're experiencing. But of course, feel free to talk on here as well for an outlet. 

You can do this - I believe you can pick yourself up and pull through. You're strong, kind and confident, and you need to use those to help yourself now, just like you've helped countless others here x

Much love