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Feeling isolated and scared

barbaraxxbarbaraxx Posts: 17 Fast Newbie
Hiya im just wondering if any other young people out there feel like this to? Im really seriously struggling at the moment ive ended up in a really difficult situation and im feeling very alone atm also. Im 24 and im suffering very severly from anxiety and depression because of this and im so overwhelmed and feel i have no one to turn to. I dont feel i have any friends and i have been spending all of my time alone. I had a friend that i used to be close to but she has changed so much i havent seen her for months and i dont have a partner either. Ive had a lot of bad experiences in the last few years. Im really suffering the loss of this friend as that friendship was a good one and i really dont want to lose it we were bestfriends and having no friends and starting over is extremly distressing for me and upsetting. I do work but i feel very unsure about what career i really want to do and im just not sure where my life is headed im scared. My friend really hurt me and has beeen constantly arguing with me for months over text so this has made my situation 1000x worse. My anxiety is so extreme it holds me back and stops me doing things. Ive tried my hardest to improve my situation but i cant seem to fix it😭 please be gentle with me in response to my message as im honestly fragile atm xoxox 
 
hannahxoxoMeloddymaybeFloxypeachysooEyepatch

Comments

  • hannahxoxohannahxoxo Posts: 20 Fast Newbie
    Hiya im just wondering if any other young people out there feel like this to? Im really seriously struggling at the moment ive ended up in a really difficult situation and im feeling very alone atm also. Im 24 and im suffering very severly from anxiety and depression because of this and im so overwhelmed and feel i have no one to turn to. I dont feel i have any friends and i have been spending all of my time alone. I had a friend that i used to be close to but she has changed so much i havent seen her for months and i dont have a partner either. Ive had a lot of bad experiences in the last few years. Im really suffering the loss of this friend as that friendship was a good one and i really dont want to lose it we were bestfriends and having no friends and starting over is extremly distressing for me and upsetting. I do work but i feel very unsure about what career i really want to do and im just not sure where my life is headed im scared. My friend really hurt me and has beeen constantly arguing with me for months over text so this has made my situation 1000x worse. My anxiety is so extreme it holds me back and stops me doing things. Ive tried my hardest to improve my situation but i cant seem to fix it😭 please be gentle with me in response to my message as im honestly fragile atm xoxox 
     
    hi! it sounds like that friend is honestly ruining you and u dont deserve that at all. why dont u try to make friends with people at work if u can and then thatd give u more confidence to leave your other friend.have u got family u can hang out with, maybe it wont make u feel as alone and upset to be surrounded by loved ones also try maybe joining clubs or anything to make new friends. dont push yourself though, focus on yourself as well and doing things to calm/relax your mind. i hope everything goes good for you in the future because you deserve a lot better than what your getting 
    barbaraxx
  • barbaraxxbarbaraxx Posts: 17 Fast Newbie
    Hi! Thank u hannah. Yeah shes just made me feel terrible. I just cant understand her behaviour at all. I feel like its all my fault😔.  Im just really upset and unsettled by all this. Yeah i do try my hardest at work with other ppl but they are all a lot older than me im just feeling really stuck all this has brought me right down  and i feel like im just feeling worse and worse im really worried. I dont get much support off of my family i just feel like a burdon which makes me feel worse.  thank u so much 💕💕 xxx
  • AzzimanAzziman Posts: 226 The Mix convert
    edited May 27
    Hi barbara,

    Sorry to hear what you've been through - it sounds like there are a lot of things that are causing you stress, making your anxiety worse and thus holding you back. As a young person, I can definitely relate to some things you've said! This "friend" is causing you nothing but trouble and pain now - I know that it can be hard being alone, but that is far better than being put down and hurt every time by this awful "friend". Cut them out completely - block, remove number and never message. Enough damage has been done already!

    As for work, I've learned that it's okay not to know for definite - I can relate to that feeling! For now, pick something you like and really go for it - if you like it, you can stay, otherwise you can go to another company (if the company wasn't great) or another job sector (if you don't like the work). But choose something, otherwise you'll be left with no job or income! You can always change down the line - I know a colleague who changed profession atleast 5 times and isn't even 40 yet!x

    For the anxiety, I think you need more support. If you haven't already, see a GP (for medication), and arrange a meeting with a counsellor or therapist. In addition, some workplaces offer support for people with mental illnesses, so that could be useful when looking for a job. I'd also contact Mind for advice, and Samaritans if you need to vent/discuss your problems - I know that doesn't replace having a good friend to talk to, but it's far better than keeping everything bottled up! Finally, I'd suggest looking into mindfulness and meditation as a self-care approach to managing anxiety - I found it's worked for myself and several people I know, so I'd strongly recommend it!x

    Here to support you through this!x

    Much love <3
    Floxybarbaraxxpeachysoo
  • barbaraxxbarbaraxx Posts: 17 Fast Newbie
    Hi! Thank u so much for taking time to reply to my message. Yeah i just feel like im in a really bad place at the moment im really scared this anxiety really frightens and overwhelms me😭 all the worries im having are about my friend and also about my  future to do with work and meeting new ppl and whats going to happen. I get so upset about it all im really scared the worrying just sets me off so much i get physical symptoms.   yeah i just feel so much pressure atm esp being 24 i feel under pressure to know but im so glad u have reassured me. i feel like no matter what i do i just cant get out of my situation. Its like being trapped in a box wherever u turn theres no way out its suffocating. Ive tried different jobs and i just dont feel anything i just feel numb and that really frightens me as i know that that is a warning sign something isnt right. I just dont seem to het enjoyment anymore.  ive had really bad reactions to medication. One medication made my anxious thoughts faster and stronger and louder and another medication very scarily caused hallucinations🙈 but as soon as i came off the medications i went back to normal. So im scared to try anything else. I was going to go for talking therapy but the waiting list is a year! Im thinking of going private tho i just hope it isnt to expensive and i have enough money to go. Ive stuck in the job im in but it isnt a permanent job its a supply contract. I  work on supply in the school nurseries so i move about a lot. I dont have any support my family arent supportive of me they just dont understand my mum snaps at me and tells me thats life get on with it and my dad is sarcastic and takes the mick out of me for suffering like this and ive lost my friend now i just cant cope i feel so alone with it. All these things worsen my anxiety. When we were friends she was very supportive and really helped me she suffered aswel so she really understood so its really hard to lose her completely because of these fallouts😭 aw i just dont know what to do, thank u for your message and support💕 i really hope things are okay for u  xox
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 286 Rampant Poster
    Hey @barbara141093

    I really relate to how you are feeling and am sending you massive hugs  <3 I had a friend just like yours, we were really close but one day things just seemed to start turning, we drifted apart and began falling out. I stopped all contact with her about 3 years ago and honestly it's been the best thing for my mental health and my anxiety has calmed. I know it's really sad and a shame to lose someone you once loved so much and relied on, but people change and she is doing you no good anymore. It feels sooo scary but I promise things will get better because you will FEEL better over time. 

    Have you thought about or tried using one of the online/phone counselling services? There's some really good links at the end of this article http://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/anxiety-ocd-and-phobias/what-is-anxiety-5598.html - let us know what you think? 

    Hope things improve, here for you as and when you need  :3

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
    barbaraxx
  • FloxyFloxy Artisan DeiàPosts: 739 Incredible Poster
    edited May 29
    I can totally relate with the anxiety and being treated so appallingly by family who, since my relationship breakup, deserted me all excetp a dear aunt called Fiona. A forster mum, she made me guardian of a sweet and gentle 12 year old called Sophie. Together Soph and I helped each other with our worries, but I found eating well balanced food a great help and cutting down on caffeine drinks such as coffee. Caffeine badly affects anxiety sufferers. Another effective way is get enough sleep every night. I rarely stay up after 10:30 pm though wake at dawn to work outside while the weather is thankfully cooler. At least an hour before bedtime stay off your computer or phone because its screen's light can keep you awake. My aunt recommended f.lux  https://justgetflux.com/  which has been very helpful for my eyes after sunset. It's free, needs just your postcode to adjust night time screen colour and they never, ever spam you.

    Samaritans could be very helpful to you.  https://www.samaritans.org/  When in a recent crisis, talking to them soothed my anxieties and allwayed my fears. It was a lady I spoke to and previously a guy. Both were patient and gentle. They gave me a big boost to my confidence, praising me for my courage. Having talked to the Samaritans I found it was easier to cope with my situation, so I recommend them.

    Call 116 123

    If you're in the UK, contact Mind. https://www.mind.org.uk/

    Keep a diary, try breathing exercises and if you have a close friend talk to them. Listen to uplifting music, especially at night. Make a comforting cuppa of what you love.  Regarding your depression, you should ask your doctor for advice.

    Best wishes,

    Mandy










    I'm driven by self doubt.
    barbaraxx
  • barbaraxxbarbaraxx Posts: 17 Fast Newbie
    Hiya thank u so much for your messages. Its so hard lucy😭 we were like sisters we were so close and now its all such a mess i have so much anxiety about it all im in such a bad way my mind just never seems to switch off from it everyday i feel like this😔  im so sorry u have had to go through this aswel but i am so glad u feel better now. Yeah im waiting for phone conselling hopefully it will help. Mandy i am so sorry you have gone through all that  that sounds so distressing and difficult. Thank u everyone for all your support help and advice xoxoxx 
    Floxy
  • FloxyFloxy Artisan DeiàPosts: 739 Incredible Poster
    edited May 30
    Hiya thank u so much for your messages. Its so hard lucy😭 we were like sisters we were so close and now its all such a mess i have so much anxiety about it all im in such a bad way my mind just never seems to switch off from it everyday i feel like this😔  im so sorry u have had to go through this aswel but i am so glad u feel better now. Yeah im waiting for phone conselling hopefully it will help. Mandy i am so sorry you have gone through all that  that sounds so distressing and difficult. Thank u everyone for all your support help and advice xoxoxx 
    Hey Barb, my aunt tells me to take one day at a time and not rush things. I offer you the same advice, for we will have down days, but also better ones, too. Like @Lucy307 I'm finding my mental health and anxiety gradually calming, but we must be patient with ourselves (I'm speaking to myself here) and just do what needs to be done on the day. Does that make sense? We mustn't overstretch ourselves as that can so easily be done. Try and find time to rest, kick back, put your feet up and enjoy a glass of milk or whatever.

    Yes, people change though some for the better and some, not. My ex revealed a part of herself that frightened me, and I took Sophie away to protect her so we ended up living alone - but not completely, for we have friends, just a few is all we need. Do you have a close friend? Someone you can call on, be they a neighbour or someone you know and have come to trust? People come to us, I'm beginning to find. Only recently this has started happening. Also the community here has some very lovely people, so please keep talking to us and we will help you the best we can. :smiley: 

    Do pm me if you ever need.

    Mandy

    PS. I think you need more support and one super way is to apply to join Support Circle which I went ti last night and found a great help.


    Making a chat account only takes a minute. When chats are starting, make an account here:







    I'm driven by self doubt.
    barbaraxx
  • barbaraxxbarbaraxx Posts: 17 Fast Newbie
    Thank u for all your support🤗 i  wanted to turn to a close friend and tell them how depressed i am and that i feel like i dont want to be here anymore sometimes but im so scared of the reaction il get :( i dont want to be judged or anything xx
  • FloxyFloxy Artisan DeiàPosts: 739 Incredible Poster
    barbaraxx said:
    Thank u for all your support🤗 i  wanted to turn to a close friend and tell them how depressed i am and that i feel like i dont want to be here anymore sometimes but im so scared of the reaction il get :( i dont want to be judged or anything xx
    I believe if your friend is close to you, then they will not judge you in anyway or be harsh.

    Close friends are always good to come to when we're upset or unsure. We can trust that they will give us support though sometimes they speak their mind. It's because they care, for me, for you so I wouldn't worry. :)

    I'm driven by self doubt.
    barbaraxx
  • barbaraxxbarbaraxx Posts: 17 Fast Newbie
    Yeah i try to think if someone came to me feeling like that how would i react? Esp someone close And i would never ever judge id be so upset my friend felt like that and id do my best to help but i just get worried  as i know we dont all react the same xx  
  • FloxyFloxy Artisan DeiàPosts: 739 Incredible Poster
    I think it would be most helpful to you if you apply to join Support Circle this Sunday or Tuesday of next week. Announcements will be made for those sessions found here. http://community.themix.org.uk/categories/live-chat-announcements

    Support Circle allows everyone to have 10 minutes (or more if there are less in the chat) in which to get help and support from the others and the moderators. Lately I've found these sessions very helpful so I'm sure you will, too. :)





    I'm driven by self doubt.
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 286 Rampant Poster
    barbaraxx said:
    Yeah i try to think if someone came to me feeling like that how would i react? Esp someone close And i would never ever judge id be so upset my friend felt like that and id do my best to help but i just get worried  as i know we dont all react the same xx  

    Hey @barbara141093 

    How are you doing? I agree that talking to a close friend about it might really help, sometimes we just need to release and let it out to someone else. Be kind to yourself - if you would not judge your friend for opening up, chances are they won't judge you either. I think it's worth it, if you feel comfortable to  :) . How are you getting on with the phone counselling - you said you were waiting for it? 

    - Lucy <3
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
    barbaraxx
  • barbaraxxbarbaraxx Posts: 17 Fast Newbie
    Hi lucy im so sorry for such a late response i havent been on here im not good at all my anxiety is so bad atm😭 and ive not had my councelling yet. I opened up as much as i could to my friend and she was so nice to me about how im feeling but i still feel a but worried and paranoid of what she really thinks and im not to sure why this is its maybe due to the bad experience i had with my other friend and ive just been trying to settle my mind that she does care and is there for me. The loss of my bestfriend is so hard for me to get my head around and im really struggling to accept and come to terms with it and its causing a huge amount of stress. How have u been? Hope your okay  Xx 
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 286 Rampant Poster
    Hey @barbaraxx, don't apologise! I'm really sorry to hear your anxiety is really bad right now :( when will you have your counselling, do you know?

    I'm soo glad you opened up to a friend, it can be really scary but sounds like she reacted well and cares about you too <3. If she didn't care, she wouldn't have listened to you, so please try to settle your mind with that if you can. She clearly does care about you :). I really relate to you finding it hard to come to terms with the loss of your friend. It's like a breakup but worse because it's not as clean cut as that!! I'm all good, thank you for asking, I am focusing on the things that matter and the people that make me happy. I do think once you are able to let go (it'll take time), you will look back and thank yourself for it. It's part of self care. 

    - Lucy 
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • barbaraxxbarbaraxx Posts: 17 Fast Newbie
    Thank u lucy❤ im going to have to sort it out again as i missed my councelling as i was just to anxious to face it🤦‍♀️😔 yeah it really is think u hope your bestfriends are for life and when they arent there anymore and let u down and treat u badly its hard to accept and get your head around i feel crushed by it.   Thats really good im glad u have things and ppl that male u happy xx 
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 286 Rampant Poster
    Hey @barbaraxx, aww that's OK! When do you get the chance to go again? Totally get your anxiety about it, it can be really daunting, but I do think you will feel better after getting it all off your chest <3 let us know how you're getting on, rooting for you x
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
    barbaraxx
  • barbaraxxbarbaraxx Posts: 17 Fast Newbie
    Aw thank u lucy thats so sweet! Ive got to email them to sort it out. I really hope so i feel il never be happy again:( its hard keeping this all inside and telling the person causing all this how upset abd sad they are making me feel and it still not changing its not okay for my friend to make me feel this way :( ive spoke to her again in a bid to try and sort it all out as i just dont feel i want to cut her off but i have anxiety for her response :( a friend should care not twist things and make u feel bad:(  xx 
  • SevenSeven Posts: 48 Moderator
    Hey barbaraxx,

    Your anxiety about this is understandable, but you clearly care a lot about the situation, so hopefully this works and it becomes more positive. 

    You are definitely right to say that friends shouldn't make you feel bad, and your mental health is very important, so perhaps you could try focusing on something else. Do you have any hobbies or any forms of exercise you enjoy? Something to take your mind off this could be useful!

    I hope you feel a bit better! We're here to listen if you want to say anything else :) 
    barbaraxx
  • barbaraxxbarbaraxx Posts: 17 Fast Newbie
    Hi thank u for replying to me, things have moved on now and my friend has finally agreed to meet me although im having very bad anxiety over this and im not sure who to turn to :(I dont have any hobbies i have took up jogging to try and keep active althoigh its really hard for me to keep motivated atm xxx 
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