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Im 15 and he’s 20, is that okay?
Former Member
Posts: 4 Newbie
hey,
this is is a bit long so bare with me, a couple of days ago I was coming home from London with my older brother, a family friend and their former student. It was about 11:00pm and all the trains to Peterborough were cancelled so we all had to get a bus to Cambridge, get off at hitchin and then get a bus that would take us to different towns that the Peterborough train would’ve taken us to. Once we got off at hitchin I saw the most attractive guy I’ve ever seen and I kept glancing back and we made eye contact a few times, we then Started talking a bit and ended up talking and flirting kinda pretty much the whole journey home. I felt slightly guilty though since I never soecified my age and I was wearing a dress that made me look older + I always talked about school in the past tense, but I thought we’d never see each other again and so no harm was done.
in the end though we gave him a lift home and I realised he actually lived quite close to us, once I got home it was about 2:00 and just before I went to bed I added him on Facebook. I woke up the next morning to a message from him and we then talked for a couple of hours, still flirting and began to feel even more guilty since we got on so well and was scared I’d lose him when he found out. I decided that I had to tell him before it got any further and so I ended up surprising him at his house and telling him and he said he was fine with my age and that he wanted to meet up soon, this all sounds great except my whole family would disapprove and I hate lying to them, also I’m not old enough to drive and he doesn’t drive it seems like it would be almost impossible to meet up without my family knowing ( I live in a place where there is hardly any public transport). The more I think about it the more nervous and anxious I get since I’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend and have no idea what I’m doing whereas I’m sure he has way more experience, I also know that I’m quite easy to pressure/manipulate into doing things that I don’t want to and I’m scared that that will happen with him, even though he hasn’t done anything so far to show that he will and everything so far seems to be genuine. I’m feeling isolated and kinda scared/ worried so any advice would be much appreciated.
Natasha x
this is is a bit long so bare with me, a couple of days ago I was coming home from London with my older brother, a family friend and their former student. It was about 11:00pm and all the trains to Peterborough were cancelled so we all had to get a bus to Cambridge, get off at hitchin and then get a bus that would take us to different towns that the Peterborough train would’ve taken us to. Once we got off at hitchin I saw the most attractive guy I’ve ever seen and I kept glancing back and we made eye contact a few times, we then Started talking a bit and ended up talking and flirting kinda pretty much the whole journey home. I felt slightly guilty though since I never soecified my age and I was wearing a dress that made me look older + I always talked about school in the past tense, but I thought we’d never see each other again and so no harm was done.
in the end though we gave him a lift home and I realised he actually lived quite close to us, once I got home it was about 2:00 and just before I went to bed I added him on Facebook. I woke up the next morning to a message from him and we then talked for a couple of hours, still flirting and began to feel even more guilty since we got on so well and was scared I’d lose him when he found out. I decided that I had to tell him before it got any further and so I ended up surprising him at his house and telling him and he said he was fine with my age and that he wanted to meet up soon, this all sounds great except my whole family would disapprove and I hate lying to them, also I’m not old enough to drive and he doesn’t drive it seems like it would be almost impossible to meet up without my family knowing ( I live in a place where there is hardly any public transport). The more I think about it the more nervous and anxious I get since I’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend and have no idea what I’m doing whereas I’m sure he has way more experience, I also know that I’m quite easy to pressure/manipulate into doing things that I don’t want to and I’m scared that that will happen with him, even though he hasn’t done anything so far to show that he will and everything so far seems to be genuine. I’m feeling isolated and kinda scared/ worried so any advice would be much appreciated.
Natasha x
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Comments
Natasha x
I'd be very careful with what happens here. The gap in age isn't really a problem - plenty of relationships work with a 5 year gap. The fact that you haven't known him long at all, that he's very eager to see you again despite being told your age, and that you admit that you're prone to being manipulated, all are red flags that this is a very risky situation. To add to that, if you don't think your parents and family would approve, there's probably a good reason for that - if they find out, not only would you be told off and your relationship broken, but he could also be sent to prison for being sexually active with a minor (if it got that far). Personally, I don't think it's worth risking your good relationship with your family and your self-admitted vulnerability to manipulation, all for a stranger that you don't know at all. But, the decision lies within your handsx
Much love
I'm worried about how soon you are meeting up too, it is fairly soon and while age gaps are okay i'm a bit concerned.
Particularly because of your age.
5 years between adults isn't a problem, but you're not even the legal age for consensual sex yet and the fact that you're young and he knows are easily manipulated might mean he may try to take advantage of you.
I'm not making assumptions so please don't think i'm being mean particularly to him as i don't know him at all.
Just be careful and wary. Maybe spend more time talking online and be careful, don't send nudes or engage in phone sex, sending nudes or receiving them under 18 is illegal and you might get blackmailed with them.
Just be cautious x