Home Anything Goes
At The Mix, we want to make our services as helpful as we can. To do this, we’d love to ask you a few questions about you, your visit to The Mix and its impact. It should take only about 5-10 minutes to complete. Take this survey and get a chance at winning a £200 Amazon voucher​.
Come and join our Support Circle, every Tuesday, 8 - 9:30pm! Sign up here
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Post of the Month April - *Poll now open*

SarahRSarahR ModPosts: 213 Settling in
Hi all, it's time for POTM April :)

ella! was the winner of POTM March for her post on the TheSite.org.

Don't forget to keep nominating posts for next month's POTM!

Here are the nominations for April:

butterfly123 nominated Petrichor for this post in What have you learnt since joining The Site?
Petrichor wrote: »
One other thing, perhaps the most important:

Whatever you're feeling - you genuinely, really, seriously are not alone.

*BananaMonkey* nominated butterfly123 for this post in Starting a sexual relationship
It isn't impossible for an autistic person to gain good social and communication skills. Granted it takes time and hard work but nothing is impossible. It could get better rather slowly over time, so you might not notice the difference until someone would point it out.

ninaballet nominated StrubbleS for this post in Starting a sexual relationship
StrubbleS wrote: »
Ah! finally. An outside perspective. But you did not like it and hoped we'd tell you something else.

Let me repeat what I said on page 4 or so. Being able to pull someone and take them home is a bit of a gift. It takes practice and you need to be good at it. You need to be a good conversationalist, make her feel good about herself, make the whole "date" thing enjoyable. you think that wanting sex should be enough and I told you pretty much everyone likes sex. You need to be able to offer more than that. But once again: it is no magic phrase or little trick. No, you do not need to wine and dine her and listen to her life story for half a year, but you need something to offer. Skills. You cannot just say "do this, say this and you win"

It is like you are at you first day at work. Do you think you will be as good and efficient at it than the guy who did it for 10 years? Why doesn't he just tell you what to say to your boss or what to do with your hands so you are instantly good and have great success?

You will 99,99% never be the first choice of any girl. You are obsessed, you are socially atrophied, you have no money and you are by you own description not good looking. Basically you are offering someone a rusty, crummy 1960 volkswagen in beige with weird stains on the seating, but the next guy offers a cherry red Porsche 911. If there is any way you get a girl to take your VW it is when there is no competition with another car, i.e. when you get to know her and show her the character this car has, how reliable it is. That takes time. If your offer is "take the car in the next 10 seconds or not at all" chances are very high she will not buy it. She does not feel confident that that is what she wants. If you try to offer your crummy car in a nightclub where there are others who offer sportscars, you won't be in luck.

tl;dr: You do not possess what woman are looking for when they jump into bed with somebody immediately. It's like you are asking you how to buy a yacht with your job at ASDA. I know this is very disappointing to you, but believe me, if I could easily and reliably have sex every day I would. Most people are able to accept that this is not how the world works and stop being disappointed when they leave their teenage years. sex is a mountain and to reach the summit via a shortcut you need to be a very gifted climber, but you are in a wheelchair. If you want to reach the top you need to take the nice, gentle, but long route. The sooner you accept that it is not in your capacity to woo girls with a few pickup lines and a fiery desire to have sex the sooner you can actually start your ascend on the long road, instead of sitting in the valley and looking up the steep wall you'd need to climb up to.

**helen** nominated Nietzsche for this post in What would you NEVER want your boyfriend/girlfriend to know about?
Nietzsche wrote: »
Personally, I don't think anything should be off limits- open and honest communication is an important aspect of a relationship, even if some of the things you hear will be uncomfortable and heard to hear. Keeping secrets often leads to distrust and resentment, particularly if either party has had issues with dishonest partners in the past.

Get voting! (I can't think of a way to talk about the other voting you may or may not have done recently, so just imagine your own witty reference here).

Post of the Month April - *Poll now open* 11 votes

9% 1 vote
45% 5 votes
27% 3 votes
18% 2 votes
This discussion has been closed.